Sing Along With Me, Children

Sweet mother of GAWD, the Republican lineup for the 2012 elections is getting worse by the minute. I'm afraid to laugh as hard as I want to in case I piss myself.

Then along came Ms. Mollybean1 and posted SadnMad's delightful little ditty that sums the motherfuckers up pretty accurately, don'tyathink?



I mean, Christ, look at this pack of dimbulb stooges! The President can just phone it in at this rate, yes?

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Entertainment? Say WHAT?

Okay, c'mon, you all knew about this and have been laughing into your sleeve for weeks. I didn't. I only just heard about it recently. And when I did, I thought, "Oh, no, they didn't say that! It's the surgery, it's the meds, I've GOT to be imagining this, they couldn't possibly have said "tea bagging," could they?"

But yes, it's the Republican Party, after all, AKA the Party of FAIL. And they said "TEA BAGGING!" Yes, they did.

On April 15, patriots like Sean "Butt Boy" Hannity, Flush "Anal Poisoning" Rimbowl, Glenn "Snivel" Beck, and their like will be participating in Teabagging Parties all across the nation. To show us that, uh, well, um, that ... Gay Marriage is Wrong! And, and, and, uh, they're ...

Oh, never mind. Watch this for yourself. And keep the laughter down. You don't want this to go viral.

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Meta! I'm Back, Dammit!

From ICHC, of course

Yeah, they don't tell you till afterwards that knee replacement surgery is the most painful kind of surgery you can have. Although, if they'd told me beforehand, as they did afterwards, I probly would still be running, bum leg or no bum leg. Other things they don't tell you: Knee injury hastens the deterioration of hyaline cartilage around the bum joint, and that stuff don't grow back. People who seriously injure their knees during their wild and wicked yoof will pay and pay and pay for the rest of their lives with decreasing mobility and pain. All those young football stars who get sent to the chopping block? They're demanding million-dollar salaries because when they go in for the first replacement, that's pretty much the end of it. Of course, we're trained to bay at the obscene amounts they make and roll over for teh belly rub when a banker takes home $10 mil in bonus plus whatever obscene amount they make each year every year for fifty years or more in the workforce, but hey.

You goddamned losers gotta stop envying the rich for being rich, says the WSJ, wiping a tear from its greedy eye with teh Hanky of Opportunism. Gads, a one-legged ass-kicking's on the menu for the lot of those sodding bastids, don't you think?

Today's heart-lightening theft from YouTube shows that President Obama has two working legs and is not afraid to use them to kick a little deserving butt. And when has any behind seemed more deserving?



Blogging light but determined. Heavy drugs in the mornings, scattered wiseass remarks throughout the day. Storms of rabid language predicted, also Banker Pinatas as a way of stimulating teh economy.

Yeah, I'm glad to be back. Nothing like telling the fecking sods what it is while your leg is stretched by an inquisitorial torture device of sorts (what the FECK is this, anyway?).

The Terrible Saga will grace these pages forthwith. And terrible it was, in the stinky sort of way that week-old corpses and hospital tales tend to be.

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2008 Elections: Vote!

And be very careful when you do. Although some of us live in states where we can vote by mail, or vote early, or voting machines come with a printout, others of us do not. If you're concerned about the voting machine correctly recording your vote, please take your video camera, still camera, or cellphone with recording capability to the polls with you. Record what happens. Check your receipt carefully. Request a paper ballot if you can.

Most importantly, watch this:



Remember to protect your right to vote! Your ancestors died so that you could someday determine for yourself who would govern you and how. VOTE!

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2008 Elections: Entertainment!

Dang, if only it was for real:



It is to larf.

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2008 Elections: Who ARE These People, Anyway?

Welp. Apparently, The Daily Show decided to take a look.



Nice to know that millions of our dollars are going to Alaska to subsidize a bunch of assholes who refer to the rest of us as "goddamned jackasses" while telling us their Mayor (who doesn't provide anything by way of social services to this frowsy little town) thinks she, and her statemate Palin, are unambiguously "qualified" to be the Vice President of these United States.

A woman who doesn't even know what the VP does and was so bad at her job that her constituents had to force her to hire an actual city manager to run that one-horse town is going to run a country of 300 million people.

