Caturday!

Well! Hasn't this been an exciting week!

• Bishop Willard "Mitt" RomneyCare started the week claiming to have created 100,000 jobs while at vulture corporation Bain Capital, but ended it whimpering something about "6,000 jobs."

• After claiming that Romney won the Iowa state caucus, the GOP had to reverse itself and announce that Santorum actually won (Headline: Santorum easily slides ahead?)

• Jon Huntsman (who? Oh, c'mon! You know! The guy who was polling at 1% or lower but the media still insisted he was in the race, even while refusing to let Buddy Roemer or Gary Johnson speak!) finally took his two million dollars worth of dental work and three hot daughters out of the public eye by announcing that he's dropping out of the race.

  In a slap-in-the-face to all the "liberals" who love him (because the Republicans/conservatives hate his motorcycling ass with a passion), he endorsed Bishop Willard. WTF, Jon? Y U treat us so bad, after telling us that schmuck was unelectable? Did the Temple Leaders threaten to take away your planet, or what?

• Rick Purreh finally took pity on a suffering America and took his moronic undereducated dumber-than-the-last-Texas-hick ass back to N*****head Ranch where I guess he's keeping the local coyotes in fear for their lives and asking God "Why? Why me, Lord?" as he weeps incoherently into his bourbon-and-branch.

  Whom did he endorse? None other than "amoral jewelry-debt piglet"* Newt Gingrich, the man with the plan for trinkets from Tiffany's.

• Meanwhile, the Godbag Faction of the Republican Party met last Sunday to anoint Santorum as their Chosen.

  No, not with santorum, you sick little puppies. In any event, those Fuckus on The Fambly turds, those Christianist Bible-bashers and homo-haters and misogynistic morons of Rightwingnuttia decided that their Not-MittRomney candidate would be Rick Santorum. These assholes were totes backing (P)Rick Perry just last week, so, talk about pivoting on a dime here. Faithless sluts.

• Perennial punching bag and media slut-moron Sarah Palin apparently has lost even more of her brain to whatever deadly disease was making her spew word salad.

  After being informed that Newt's second wife, Marianne Gingrich, would be interviewed by ABC right after the South Carolina Republican debates, Babble Spice snorted that this would help Gingrich soar. Puzzled media bobbleheads have finally figured out that she meant Newt's amoral and perverse sexual shenanigans might have left him a little *sore,* or something. **

• Over in Wisconsin, the Recall Walker campaign announced that it had received more (lotsmore) signatures than the minimum required to achieve their aim. Down, down, down goes Snotty Wanker, erstwhile governor of Wisconsin and rent-boy for the Koch Bros.

So, what's the deal, Republicans? Are y'all just tired of being a party, or what? Because this is some pretty weak fucking sauce, here, jes' sayin. I know we here at La Casa de Los Gatos have been saying for a while that President O could just cold phone it in, but, man? Do y'all have to make it so EASY for him? Y'all spent six years telling us he was a weak-ass n*****, a compromiser who caved on everything and apologised to everyone and bowed to foreign leaders and was morally weak. Meanwhile, he's been kicking y'alls asses nine ways to Sunday every day of the week.

I have heard Republicans telling me for six years or more about the fight against terrorism and how y'all are going to follow bin Laden to the gates of hell, and y'all know where he is and will take him out but only if we elect you (WTF? Treason much?). So, do we wanna talk about who might actually have taken bin Laden out? Because, you know, I don't remember that Republican President we had before Mr. Obama, you know, the one that NOBODY seems to want to talk about, I mean, they're *still* talking about Clinton and Carter, but you know, that guy, seems like everyone's done gone and forgotten about him, when he said he didn't care about bin Laden any more, and he disbanded the task force that was supposed to be looking for bin Laden, I don't recall ONE SINGLE Republican saying anything then. Not one word about following him to hell, or they will pay, or none of that shit. No, sir. None a that shit. And now Mr. Obama, he took out that Mr. bin Laden, and he took out that Mr. al-Zawahiri and he took out a whole bunch of these here, what the Republicans was calling "terrorists," round about ten years ago. He took them all out. And what do you suppose our fine Republican friends did about that? Did they say "Thank you, Mr. Obama"? Did they say "Thank you Mr. President, for keeping our country safe"? No, sirree, they did not. They said he illegally invaded a sovereign nation. These people, who had no problem with the US invading the sovereign nation of Iraq, which was NOT involved in any attacks against us, got all upset because Mr. Obama had to send a surgical strike team to take out the man who masterminded the most recent attack on American soil, who was being sheltered on Pakistani territory, by our "allies." Imagine that. Did you think you'd live to see the day when a bunch of "America, right or wrong! America, love it or leave it!" assholes would be more upset about the rights of those who shelter our enemies than about our right to pursue those enemies who kill our citizens?

And when he's not the Caveman-in-chief, he's supposed to be some kind of Superman who is singlehandedly preventing yon teabaggers from getting anything done while shoving unpopular measures down the collective throat of the American people. He's a Marxist, a Stalinist, a Fascist, and an Islamist, he controls the courts (which, nevertheless, stubbornly refuse to rule in his favour on certain issues, why, no one can say). He's using mind control techniques to hypnotize the weak willed sheep who are cowed by his bullish tactics even as they are seduced by the pork he proffers. Geez, no wonder we're obese. Half our metaphors are about spectator sports and the other half about food. Oh, NOEZ!! He's forcing states to take care of sick people, disabled people, poor people, babies and children who might be hungry, starving people, old people! How AWFUL!

What the FUCK kind of world are we living in where these nutbags can turn reality into something resembling sausage, i.e., chopped up, mixed up, and stuffed up a pig's anus? Seriously. There is a styful of pigs on the Republican side of this election. Fortunately, it's thinning. Still, the choices fucking suck.

So it's off to Florida for Mittens and Newt and Rick Santorum and Ron Paul, while the rest of America stabs itself in the eye with a fork over and over and over, just to dull the pain.

