CaturWeen

Yes, I missed Caturday. I went out of town over the week, and was fucking exhausted by the time I got back, not to mention hung-over as fuck-all. And I missed Hallowe'en, too. Just be grateful I didn't see fit to inflict Jesusween* on ya.

* Warning: StephenColbert Alert.

Things are tough all around, no need to dwell on what can't be cured, since it must be endured. La Casa de Los Gatos has never treated the blog as a place to whine about the many misfortunes to which flesh is heir. Suffice it to say that life sucks, and I'm sure yours no less than mine. We resign ourselves to updating our book list with book reviews for the year so far, and film reviews, over at the sisterblog. In the meantime, we stand in solidarity with #Occupy and the Indignados who #Occupy everywhere. Sadly, ex-Marine Scott Olsen was injured when Oakland Mayor Jean Quan decided to loose the police on the harmless Indignados there. We'll be keeping an eye on the #Occupation, but for today, we're weaseling out with this, for your amusement:

Figure out where YOU can #Occupy.

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Black and Jewish

Yeah!

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The Michele BatShitKrayZMann History Channel

OK, disclaimer: this is probably the first time I've ever seen Conan O'Brien. I had no idea who he was till today.

I think I like this guy. He is Teh Funnay.



Enjoy!

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Sing Along With Me, Children

Sweet mother of GAWD, the Republican lineup for the 2012 elections is getting worse by the minute. I'm afraid to laugh as hard as I want to in case I piss myself.

Then along came Ms. Mollybean1 and posted SadnMad's delightful little ditty that sums the motherfuckers up pretty accurately, don'tyathink?



I mean, Christ, look at this pack of dimbulb stooges! The President can just phone it in at this rate, yes?

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Entertainment: It's Satire, Honest!

Which makes it all right. Babble Spice says so, and who are we to argue?

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Sarah Palin Uses a Hand-O-Prompter
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Economy

Oh, Stephen, you fucking kill me, guy.

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Entertainment: Humour

ICHC FT LOL

It's needed.

While wingnuttia is exploding in faux outrage over ACORN "scandals," you know, all mad because people are actually helping tenants to organize and poor homeowners to renegotiate their bank loans and evictions and stuff; and the neocons are screaming about starting YET ANOTHER FUCKING WAR FOR CRISAKE in Iran, conveniently ignoring the fact that General Stanley McChrystal wants half a million fucking troops for fucking Afghanistan, that we don't fucking have; and conveniently ignoring the fact that that big, fat, lardassed war criminal Dick "They Call Me That For A Reason" Cheney is wandering around free, as is Shrubya McWarCriminal; we pause to mop our fevered brow and offer you — bad jokes. They're really bad.

Hey, we need the entertainment.

After an Air Jamaica flight reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain; welcome to Flight 025, non-stop from Kingston to Miami. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and...OH, MY GOD!"

Silence followed.

Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!"

One Jamaican passenger yelled, "You BUMBO Rassclaat eediot!.... you should see de BACK of my trousers!!!!!"

I'm sorry, some Jamaicans will probly find the language offensive, but I just LOLed.



This one's for the geeks among us:

Two missionaries are looking down into a jungle clearing at hundreds of natives gathered around a stone likeness of a huge zero.

They strain to hear what the natives are chanting, and finally make it out: "Nulll, nulll, nulll...".

"My God!" one says quietly to the other. "Is nothing sacred?"

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Entertainment: Make Your Own

Kenyan Birth Certificate!

At Kenyan Birth Certificate Generator dot com

Yay! You can do it too!

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Entertainment: Because You Need It

After that very depressing post on Otty Sanchez.

So witness, if you will, some really interesting buggers taking on that wretched piece of subhuman refuse, John Yoo (author of Dick'nBush's War on Terra torture-justifying memos):




People, when the fuck is this war criminal going to pay for his crimes, goddammit? What a fucking pathetic ambulatory turd — getting his elderly secretary to throw these young men out instead of answering their questions. John, don't you believe in the essential rightness of your arguments for torture? Man up, you ball-less nutsack!