NOT!! Vote for Obama/Biden instead!

Hot rumour of the day: Sarah Palin stepping down. Look for it on YouTube.

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2008 Elections: Oui, On Peut

For Ms. Manitoba and all our French-speaking friends in Africa, Canada, La Belle France, and Louisiana, a rockin' Obama Zydeco from that fine Cajun land:



Si, se puede!
Si, possiamo!
Yes, we CAN!

It's getting down to the wire, folks. Vote early. Volunteer. Do everything you can to ensure that when we all wake up on the fifth of November, it will be to a President Obama.

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2008 Elections: More Entertainment!

OMG!! No, really, OMGWTFBBQLOL and ORLY to boot. Checkidout:



Okay, all you friends, neighbours, and visitors, you're all probly old enough to have kids the age of these. You so need to show these to your kids, too.

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2008 Elections: This is The Real McCain

Robert Grossman for RS

Rolling Stone has just come out with a lengthy, detailed, devastating article about the real John McCain.

Takes a while to read but well worth the reading. We knew most of this information, but Tim Dickinson has assembled the facts together in a well-researched and -written article, our grateful thanks, Tim.

Read it and weep.

In other news, the aging dim bulb with the Napoleon complex reveals his real affinities in the following clip:



What a horrible little man he is. Did you know that McCain's top foreign policy advisor Randy Scheunemann, who works for Mikheil Saakashvili of Georgia, is also the fine upstanding American citizen who gave us Ahmed Chalabi? Remember Ahmed Chalabi, the Iranian double agent who helped drag us into this mess in Iraq?

Oh, wait, McFlip-Flop has backed away on that one. Apparently, he gets his foreign policy advice from Sarah Failin.

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Meta: Light Blogging

Light day today. Bad reaction to meds. In the meantime, amuse yourselves with this:



It is to larf.

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Animals: Chris Rock was Right

Milagrito's first post is on the tough issue of animal rights: specifically, the aerial hunting of wolves espoused by Sarah Palin:



Chris Rock said recently that Michael Vick must be wondering what the fuck is happening, when he goes to jail for dogfighting and this woman goes to the VP chair for doing worse (we paraphrase). In the event, Milagrito sent us this video. As an Animal of Great Wisdom, Milagrito feels keenly the injustice involved in the aerial hunting of wolves, where the creatures are chased until they are exhausted by people in helicopters, then shot down when they can run no more.

Why don't these people have the guts to take the animals on one-to-one, armed with knife and/or bow? Isn't hunting carnivores all about bragging on how macho you are? You know, "My balls are so big I need a wheelbarrow to carry 'em around" type thing?

Gracias, Milagrito, Feline Pope-in-Exile, for alerting us to this totally cool (if upsetting) clip.

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2008 Elections: Telling The Truth

Or not, as the case may be:



Hey, ya gotta go FTW! Or something. Actually, we are really glad that someone's pointing out what a lying liar McScum is. And Paiin? Unbelievable. Has that woman ever told the truth?

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2008 Elections: The Obama Video FAQ

Some brilliant soul over at DailyKos put this together, and we liked it so much, we decided to put it up.

Got questions about Obama? Check out this video clip. Got friends, neighbours, relatives, colleagues, acquaintances who might have questions about Obama? Tell them to check out this video clip. Enjoy!

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Crime: Jean-Pierre Orlewicz Sentenced

Jean-Pierre Orlewicz

The psychopathic little wretch will get life in prison without possibility of parole. He was seventeen years old when he committed his crime. He is eighteen years old today.

We have mixed feelings about Mr. Orlewicz' sentence. There is no denying that he is a detestable little boil without the slightest trace, apparently, of what makes people human beings &mdash that is, a capacity for empathy, for understanding the pain that others suffer and therefore being incapable of inflicting it upon them.

Mr. Orlewicz' crime, in case you're not up on details, involved luring a supposed friend to the Orlewicz grandparental home, having first prepared the garage with tarps to minimize cleanup of blood. He then set upon his victim, Daniel Sorenson, and stabbed him repeatedly, which caused Mr. Sorenson's death.