Happy Caturday, y'all!

* Forever indebted to Kirsten Boyd Johnston of Wonkette for the so-fitting sobriquet of "amoral jewelry-debt piglet" for Newtie.
** Apparently, Bobblehead Barbie was correct, and them South Carolinians just LERVE them some amoral pigfuckery of the adulterous, wife-dumping, intern-humping, vow-breaking Nouveau Papist variety. Newt Gingrich just won South Carolina.

Stumble It!

Attack Of The Killer Slimeballs

It's here at last! The war of the Horrible Wealthy Old White Male Republicans that will culminate in the re-election of Barack H. Obama in about ten months. And firing the opening shots is none other than everybody's favourite lard-assed pasty cannonball, Newton Leroy GinGrinch, aiming to take down Bishop Willard "Magic Underwear Mitt" Romney.

Check it out. Very nicely done, no?

Whaddya think? Can Mittens survive this? And the Bain Capital attacks?

Stumble It!

For All Our Irish Friends

Wherever they may be:

Our very own part-Irish President goes HOME to claim his heritage! President O'Bama, whose ancestors come from all over our world and whose relatives live in every part of it.

Stumble It!

Mission Accomplished!

We know y'all heard the news last night. Our President announced on the national media that bin Laden had been "taken out" in a surgical strike designed to inflict minimum "collateral damage."

Al Jazeera has the photos if you can stand to see 'em. Bit, uh, strong, so be warned. There was a lot of spontaneous cheering and people waving flags and what-all. Folks gathered around the White House, singing the National Anthem. Firefighters of the NYFD celebrating in Times Square. Cadets at West Point raising such a ruckus, the sleeping inhabitants of nearby areas came awake.

And of course, the media today is full of it. And we mean that in the politest way. No, of course we don't. But we're calling a moratorium on the insults for the nonce. Might as well just sit back and admit that, since the attack on the Twin Towers, we here at La Casa de Los Gatos have been twitchy and oppressed, even if we didn't know it.

The first reaction at the ol' Cathouse was shock. The second was a tremendous sense of relief, as if an invisible hand around one's neck had finally loosed its grip. The third was exultation. But that only lasted a short while. It is unseemly to celebrate death, no matter whose. We are grateful the symbolic scourge is gone, but the sight of people singing and celebrating, regardless of whether they are mujahideen or American civilians, is a little ... unsettling. But we're not going to rain on anyone else's parade. Y'all do what it takes, friends. Just remember to say "Thank you, Mr. President!" over at whitehouse.gov.

And now, for a little light relief. Here's George Dubya Bush's reaction when HE got the news:



Yeeeeeee-HAW!

Stumble It!

The President Rocks The Audience

Live from the White House Correspondents' Dinner:



Contrasting this with Bush's last appearance, I can't help thinking how innately decent and fair our President is. Yes, he had fun tweaking a few people, but no one who didn't deserve it. Most important of all, he called for remembrance of our troops -- the Republicans pay a LOT of lip service to that, but they're the ones who keep cutting the VA budget and freezing the ordinary soldier's wage, and refusing to regulate the payday lenders who are driving our troops' families into foreclosure.

More touching was his call to remember those devastated by the storms that have struck the Southern states. Those red states are a hotbed of teabagger KrayZ. He didn't have to say word one about them. But, unlike Bush, who never mentioned Katrina after it happened except to complain that Kanye West dissed him, our President called for a show of kindness and help to those who hate and disrespect him with every breath.

Thank you, Mr. President. Here's looking forward to another five years with you at the helm.

Stumble It!

The S_Trump_et Whores On

We mean, of course, The Donald. Or should that read "whoreson"?

Today, our President, Barack Hussein Obama, released the long form of his birth certificate.

Ordinarily,this form is not available for viewing except to those having a personal interest in it — which is to say, the person whose birth it records or other immediate family members. Hawai'i's privacy laws also do not permit the State to release the original copy to anyone. The President requested a waiver of such laws in order to release this piece of paper.

No other President — nor even any nominee for the office — has ever been required to prove their citizenship. So let's be perfectly straightforward and clear about this whole brouhaha. Had President Obama been white, the question would never even have arisen. On what grounds do I assert this? These:

• John McCain was never asked to produce his documents, despite the fact that he was NOT born in the US;
  

  
  

• Birfers are trying to change state and Federal laws — and possibly even the Constitution — to take away the right to citizenship jus soli, i.e., by virtue of having been born on US soil. They are also trying to alter the right to citizenship jus sanguinis, i.e., by right of blood. Currently, the Constitution recognizes both conditions as conferring citizenship. "Birther bills" on the State level actually require potential nominees to have *both* parents born on US soil. The fact that this would exclude Mitt Romney (whose father was born in Mexico) and Donald Trump (whose mother was born in Scotland) hasn't yet penetrated their crania, I suppose.
  

  
  

• These are the same people who, when Arnold Schwartzenegger the foreign-born brainless Austrian bodybuilder was making his stab at power, were willing to amend the Constitution to allow him to run for President. Yet they're not willing to accept the mixed-race child of a white American mother as a "real American" without making him leap through hoops despite what their OWN FUCKING LAWS SAY.

I'm furious and disgusted with the media's complicity in all this. With their endless bullshit, their boob job coverage, their fertility stories, their Royal wedding coverage, their bullshit about the teabaggers who can barely get 300 people to show up for most events, their refusal to cover the 100,000 who marched in Wisconsin. I'm sick of it. So I found this video on Crooks&Liars, which I cannot recommend highly enough. Please to watch. And then please spread the word. Because he's absolutely correct, every word of it.

Contact NBC and let them know what you think. They really need to hear from people.

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"Americans": Not the Center of the Universe

Dharapak/AP

It is true that I, Ms. Manitoba, was born on the prairies of Manitoba. Canada. I am a naturalized citizen of the United States.