Somebody try the motherfucker, and soon. He has disgraced the Law, his ethnic group, his sex/gender, Boalt Hall, the fine state of California, and the human race, in no particular order.

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World: Iran

For our brothers and sisters in Iran, with love and support!



Enjoy it, if you can, laugh your asses off and remember, we in other countries are watching and hoping and praying for you. It is your fight, and your revolution. Let us all hope that other countries keep their cool as President Barack Obama is keeping his cool. Let us all hope that no one interferes in your internal politics. But remember that whatever we can do to help, there are many of us who will.

Twitter hashtag #IranElection

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Entertainment? Say WHAT?

Okay, c'mon, you all knew about this and have been laughing into your sleeve for weeks. I didn't. I only just heard about it recently. And when I did, I thought, "Oh, no, they didn't say that! It's the surgery, it's the meds, I've GOT to be imagining this, they couldn't possibly have said "tea bagging," could they?"

But yes, it's the Republican Party, after all, AKA the Party of FAIL. And they said "TEA BAGGING!" Yes, they did.

On April 15, patriots like Sean "Butt Boy" Hannity, Flush "Anal Poisoning" Rimbowl, Glenn "Snivel" Beck, and their like will be participating in Teabagging Parties all across the nation. To show us that, uh, well, um, that ... Gay Marriage is Wrong! And, and, and, uh, they're ...

Oh, never mind. Watch this for yourself. And keep the laughter down. You don't want this to go viral.

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2008 Elections: More Entertainment!

Mrs. MeanJeans

This time, it's Veep pick Sairy Failin' who's the target of Teh Funny.

Remember to keep the speakers turned up or your earphones plugged in. Click the cursor whenever you mouse over a hot spot (hint: the cursor turns into a hand rather like McAncient's krabby krustacean klaw).

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2008 Elections: Entertainment!

Just a little over two weeks left. We're down to the wire. And former colleague and friend N (you know who you are) sends this joke:

For your amusement.

Barack Obama is invited to meet with the Pope while he is vacationing in Venice.

The conservative press reluctantly watches the semi-private audience, hoping they will be able to allot minimal coverage, if any.

The Pope asks Senator Obama to join him on a gondola ride through the canals of Venice.

They're admiring the sights and agreeing on moral issues when, all of a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto) blows off his head and out into the water.

The gondolier starts to reach for the Pontiff's cap with his pole, but this move threatens to overturn the floating craft.

Barack waves the tour guide off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take care of this. Don't worry."

He steps off the gondola onto the surface of the water and walks out to the Pope's hat, bends over and picks it up. He walks back across the water to the gondola and steps aboard.

He hands the hat to the Pope amid stunned silence.

The next morning the buzz among Republicans in Congress & on Fox News was like, "Guess what? Have you heard, Obama can't swim!"

Anybody got any more good ones? Send them over!

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2008 Elections: Entertainment!

Sweet Mother of Deity. Did Rich Lowry really say this?



Apparently he did. Mr. Lowry, please don't make us privy to your private sexual fantasies. Is "sat up a little straighter" codespeak for "got a serious erection"? Stolen from none other than Atta J. Turk, purveyor of topical angst.

Bill Maher had a good time putting the Lowry piece in terms we can all understand:



Is it just us, or is Bill Maher really rockin' the house lately? Teh kittehs of La Casa de Los Gatos give this four paws up!

As for the fatwa against Asif Ali Zardari, it comes from the Lal Masjid (Red Mosque), purveyors of some pretty rabid fundie Islamic thought, and we, quite frankly, don't give a shit what those people think, because they're probably the same idiots who come to our blog looking for pictures of naked women doing revolting things. Idiots.

More importantly, Pakistani feminists are infuriated by Zardari's behaviour, which is pretty much on a par with Palin's (winky winky flip yer hair, bump, grind, throw a hip). No wonder those two got along so well. They're made of the same inappropriate, idiotic stock. Palin's bad enough, but we're not interested in trashing her because anyone but the Rich Lowrys jacking off over her can tell that she's seriously inadequate for the position.

