Mint MorMoney is a Fucking Twat

Jesus Christ, this guy is a complete fucking twat.

And before you get on my case for calling him a Fucking Twat (which he IS), watch the entire video. Anybody here employed over the last 40 years? Remember when life was good, you worked hard, the boss gave you a bonus at the end of the year? Remember what happened around, oh, say, 2000? When companies started outsourcing jobs, and it seemed like raises kept dropping, or being eliminated altogether? And every year you were told there would be no bonus, or a reduced bonus? And then they started implementing performance targets for bonuses, so that it didn't matter how hard YOU worked, if your team, your group, your department, and your DIVISION didn't make their targets, you, the lowly schlub, could just kiss that bonus goodbye?

That's when Bain Capital was making Mint MorMoney all those millions. That's how come he has $300 million or more in his bank account, and you're lucky if you can feed the kids something that DOESN'T have rice, beans, or Hamburger Helper in it.

Mint MorMoney (copyright Helen Blazes)is a complete and total fucking twat. And if you want him as President, if you stay home and fail to vote for Barack Obama, don't you let me hear you whine ONCE, NOT FUCKING ONCE, about how there are no jobs and millionaires got tax breaks but you're paying more than ever. Because if you can't see that that's what he has planned, then YOU'RE a fucking twat, too, and a very STUPID fucking twat, at that.

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Attack Of The Killer Slimeballs

It's here at last! The war of the Horrible Wealthy Old White Male Republicans that will culminate in the re-election of Barack H. Obama in about ten months. And firing the opening shots is none other than everybody's favourite lard-assed pasty cannonball, Newton Leroy GinGrinch, aiming to take down Bishop Willard "Magic Underwear Mitt" Romney.

Check it out. Very nicely done, no?

Whaddya think? Can Mittens survive this? And the Bain Capital attacks?

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Such a shayne punim!

Anybody who dares to say our President "hates white people" has never seen this photo. Mind you, that's probably how his momma would be looking at him, if she were alive today.

And don't start with me on the NDAA. No, I'm not happy about it, but I'm not going to say anything until I've examined it for myself. My President @BarackObama is still the best possible choice available for the job, and I hope I can convince him to explain to me why this law is needed, and what he has done and will do to safeguard the civil rights of Americans and of all human beings, by extension.

In the meantime, if you watched the shitstorm that was the Iowa Republican Caucus tonight, you can see why I support my President. I do not want any of those loons in charge. This country is changing, just as the world is changing, and I wish that change would speed up. But we only get the kind of change and the amount of change that we work for.

See you in the frontlines of #Occupy in the new year!

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For All Our Irish Friends

Wherever they may be:

Our very own part-Irish President goes HOME to claim his heritage! President O'Bama, whose ancestors come from all over our world and whose relatives live in every part of it.

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Don't Forget To Give Thanks!

OK, this has to be an act of genius:



Really. Thank Fuck you very much, teabaggage.

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Cain: He's Not Able

Another day, another disaster for the Republican KKKlown KKKar KKKandidates.

Srsly, how embarrassing is this, anyway? Looks like Herman Cain is down for the count and sinking. First, the candidate was forced to acknowledge that he had only $13.00 in his "Hermanator" PAC.

Then, he reported his fundraising hauls for the current quarter: $2.5 million. Which sounds really impressive, until you realize that that is the smallest amount ANY of the candidates has raised this quarter, and about half of what Timmy "FeeFee" Teapawz raised. Pawlenty raked in the smallest amount of the other WHITE candidates, and Cain raked in about half that amount. Pretty sad, ain't it?

The teabaggers talk about how Herman Cain *proves* they're not racist (Why? Because he's a self-hating black man who's willing to give cover to white people attacking our President?), yet they won't give him their money.

You know, just like when they made Michael Steele chair of the RNC, but immediately took away his ability to disburse money. They're not going to trust no black folks with money! Come ON, Herman! Where have you been for the last 60 years, Uncle?