Some folks think Canadians are just like "Americans" -- we're not. Especially French Canadians -- Quebeçois, Manitobain, Ontarois etc. Look again. Look deeper. (And ... maybe ... dare I say it? Maybe, travel a bit.) For one thing, we put "Americans" in quotes because we remember that there are many Americans -- not just the ones that live in the United States. Canadians believe that they are Americans too -- North Americans. We don't imperialize the name.

And when we see President Obama bow to Emperor Akihito we don't get our undies in a bunch.

For example:

"Treasonous"; "Idiot-in-chief"; "Shocking display of fealty to a foreign potentate"; "How low will he go?"; "Undignified,"; "A first-year English teacher trying to impress with Karate Kid-level knowledge of Japanese custom," were among the harsh headlines and comments in the American press and the blogosphere on the president's bow.

[from an article in online version of The Nation]

"Americans" need to understand that they are no longer (never were) the center of the universe.

Please read this wonderful article -- "More Important Things to Worry About" -- from the online version of The Nation.

And, if you'd like to find out more about the really important stuff, listen to today's interview with Orville Schell on Terry Gross's Fresh Air radio program.

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Meta! I'm Back, Dammit!

From ICHC, of course

Yeah, they don't tell you till afterwards that knee replacement surgery is the most painful kind of surgery you can have. Although, if they'd told me beforehand, as they did afterwards, I probly would still be running, bum leg or no bum leg. Other things they don't tell you: Knee injury hastens the deterioration of hyaline cartilage around the bum joint, and that stuff don't grow back. People who seriously injure their knees during their wild and wicked yoof will pay and pay and pay for the rest of their lives with decreasing mobility and pain. All those young football stars who get sent to the chopping block? They're demanding million-dollar salaries because when they go in for the first replacement, that's pretty much the end of it. Of course, we're trained to bay at the obscene amounts they make and roll over for teh belly rub when a banker takes home $10 mil in bonus plus whatever obscene amount they make each year every year for fifty years or more in the workforce, but hey.

You goddamned losers gotta stop envying the rich for being rich, says the WSJ, wiping a tear from its greedy eye with teh Hanky of Opportunism. Gads, a one-legged ass-kicking's on the menu for the lot of those sodding bastids, don't you think?

Today's heart-lightening theft from YouTube shows that President Obama has two working legs and is not afraid to use them to kick a little deserving butt. And when has any behind seemed more deserving?



Blogging light but determined. Heavy drugs in the mornings, scattered wiseass remarks throughout the day. Storms of rabid language predicted, also Banker Pinatas as a way of stimulating teh economy.

Yeah, I'm glad to be back. Nothing like telling the fecking sods what it is while your leg is stretched by an inquisitorial torture device of sorts (what the FECK is this, anyway?).

The Terrible Saga will grace these pages forthwith. And terrible it was, in the stinky sort of way that week-old corpses and hospital tales tend to be.

Stumble It!

CANADIANS LOVE OBAMA!!!

President Obama is welcomed to Canada by Governor General Michaelle Jean and a contingent of Royal Canadian Mounted Police. (White House/Pete Souza)

Dear Readers, it warmed the cockles of my heart to see those photographs of our president visiting the land of my birth -- Canada. And when I saw the photo of the Royal Canadian Mounties saluting President Obama and Governor General Michaelle Jean -- and they looked genuinely happy to meet and talk with each other -- it did bring tears to these 59-year old eyes.

Here’s an excerpt from an article in the Toronto Star:

OTTAWA – The first black president of the United States and Canada's first black Governor General knew theirs was a historic encounter – and they appeared to revel in it from the moment they met Thursday.

Gov. Gen. Michaelle Jean was the first of a handful of Canadian dignitaries to greet Barack Obama as he stepped off Air Force One onto Canadian soil for the first time as U.S. president.

"You would never have imagined that you and I could both be here like today, coming from African descent," Jean was quoted as telling the president as they began what insiders described as "soft and warm" exchange.

A Jean aide said the poignancy of the moment was not lost on either of them and may have given the pair "a form of added connection."

The two held an animated conversation on the tarmac that went beyond the formal dictates of protocol before the president was introduced to the other dignitaries, including Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon and Canada's ambassador to the United States, Michael Wilson.

An Obama quip had Jean leaning back, laughing and throwing an arm around the president's back as they strode side-by-side into the reception centre for a private chat.

Jean's spokeswoman Marthe Blouin said "at that moment she was telling him that she felt it was like a love affair between him and Canadians."

"He said to her that he knew that, that he'd been informed that he was very popular in Canada. Then he joked and he added, 'Well, it's good to know because if things do not go well for me in the States, I know I can come to Canada.'

Vive la différence!!!

Was there such warmth during Bush’s visits?

Ah ... you forget too soon:

A top aide to Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien resigned on Tuesday after nearly a week of political tension over a remark she reportedly made about the president of the United States being a "moron".

Françoise Ducros, my hero.

Back a year ago, Ms. Manitoba wrote in this here blog about why she supported Obama and what she thought would happen if he got elected:

• this may be one of the most important things ... his election will say something very important to the rest of the world - “We want change and did not agree with the policies that came before. We did not agree with the arrogant attitudes that came before. We want to be a true citizen of the world and not a bully.”
  

'nuff said.

Here are some more photos ...

U.S President Barack Obama (left) and Canadian Governor General Michaelle Jean walk across the tarmac following his arrival in Ottawa, Thursday Feb. 19, 2009. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick

4 year-old Benjamin Faulkner holds a sign as the U.S President Barack Obama drives past a goup waiting to catch a glimpse of his limo on Colonel By Drive in Ottawa on the Rideau Canal Thursday morning in preparation of U.S President Barack Obama visit to talk with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper Feb 19, 2009 in Ottawa. (ANDRE FORGET / SUN MEDIA)

Supporters of U.S. President Barack Obama wave as his motorcade arrives Parliament Hill, in Ottawa, Thursday, Feb. 19, 2009, to meet with Prime Minister Stephen Harper on his first foreign trip as president. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Graham Hughes

Supporters of U.S. President Barack Obama stand next to a snowman on Parliament Hill, in Ottawa, Thursday, Feb., 19, 2009. President Barack Obama will meet with Prime Minister Stephen Harper in his first foreign trip as President. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Graham Hughes

Merlin Cain, from Toronto, awaits the arrival of U.S. President Barack Obama, on Parliament Hill, in Ottawa, Thursday, Feb. 19, 2009. President Barack Obama will meet with Prime Minister Stephen Harper in his first foreign trip as President. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Graham Hughes

Stumble It!