Zardari already HAS assumed the position. Of President, we mean. Not the position we'd like him to be assuming. As much as we did not care for Pinkie Bhutto, she was a brilliant woman, a feminist, though hobbled by her culture, her religion, and her political ambitions. But first and foremost she was brilliant. And accomplished. She's barely cold in her grave and already Zardari, that pillar of corruption, Mister Ten Percent himself, is hugging and flirting with some other woman. To the Pakistani feminist movement, we say, kick his ass.

And yo, Todd! What's with your wife and your Christian marriage? The National Enquirer says she's been schtupping your business partner, Oldy McMoldy has his hands all over her, and now she's giving every sexually repressed man on the planet organisms? Geez, dude, are you two married or just hangin' together for Trig?

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Entertainment

Because, lookit, after reading our various diatribes on economics, the economy, politics, and how much shit we're in, you're probably stressed out enough to need some of these two BAD boys:

Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart parody New Yorker's Obama cover

You can see why they totally deserved any fucking Emmys they won, right? The first decade of the 21st century - totally PWND by Colbert/Stewart! No, they'll never run for President, and they shouldn't, because they're entertainers, and mocking politicians and the power structure is what they do best. But they're certainly Pres/Vp of the comedy world, especially in the field of political satire. Read the interview here.

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Entertainment

Okay, we're trying to stick to the issues here but Tina Fey just SO rocks, and SNL after years of being dreadfully unfunny, appears to have got its mojo back and this has GOT to be the funniest skit ever:



The SCARY part is, some of what she's saying is supposedly direct quotes. Shoo!

Also, she's way cuter and sexier than Governor Moose-o-lini. We do love looking at pretty women. Call us looksist.

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Entertainment

Things have been so grim lately that we, as y'all might have noticed, have been doing a lot of posts on Entertainment. Hey, there's a reason they don't let people like us have sharp t'ings and shooty t'ings.

In teh event, Nunya (thepolitickybitch) sent us this, and we larfed. So we share it wit' y'all, and who cares if it's somewhat un-pc.



Robin's got Dumbya's worst flubs memorized, huh?

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Entertainment

Today's LOLcat for your delectation:

From ICHC

Back to reeling from pain meds now. See y'all Caturday!

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2008 Elections: More Entertainment!

Ow, ow, ow. Daily Show's Jon Stewart takes it to the candidates:



Is there anyone else out there who thinks that Sarah Palin's voice sounds like the screeches most people would make if someone took an emery board covered in chilli sauce to their nip-nips?

Because we're, like, ready to pull out our eardrums and set them on fire just so we won't have to listen to that dreadful tinny voice. And what's with this "guys and gals" crap?

Incidentally, PBS is encouraging people to vote on what they think of Madame "Guys and Gals." Do, please, stop by and let them know.

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Entertainment

OK, we don't always approve of stuff from 236.com, but those of you who know us know that La Casa de Los Gatos denizens have a singularly dark sense of humour. C'mon, how many of you signed up for the World Suicide Club? The one that distributed black teeshirts with a yellow/orange mushroom cloud and the charming slogan "It's Gonna Happen"?

Yes? Anybody? Dr. Strangelove? Harold and Maude?

Anywho. Enjoy:

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Science: Debunking Creationist Bullshit

La Casa de Los Gatos is not afraid to call caca de vaca when we see it. And if there's one thing we love more than reading about science in all its varied and delightful fields, it's mocking the idiots who believe a book of stories from some obscure tribe that's over 1,000 years old and translated, passed around, edited, and rewritten in large part, accreting more myths as it stumbles along. In any event, we delight in making fun of creationists, especially "young-earth" or "flat-earth" creationists.

And it is our unmitigated pleasure to share with you all this delightful YouTube snippet, found thanks to a brilliant Digger/friend:



Excoriate them in the politest of language, we say. Throw in Monty Python clips for further amusement. But get your shovels out, folks, because these people are buried in bullshit, and you'll need a spade to dig them out. Oh, and heavy-duty waders.

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