Having murdered Mr. Sorenson, whose only crime appears to have been borrowing money from Mr. Orlewicz and failing to repay it, he then cut off Mr. Sorenson's head and applied a blowtorch to the hands and feet, to make identification more difficult. He bullied another debtor and friend into helping him transport the body to an open area, where he doused it with flammables and set it on fire. He disposed of the head in a river.

The friend and fellow-debtor in the case, one Alexander James Letkemann, has been sentenced to 20 years in prison, for aiding and abetting inthe crime. Although Mr. Letkemann, who was 18 years old at the time, did not actually assist in killing Mr. Sorenson, he helped prepare the scene and helped dispose of the body. Foolish boy. He may never see his parents alive again.

Orlewicz did not speak at the sentencing hearing, having, apparently, already seriously damaged his case by taking the stand in his own defense. However, the judge who sentenced him, Wayne County Circuit Court Judge Annette Berry said she was grateful he was convicted.

"I am grateful that you are going away for the rest of your life, because in my view I believe you will kill again," Berry said.

[...]

The judge called the killing "an evil act." "There is a difference between mental illness in this country and evil," Berry said. "But your actions, sir, are tantamount to evil. No two ways about it."

Judges, in our estimation, are not always the best evaluators of character. Like any other human being, they have their own biases and their life experiences shape much of what they see and how they think. However, the judge's assessment in this case makes us wonder what she saw in this teenage boy &mdash because we saw some evidence of psychopathic behaviour, but we freely admit that we are very prejudiced against him &mdash that would cause her to say such things.

We understand that there is a video clip on YouTube of Mr. Orlewicz testifying on the stand. For reasons we don't understand, and don't want to troubleshoot, we cannot view the clip. But we are told by those who have viewed it that it revealed Mr. Orlewicz to be a nasty little wretch and pretty much guaranteed his conviction.

Mr. Orlewicz' attorneys will appeal. Let us hope they meet with no success. We really do not think this teenager should be allowed to find potential new victims. The parents of both these children and the murdered man have our deepest sympathies. What must it be like to know that you have raised a monster, and that your own flesh and blood is condemned by society at large never to walk free again?

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Cats!

For Lizzy, Christy, The Smirking Cat, Kittywampus, and all the other cat-lovers who frequent this site, or occasionally drop by:



Forgive us if we've omitted anyone. Also, please do not try this at home, even with adult supervision. We (being of a scientific bent &mdash oh, alright, plagued by insatiable curiousity &mdash attempted to repeat the experiment and were rewarded with a swift nip. Luckily, it was from Miss Gojira Helen Wheels, who has teeth like little rice grains. Ow.

Many thanks to Henry the cat, who featured this on her site, Henry's Travels. A must-visit blog. Especially, need we add, for cat-lovers.

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Politics: Your Tax Dollars At Work

Do you suffer from chronically low blood pressure? Feel dizzy when you stand up or get out of bed too quickly?

Now, there's a cure that doesn't require trips to the (unaffordable) doctor, expensive (unaffordable) medication, or even a (unaffordable) health care plan! Yes, even as the economy, national and personal, swirls around the toilet bowl of the Bush years, you can safely raise your blood pressure while planning &mdash and possibly even ensuring &mdash that tropical vacation you've always longed for! A paradise of fully taxpayer-funded health care and regular meals with plenty of privacy awaits you at Guantanamo Bay!

What, you ask, does this selling of snake oil on our part entail? Simple. Your taxpayer dollars are making it possible for the spy agencies of America to spend lots and lots of time on &mdash MySpace, YouTube, and the blogosphere.
Nice job, huh? Spend the whole day surfing the net, get health care, benes, a pension &mdash all at the expense of the very same people you're (probably) spying on. Let's face it, al Qaeda or some other loony terrorists might smuggle an occasional video clip on to YouTube, or put up a blog or set up a MySpace page, but quite honestly? We think they're way too busy schlepping explosives about, drawing up plans for the next site or person to bomb, putting their recruits through their paces, et cetera ad infinitum ad nauseam.

Mind you, the spy agencies are the same schmucks who want to set up a vast biometrics database that will cost $1 billion in taxpayer dollars (which if each of us got some of that sweet cash, we could afford, oh, maybe a half-caf decaf soy latte)?