Economy: Well, That Didn't Take Long

Today's NYT is reporting* that Wall Street brokers are fighting to retain their $18 billion worth of bonuses and, oh yes, they hate President Obama. Srsly.

“My bonus is ‘shameful’ — but I worked hard to get it,” said John Konstantinidis, a wholesale insurance broker, lunching Friday at Harry’s at Hanover Square.

[...] however [...] President Obama is substantially less popular on Wall Street this week than he was last week.

No! Really? I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked. He must be doing something right.

As one investment banker interviewed for the article said,

“I think there’s a disconnect between Wall Street and Main Street.”

No shit, Sherlock. And how did you come to this amazing conclusion exactly? Was it by checking the increasing numbers showing up at soup kitchens? Or did you read about the number of Americans on food stamps increasing? Or the job statistics, which are showing rising unemployment rates coupled with increasing layoffs?

Somehow I suspect these shitheads who yawp about how they're owed their bonuses haven't yet realized that if that money came from taxpayers, then they'd better start suing their employers to get them to disgorge their profits, because they ain't fucking getting it out of us, I can tell you that.

You hear me, motherfuckers? There's only so much blood you can squeeze out of a stone, assholes. You're responsible for creating these toxic securities, these financial instruments that are basically a piece of shit wrapped in gilt paper. You thought if you sold enough of these your employers would reward you and life would be fine? Well, go ask your employers, your corporate CEOs, to fish into their deep pockets to reimburse you, because the rest of us are too busy scraping off our homes and bodies the poisonous mold that you threw at us all.

The utter gall of these people is unimaginable. This reminds me of an old friend's definition of chutzpah: When a man comes to your house, shits on your doorstep, then rings your doorbell and asks you for water to wash his ass.

If I had a pair of uber-longtoed cowboy boots, I'd be sticking the tips up each and every one of your fat asses, you greasy pate-fed champagne-swilling profiteers. Each and every one of you needs to be "employed" by the taxpayers at the noble and necessary task of breaking big rocks into little rocks. Or, better yet, repairing our antiquated sewage systems. Goodness knows you ought to feel right at home doing that. Sure, it might temporarily ruin the $100.00 manicure jobs y'all are used to getting. But a few honest calluses from hard labour never killed anyone.

OTOH, maybe we can send you to Iraq and Afghanistan to take the place of all those poor and working-class kids who've been getting their individual pubes shot off by the victims of our "war on Terra." Surely we can rustle up, I dunno, 65,000 of you? The infuriated Iraqi and Afghani insurgents will be doing the rest of us a great favour if they can fertilize their dry and hungry fields with a few of you. Y'all might just have an opportunity to make the deserts bloom. What a legacy!

In the meantime, assholes, try to find a better line of work. The economy don't look like it can support too many of you for too much longer.

* This link takes you to the New York Times' article. Registration is required, but it's free. Make what you will of that.

Bonus anecdote: While getting the old fangs sharpened and cleaned, I engaged in what is commonly known as "small talk" with teh toof lady. It's not something I have a whole lot of experience with, especially since you can't talk too much with all that metal in the gob. Try boiling down how you feel about the financial situation into a grunted phrase of six words or less. Get my drift?

In any event, she told me a supposedly heartbreaking story about some rich bitch she knows from her church, whose husband is a stockbroker. Apparently, the couple owned a hugely expensive house in a hugely expensive gated community in our very expensive tiny slice of Terra. Which is now being foreclosed on anaconda HubbyPoo lost his lucrative job and can't find another one, and WifeyPoo has never worked a day in her well-manicured life.

Teh Toof Lady was full of sympathy for this unfortunate couple (hah) for whom she claims the whole fucking church is praying. Call me a blackguard, but I couldn't rouse a drop of the required sympathy. All I could think of was, "Hey, the guy is fucking gambling with other people's money for a living, shouldn't he know enough about money to put away a nice comfortable wad? Didn't he see this recession coming?" Whatever. I'm sure the Richie Riches will have parental units to glom on. They'll survive, with a little help from their friends. The rest of us — get used to a diet of rice and beans, kiddies, that's a mighty long tunnel and the light at the end of it is but a faint beam from where I'm standing.



Bonus bonus: A Senator to keep an eye on: Claire McCaskill. How's this for telling it like it is?

Sen. Claire McCaskill — steaming mad and not going to take it anymore — on Friday called Wall Street executives “idiots” and proposed limits on some of their salaries.

Her proposal would force companies taking federal bailout money to limit compensation for any employee to what the president of the United States currently earns: $400,000 a year.

“Is that so unreasonable?” the Democrat from Missouri asked. “It’s eight times the median household income in the United States of America. … I don’t think that sounds like a bad deal.”

[...]

The compensation cap would cover salary, bonuses and stock options.

No foolin', ma'am. Pardon me while I fall in love with you.

Natcherly, to no one's surprise, professional ghoul impersonator and public cross-dresser (honey, no fishnets, please. You just ain't got teh gams for dem.) Rude Ghouliani came to the defense of excessive compensation everywhere with the following statement:

“If you somehow take that bonus out of the economy, it really will create unemployment,” Giuliani said on CNN. “It means less spending in restaurants, less spending in department stores, so everything has an impact.”

Rudi, you dumb fuck, you're really going to try and convince us that these people who make $22 million in bonuses alone do their shopping in Target and Macy's? Give it a rest, you miserable fuckwit, the American public is NOT that dumb. We rejected YOU as potential President, remember?

Sheesh, where does that lying sack of shit get off with lines like this?

Stumble It!

Economy: My President Don't Mess Around

What a difference an election makes! Remember back when Hope Steffey was assaulted by the very police that she called for help, and we at this fine blog opined that when our leaders refuse to obey the law of the land, every small-minded fool in the country goes along?

Gee Dumbya and his Bush-league myrmidons felt perfectly justified in crapping on the constitution and wiping their collective tush on it, and that behaviour percolated down through the ranks with every ha'penny-two-penn'orth of crookdom and liarment leaping on the old bandwagon headed straight to hell.

They raided the treasury and shat all over the middle class and the working poor. They took trillions of dollars of our money and disappeared it through various hidey-holes. One memorable example would be the airdrop of some US$12 BILLION in cash over the war zone of Baghdad, back in 2007 before ethnic cleansing rendered the city reasonably "safe" for those who might want to, I don't know, run around with fistfuls of US dollars. You know, like us working people who've been screwed so hard and for so long, we're just walking bags of lube.

We don't even need to mention Halliburton's endless run of no-bid government contracts and obscene profits, or KBR's repeated attempts to electrocute the whole fucking US army in Iraq while billing us taxpayers (yes, that would include those of us unfortunate enough to be serving at the time) in the hundreds of thousands for their "services." There is some hellish level of irony involved in knowing that you and your family and everyone who loves, or even just likes, you is paying through the nose to have you killed, yaknow?

So when those evil motherfuckers raised the whole notion of TARP (the Troubled Assets Relief Program), there was much muttering on the part of residents and friends of La Casa de Los Gatos. I mean, hey, Bush has fucked up EVERYTHING nine ways to Sunday, yaknow? You could give that man a nice cold popsicle and instead of enjoying it, he'd put his eye out with it. Or, more likely, yours. Or even the whole nation's.

Dumbya vs. Pretzel, Pretzel Wins

I mean, have you ever in your life BB (Before Bush) heard of anyone getting beat up by a pretzel? Yet there was the man, our (thankfully very) ex-Preznitwit, showing up with bruises and what-all anaconda he nearly lost a battle with an edible treat. Geesh, Christ fucking Criminy. That's gotta take a little work, yeah?

For the record, I myself was for the bailout. I judged, based on my minimal understanding of economics and the economy, that frozen commercial paper was very very bad indeed, in terms of the collapse of the market. I just didn't want to see the Bushleague vultures administering it. I mean, Hank Paulson? He looks even more like Skeletor than Michael Chertoff. Where do they find these assholes? Every single one of the Bush appointees looked like they had recently escaped the pages of some really bad comic about Evil Men. Evil, and let me quickly add, incompetent men.

My fellow-bloggers, to give them their due, were against the bailout. I put it down to their naivete (though not to their faces, I'm not dumb enough to invite that kind of ass-kicking).

Later on down the line, we find (Surprise! NOT!) that the League of Incompetent EvilMen actually threatened our elected congresscritters with martial law if they didn't approve the bailout of Wall Street and its legions of fat, slobbering, greedy bankers. Pig man, pig man.

They put all that money — a trillion dollars or more — in the paws of that James-Bond-style bald villain, Henry Paulson. Who promptly spread as much of it as he could among his friends on Wall Street. I know. You're simply shocked. Scandalized. Nobody could have foreseen, yada yada yada. See Danny Schechter for details.


It was only by the great good luck of President Obama winning the election that we were spared further assault upon our collective economic anatomy, you know, the kind of butt-reaming we've had for the past eight years.

So, Bush and his minions managed to distribute more than two-thirds of the bailout they requested before President Obama ever even took office, and Paulson was trying to get his greedy mitts on the remainder before the new brooms came in to sweep the People's Houses clean of his and his cronies' corruption. All that money went to Wall Street, mind you.

And what, exactly, did Wall Street do with that vast handout? Did they try to clean up those toxic securities, did they propose any plan to limit the damages for which they were responsible, the toppling of the entire world's economy due to their Credit Default Swaps, instruments so toxic that no one has yet been able to assign to them a value? Huh? Did they?

Fuck, no. Lemme tellya, I put off taking my pain meds today (yes, I AM in screaming agony, however did you guess?) because I wanted to feel the rage, the burning pit of fire in my gut that makes me want to singlehandedly garrote the entire bunch of bloodsuckers. Fortunately, my leg no work, so I couldn't even get within shoe-throwing distance of these motherfuckers, plus, you know, I'm kinda a foodie, and frankly prison food is the shits, and I might not even have access to a computer, and THEN how would I get rid of my frustration? Eh?

Wanna take a guess what they did with that money? Huh? Even as hundreds of thousands of people are getting the rigid digit in terms of getting laid off their jobs or taking pay cuts or having their company plain old fold beneath them, cutting them off from health insurance, an income, and possibly the roof over their heads? Yeah? Take a guess.


Yup, that's right. They handed it out in bonuses. To the same fucking villains who laid off all their workers and "downsized" their employees and "reorged" to secure current profit margins, and — worst of all — who created this whole fucking mess in the first place with their abominable greed. Yes. Wall Street paid out bonuses to the executives who threw us all in the pit wherein is much wailing and gnashing of those teeth as we have left. $18.4 billion dollars in bonuses.

The state comptroller, Thomas P. DiNapoli, said it was unclear if banks had used taxpayer money for the bonuses, a possibility that strikes corporate governance experts, and indeed many ordinary Americans, as outrageous. He urged the Obama administration to examine the issue closely.

To add insult to injury (hey, mere bleeding is never enough for these guys. They have to indulge in a little haruspication or, better yet, anthropomancy) these same mother-and-father-fuckers had the gall — the unmitigated gall! — to take our money, we the working people who support the economy, and attempt to screw us over by defeating bills that might benefit labour. As JerseyJo might say, "If yer gonna screw me, at least kiss me first, or bring the lube, or something."