"Bigger. Faster. Better. That's the bottom line," said Thomas E. Bush III, assistant director of the FBI's Criminal Justice Information Services Division, which operates the database from its headquarters in the Appalachian foothills.

We just hope this putz is not in any way related to the vast horde of other bushes who have been stealing the American public blind lo these forty years or so.

In the world's first large-scale, scientific study on how well face recognition works in a crowd, the German government this year found that the technology, while promising, was not yet effective enough to allow its use by police. The study was conducted from October 2006 through January at a train station in Mainz, Germany, which draws 23,000 passengers daily. The study found that the technology was able to match travelers' faces against a database of volunteers more than 60 percent of the time during the day, when the lighting was best. But the rate fell to 10 to 20 percent at night.

Nice to know, eh?

Mind you, these are the same dumb schmucks whose failure to cooperate with each other jeopardizes the very taxpayer whose pockets they're vacuuming.

Finally, here's a look at the FBI's IT system. It is to larf.

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2008 Elections: Animal Abuse

What is with all the animal abuse among the Republican party candidates? Time was when you could equally despise politicians of both parties (LBJ, Nixon) for mistreating animals. Now, we've got Rudy's Judy with her cutting live dogs open to demonstrate surgical tools; Mitt the Twit tying the family dog to the top of a station wagon till the poor beast shits himself in terror; and now, Mike Huckabee's own dog-strangling scandal.

According to Dogblog, in 1998, the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette carried a story of how young David "Psycho" Huckabee, together with a fellow Boy Scout, tortured and killed a stray dog. No charges were ever filed against the demented youth, whose father is now running for the office of President. David is the beached whale in the center of the row, back.

Honestly, we at this blog believe Huckabee is a populist rather than a bloodsucking capitalist vampire, which makes him unattractive to the Republican powers that be. Unfortunately, he's also a fundie Christian of the worst kind, who believes women "should graciously submit" to their husbands. Mrs. H looks like she might own a lot of stock in whoever manufactures Xanax. His neanderthal stance on the rights of women, minorities, GLBTQ folk, and his dishonesty about his theology degree leads me to believe that Mr. Huckabee is unsuited to such a high office.

We've had eight years of an incompetent fundie fool in the highest office of the land. We need something better this time around.

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Politics - A Candidate Who Makes Sense

Of all the candidates on the Republican side, there is not one that I think would make a good leader of the nation. Not a nation that has been so deeply and systematically corrupted and destroyed after six years of misadministration.

The candidates on the Democratic side are a little more appealing. However, I don't trust Hillary Clinton, and find her too weaselly to lead a nation. I like Barack Obama but I think he needs to spend more time learning the ropes before he can aim at such a high office. I did not find Richardson impressive. Like Hillary Clinton, he seems too mainstream. But I'll keep an open mind about him. I have nothing but contempt for Biden, Senator CreditCard, the gasbag in love with the sound of his own voice. I like John Edwards a lot. He's smart and savvy and seems to be the most progressive of the lot. But he too has a lot to learn.

Then I saw this video. I have no idea what Gravel's chances are. But he is the most progressive of the voices at the Democratic debate.



What do you think? Give him a listen, and then let me know.

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The Fat Rant

I never heard of Joy Nash before this, but I really like what she has to say here:



Not because I'm fat (which I am, right now), but simply because she makes so much straightforward, clearheaded sense! Fat is a feminist issue, and has been used for years to bludgeon women into silence. But, as Joy says in her video, just because you're fat doesn't mean you get a free pass on everything else that might be wrong with you. Checkidout. Four stars.

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Politics - Rep. Murtha Gives 'Em What For

I really really really like Jack Murtha. He visits the injured servicemen faithfully at Walter Reed, he's in touch with the troops and the war and the whole ugly mess, and he has spoken up repeatedly, at great personal and political cost to himself. I'm sorry that he is not the Majority Leader, because Steny Hoyer hasn't done doodly-squat to end the MessOPotamia. Anyway. Here he lets Congress know what he thinks of the "we're fighting this war" meme.



Found at Raw Story, which got it from BradBlog, which put it up on YouTube.

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