Three days after receiving $25 billion in federal bailout funds, Bank of America Corp. hosted a conference call with conservative activists and business officials to organize opposition to the U.S. labor community's top legislative priority.

The level of chutzpah demonstrated here is, is, is ... ARGH!! WHAT?!? Not only are they screwing us without lube or protection, they're using our own dick to do it!

Thank TPTB for our new President. Because, lemme tell ya, he's been doing some major buttkicking already, in case you missed it. Oh, yes. You don't have to tell this man a thing. He's been working around the clock since the day after he got elected, bar two very short "vacations," laying the groundwork to keep us from falling any deeper into the pit that Shrub Dumbwit et al have dug for us.


And he does not mess around. A lot of people mistake his calm demeanor for evidence that he's a pushover, that he's soft, and won't stand up to them. I see him more as a guy who likes to get stuff done with minimum fuss and pother. He requested, and received some $820 billion that he has pledged to use to benefit working people, help homeowners stay in their homes, and create jobs.

Thus, when he found out that Citibank was dicking around with consumer funds to buy themselves a brand-new $50 million corporate jet, our President put the kibosh on those mofos so fast, their heads are still spinning.

The jet, the epitome of corporate prestige and privilege, can carry 12 passengers in elegant comfort.

ABC News has learned that on Monday officials of the Obama administration called Citigroup about the company's new $50 million corporate jet and told execs to "fix it."

And then, just because these moronic assholes are so bred-in-the-bone greedy, The Man had to take to the airwaves to kick some more ass publicly, because you just know some dumb motherfucker was going to try something similar a couple of days later.

Shameful, he called it. Irresponsible. Outrageous. Appalling. When was the last time you remember corporate greed being called on the carpet? These assholes would happily wring the last drop of blood out of your dying child so they can spend it on hookers and champagne. Go ahead. Click this link and listen to your new President tell 'em.

Meanwhile, your Congresscritters of the Republican persuasion, who lined up to publicly fellate Gee Dumbya and their corporate masters on Wall Street over the multibillion dollar giveaway of our money, are all knicker-wadded that President Obama is actually going to take some of that money to help working people and homeowners.

After insisting on packing the final bill with various porklike tax cuts for their business buddies, they all ran away screaming with their underwear over their heads. Not a single one of those pathetic weenie bastards voted for the money to create new jobs, the money to keep working people in their homes, the money to give quick relief to the non-billionaires among us. Not fucking one. From teh article:

Complicating matters is a feeling among some conservatives they squandered their reputation for being careful with public finances under President George W. Bush, Obama's predecessor for eight years that ended on January 20.

No shit, people. That finally dawned on you guys, huh? That you had broken the locks on the bank doors and basically run naked through the streets throwing fistfuls of dollars at any friend or relative you could spot?

And, to provide further merriment:

A new Diageo-Hotline Poll finds that 66 percent of Americans, when provided with specific details, support the current proposed stimulus package.

That's gotta hurt, huh, Mitch "Closet Queeniest of teh Queens" McConnell, John "Yes, I'm Named After a Naughty Body Part" Bo(eh)ner.

Finally, to prove that they can't get anything right, the Repugnicans have put out their own "alternative" economy-stimulating bill. That's right. Only problem is, it raises taxes for a whole lotta soon-to-be-very-angry Americans. Yes, sirree, bob. Y'all know that AMT thingamahoochie that had so many hardworking taxpayers' shorts in a big old knot? The "alternative" bill isn't gonna change nothing for those guys 'n gals. Let the shrieking begin!


Jesus fucking J.H. Christ and his black brother Harry, ya dimwits, can't you even get something this simple right? It's not like ya can't pay other people to crunch the numbers for ya, just in case yer all from the "Math is Hard" school of taxpayer-screwing, yaknow.

Something tells me the Rethugs will be a regional party for a long time to come. Not that this means y'all should relax your efforts to ensure an ignominous end for them or anything. We've all seen that they can lie, cheat, and steal their way out of anything. So go right ahead and mash them into obscurity. Let there come a day when nobody remembers the word "Republican," unless it's in one of those Dan-Savage-style definitions, like, yaknow, Saddlebacking. (Google it.)

More good news: Senator Chris Dodd has announced that, as chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, he's going to do what he can to confiscate bonuses paid out on Wall Street. Write the man a nice letter, wouldja? I've always liked him. I know, I know, "some say" he benefited from his position, but I looked at the issue and he really didn't get anything more than any savvy consumer with some knowledge about the banking/mortgage industry would. Really. Plus, you want him to do this, right? So. Give the man a little love.

This is the kind of trickle-down I like to see. The man at the top says, "No, you're not doing that shit on my watch," and the people down the line say, "Hey, yeah, while we're at it, how about that stuff y'all stole last month? Give it back." And like dat. Srsly.

Now, Andrew Cuomo, NY AG, is going after Merrill Lynch and BofA to disgorge those "surprise" bonuses John Thain of Merrill Lynch paid out early to his minions after securing government financing for a takeover by BofA.

“No longer will this country stand for wasteful spending of tax dollars on bonuses for executives whose companies have taken huge losses and required taxpayer bailouts,” Cuomo said today in a statement about bonuses paid at Wall Street firms that received funds from the Troubled Asset Relief Program or TARP.

Well, hallelujah, motherfuckers, welcome to the Greased Pole of Impalement. I wanna hear what you sad sagging sacks of shit have to say about your shenanigans. Stand up in front of the people who are struggling to afford a roof over their children's heads and tell them why you thought it was OK to take $18 billion of their money for your bonuses.

Let's start with John Thain, who earned a salary of $750K and a cash bonus of $15 million in 2007. Satan only knows what the motherfucker earned in 2008, may his nuts fall off and be stolen by a squirrel.

Don't fuck with MY PRESIDENT, boys, he's been to the rodeo! Time for some pain meds followed by meditative drooling now. Feel free to tell me what you think.

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OBAMA: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!

Just in case you might have doubts in your mind, we here at The Political Cat are sooooooooo excited about President-Elect Obama's inauguration.

WE ARE SO HAPPY!!!!!! CHANGE IS COMING!!!!!!

Our tired weary souls have been so looking forward to this ... for eight god-forsaken years.

Here's a video from The Huffington Post ...

Bless you, Obamas.

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The President-Elect's Admistration: Photos

Wanna get to know some of President-Elect Obama's staff? The New York Times has a wonderful collection of portraits taken recently. To see them, go here.

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World: Counting the Dead in Mumbai

Amiran White/NYT

Raw Story is reporting that 195 people lost their lives in the attacks on Mumbai, the financial and showbiz heart of India. The number includes 26 foreigners and 15 of the security forces who fought them. Eleven terrorists were also killed, and one terrorist, a Pakistani national, is in custody.

The Times of India is reporting that the captured terrorist has told his police interrogators that the terrorists received assistance from locals in Mumbai. Given the extreme carnage and destruction in Mumbai carried out by a mere dozen terrorists, it is possible that a significant number of terrorists got away and blended in to the local population. Sources among the survivors have claimed that the terrorists appeared to be quite familiar with the layout of the hotels they took over. However, survivors of violent incidents are not the most reliable source of evidence.

Also, given interrogation methods favoured by the Indian police, it is quite possible that the suspect in custody is telling them whatever he thinks they want to hear. Other things the suspect, the unfortunate Azam Amir Kasab, has told the police: The terrorists' specific mission was to target Israelis to avenge atrocities on Palestinians.

This is why, he claims, they attacked Nariman House. Times of India's sources said Kasab's colleagues killed in the operation had stayed in Nariman House earlier. Interesting. How would Muslims be able to rent in Nariman House, a building owned by an Israeli businessman who rented only to Jews?

Also, the dead terrorists who had previously stayed at Nariman House assumed the identities of Malaysian students. Does this mean that Malaysians are involved? Or is the guy just saying whatever comes to mind?

Meanwhile, the Independent reported on Friday that two of the arrested gunmen appear to have been Britons of Pakistani descent. Since there is only one gunman in custody, it is clear that some sort of misunderstanding occurred. Moreover, the unfortunate Kasab has given the names of all his colleagues at this point and claimed that they are all from Pakistan (although that claim may embrace a multitude of sins, given that many individuals who are Pakistani or Indian or Chinese by ethnicity but citizens of the U.S., UK, or any other nation, often make trips to the old country to visit friends or relatives, or merely to ascertain their cultural roots.

The foreigners killed appear to have come from various nations, including Mauritania, Singapore, and Cyprus. Earlier reports that the terrorists specifically targeted U.S. and U.K. passport holders appear to be incorrect.

Some 300 people were injured. The terrorists, who appear to have been well-trained in military tactics, well-armed and provisioned for exactly such a battle, took three buildings — Taj Mahal Palace & Tower Hotel, Oberoi and Trident Hotels, and Nariman House, the last being a building owned by an Israeli who rented to Chabad-Lubavitchers. Apparently, some of the Lubavitchers were U.S. citizens.

All eight inhabitants of Nariman House were killed before Indian commandos retook the building. The terrorists also targeted a hospital and the main Mumbai railway station. The New York Times is reporting that the terrorists immediately killed everyone they came across in the various buildings they invaded, although they allowed security forces to assume that they had taken hostages. The terrorists also fired randomly at people on the street and in facing buildings, killing several bystanders whose only crime appeared to be being within the line of fire.

CNN is reporting that the terrorists had planned on killing 5,000 people.

U.S. intelligence is stating that it has no firm opinion as to who is behind the attacks. According to the NYT, the Indian government seems to believe that Pakistan's intelligence agency, the ISI, assisted the Lashkar e Taiba, or LeT, a militant Islamic group in Pakistan, in carrying out the attacks.

The terrorists claimed membership of the "Deccan Mujahideen." The Deccan is the mountainous plateau that divides North and Central India from South India. Mujahideen roughly translates to "freedom fighters." The group has not been involved in previous incidents and appears to be virtually unknown.

Indian security forces based their suspicions on the discovery of a boat adrift off the coast of Mumbai. The captain of the boat was discovered bound, face-down on the deck, dead. Four crew members are missing; and the logs from cell-phones retrieved from the boat indicate that they had been used to call Jalalabad, in Pakistan. Indian security have also, according to the Times of India, recovered multiple identity and credit cards from many different organizations. The level of sophistication involved is believed to indicate ISI involvement.

The current leader of Pakistan, best known for being the husband of Benazir "Pinkie" Bhutto, the corrupt Asif Ali Zardari, has warned India against holding Pakistan responsible while simultaneously, through the other side of his neck, warning Pakistani militant groups of a strict response should any of them be found responsible.

Bruce Riedel, a former CIA officer, advisor to President-elect Barack Obama, as well as previous presidents, and a supposed expert on the Middle-East and South Asia, claimed in his book, The Search for al-Qaeda, that Usama bin Laden assisted the ISI in developing LeT. A devastating attack on India's Parliament was carried out in 2001 by another terrorist group, Jaish e Mohammad, also apparently in collusion with the ISI. It is not clear at this time which of these two terrorist organizations is behind the current attack.

The ISI has long operated as an independent force in Pakistan. It is controlled by no one and beholden, apparently, only to U.S. military and intelligence who supply it with arms and aid. It has been instrumental in the downfall of politicians who have not toed its line. It is quite possible that the ISI, acting on its own, planned and executed the attack on Mumbai with the intent to destabilize relations between India and Pakistan: an attempt that may well suceed, given the increase in such incidents since George W. Bush first took power.

For evidence of such increase in terrorism, see Rep. Henry Waxman's letter to Colin Powell written in 2004. The letter points out that while the misadministration of Gee Dumbya manipulated data to make it appear as if terrorist incidents decreased during his ill-favoured reign, the underlying data make it clear that the number of incidents had actually increased.

The only good news that has come out of this is that President-elect Barack Obama has already formed and announced an emergency advisory team to deal with intelligence received on the Mumbai situation. However, unfortunately, Obama does not assume the reins of power for a little over fifty days as yet, during which time the Idiot-in-Chief can fuck the situation up in a hundred different ways.

And before I forget - thank you, George, for leaving the world in the shitty state it's in. We couldn't have done it without you, ya little schmuck. While you bombed the crap out of women and children in Iraq, destroying the cradle of civilization, al-Qaeda had plenty of time to build up in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Thanks.

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The Difference

Between the current Preznitwit:

Bushes Send Out Christmas-Themed Hannukah Cards

AP/Lawrence Jackson

Dim Son making faces at the Global Summit in Peru. Thank TPTB this is his last foreign trip. Perhaps the world will forget he ever existed, and soon.

and our future President:

"President-Elect Obama strongly condemns today's terrorist attacks in Mumbai, and his thoughts and prayers are with the victims, their families, and the people of India. These coordinated attacks on innocent civilians demonstrate the grave and urgent threat of terrorism. The United States must continue to strengthen our partnerships with India and nations around the world to root out and destroy terrorist networks. We stand with the people of India, whose democracy will prove far more resilient than the hateful ideology that led to these attacks[,...]."

Brooke Anderson, Chief National Security Spokesperson

Picture from The Huffington Post

Our Future President and the First Family handing out Thanksgiving food to the needy at their local food bank. That's some Family values we can get behind. Gotta go hand out Thanksgiving dinner to los gatos!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of yez! Have a wonderful time with your loved ones in grateful enjoyment of Nature's bounty. Stay warm and safe and drive carefully.

La Casa de Los Gatos wishes you the best.

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2008 Elections: The New Chief of Staff

President Obama roasts Rahm Emanuel:



We approve that deadpan delivery. And of course, that line about "Somebody with a weird name like Rahm Emanuel getting elected to Congress ..." and adopting Machiavelli's Prince for dance.

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2008 Elections: How Many Voted?

How interesting. According to infoplease, nearly 62 per cent of the electorate turned out to vote on Tuesday.

And a very good job they did. Thank you, people. For our new President. Who has proved that the grass will not grow up under his feet, as he (tired as he must be after that grueling 2-year-long effort) starts work on the enormous task that awaits him.

He's already been attending daily security briefings. He's begun the task of picking his Cabinet, carefully vetting each and every pick. He's spoken with various foreign leaders to begin the arduous task of rebuilding America's image abroad and to lay the groundwork for a consensus on an end to nuclear proliferation. Today, he's giving a press conference. He's in the midst of a conference with a broad and representative range of economic advisers even as we speak.

No brush-trimming lengthy vacations for our new President! He started work on this job almost immediately after the old job ended!

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2008 Elections: Obama Wows Teh World

In case you were wondering how other people felt about you, America!


Go here and see the rest for yourself. The last time the world came together on America's behalf was on 9/11, when our fellow humans lit candles and cried with us for our loss. Bush managed to alienate them all pretty effectively within months.

Today they join again to celebrate for us. We did the right thing for ourselves, and for the rest of the world. Thank you, America, for giving us President Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States.

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A New Day, America!

Yes, sirree. It's done. It's over. Well, the first part of it, anyway. I want to thank everyone who put up with all the screaming, hair-pulling, whining, crying, breast-beating, head-banging, and plain old shouting out loud about the elections. Them's over and done with and now we rest for a day before putting on our boots and gloves for the REAL task of raking out the filth left behind by Those Who Must Never Be Named (except, perhaps, to call them ambulatory purulence, and other such affectionate (NOT) monickers).

YES WE DID!

La Casa de Los Gatos received this email from the Obama campaign:

I'm about to head to Grant Park to talk to everyone gathered there, but I wanted to write to you first.

We just made history.

And I don't want you to forget how we did it.

You made history every single day during this campaign -- every day you knocked on doors, made a donation, or talked to your family, friends, and neighbors about why you believe it's time for change.

I want to thank all of you who gave your time, talent, and passion to this campaign.

We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I'll be in touch soon about what comes next.

But I want to be very clear about one thing...

All of this happened because of you.

Thank you,

Barack

Let us just say, sure, we know President Obama didn't write this himself. But any candidate — any politician — who is so mindful of the human touch, the small courtesies, the common man that s/he is supposed to represent — such a person is both politically shrewd and brilliant.


From here on in, La Casa de Los Gatos is back to normal reportage. Things political, social, national and international, scientific, environmental, and decidedly feline. It is a day of joy. Thank you all, peoples. For doing the right thing. For making this historic day possible. For putting up with the ranting and raving at this fine blog. Stay tuned. Starting tomorrow, we're back to work as your full-time source of all things worth ranting or laughing about.

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2008 Elections: The Right Temperament

No sooner had we posted something in honor of Barack Obama's wonderful grandmother when a fellow Digger posted a link to this clip:



Poor man. He lost his father while still a baby, then lost him again to death while young; then he lost his mother to cancer. Not too long after that, he lost his beloved grandfather. Now he's lost the last relative of the older generation, his beloved grandmother, Toot. His grandparents on both sides, dead. His parents, dead. And he's still so young.


Our respect for this man grows every day. Despite this deeply felt blow at this inopportune time, he was back on the stump today. And though he shed tears for his grandmother, publicly, unashamedly, not for a minute did his voice waver. He did not ask for sympathy or to be excused from the burden he took upon himself. When our Gran died, we were upset for weeks. When Mum died, despite our terrible decades-long acrimonious relationship, we suffered. Couldn't sleep, puzzled by the grief and mourning.


Tomorrow, perhaps, he'll be able to turn to his wife, his steadfast companion and dearest love, for the comfort he needs. Today, for the first time in this two-year-long campaign, he looked old, and tired, and bereft.



Bring it home tomorrow, people. For Barack and for Toot and for a better tomorrow. For change, the change we so desperately need.

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