Well, the news just gets worse for poor ol' Uncle Herman. Here we all were enjoying our nice, long, warm, summery Fourth of July weekend, and what was the Hermanator's organization doing? Pooping all over him in Iowa, that's what. Yup. His Iowa people just up and quit on him, en masse.

Hermie's trying to put a good face on it, his current spokesweasel claims they've already got replacements lined up for all the rats wut done jumped his sinking ship. But srsly, how lame is it that your entire campaign staff ups and quits? And, worse yet, accusing each other of homosexual affairs? What is this, high school?

But srsly. I don't think Uncle Herman will be with us much longer.

Oh, yeah, and some of that money he "raised" was his own. The old man actually broke down and put some of his own Hermanbux into the race. What a fool. He's actually paying for the privilege of hanging out with a bunch of rich old white guys who would be yelling at him to fetch their drinks if he was even allowed in their fucking country club.

Bye, Hermie. Wish I could say it's been nice, but I'm kinda sick and tired of us Brownz siding with the majority against our own and doing the dirty work of trying to take down one of the best Presidents this nation has ever had — for them.

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Mission Accomplished!

We know y'all heard the news last night. Our President announced on the national media that bin Laden had been "taken out" in a surgical strike designed to inflict minimum "collateral damage."

Al Jazeera has the photos if you can stand to see 'em. Bit, uh, strong, so be warned. There was a lot of spontaneous cheering and people waving flags and what-all. Folks gathered around the White House, singing the National Anthem. Firefighters of the NYFD celebrating in Times Square. Cadets at West Point raising such a ruckus, the sleeping inhabitants of nearby areas came awake.

And of course, the media today is full of it. And we mean that in the politest way. No, of course we don't. But we're calling a moratorium on the insults for the nonce. Might as well just sit back and admit that, since the attack on the Twin Towers, we here at La Casa de Los Gatos have been twitchy and oppressed, even if we didn't know it.

The first reaction at the ol' Cathouse was shock. The second was a tremendous sense of relief, as if an invisible hand around one's neck had finally loosed its grip. The third was exultation. But that only lasted a short while. It is unseemly to celebrate death, no matter whose. We are grateful the symbolic scourge is gone, but the sight of people singing and celebrating, regardless of whether they are mujahideen or American civilians, is a little ... unsettling. But we're not going to rain on anyone else's parade. Y'all do what it takes, friends. Just remember to say "Thank you, Mr. President!" over at whitehouse.gov.

And now, for a little light relief. Here's George Dubya Bush's reaction when HE got the news:



Yeeeeeee-HAW!

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The President Rocks The Audience

Live from the White House Correspondents' Dinner:



Contrasting this with Bush's last appearance, I can't help thinking how innately decent and fair our President is. Yes, he had fun tweaking a few people, but no one who didn't deserve it. Most important of all, he called for remembrance of our troops -- the Republicans pay a LOT of lip service to that, but they're the ones who keep cutting the VA budget and freezing the ordinary soldier's wage, and refusing to regulate the payday lenders who are driving our troops' families into foreclosure.

More touching was his call to remember those devastated by the storms that have struck the Southern states. Those red states are a hotbed of teabagger KrayZ. He didn't have to say word one about them. But, unlike Bush, who never mentioned Katrina after it happened except to complain that Kanye West dissed him, our President called for a show of kindness and help to those who hate and disrespect him with every breath.

Thank you, Mr. President. Here's looking forward to another five years with you at the helm.

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The S_Trump_et Whores On

We mean, of course, The Donald. Or should that read "whoreson"?

Today, our President, Barack Hussein Obama, released the long form of his birth certificate.

Ordinarily,this form is not available for viewing except to those having a personal interest in it — which is to say, the person whose birth it records or other immediate family members. Hawai'i's privacy laws also do not permit the State to release the original copy to anyone. The President requested a waiver of such laws in order to release this piece of paper.

No other President — nor even any nominee for the office — has ever been required to prove their citizenship. So let's be perfectly straightforward and clear about this whole brouhaha. Had President Obama been white, the question would never even have arisen. On what grounds do I assert this? These:

• John McCain was never asked to produce his documents, despite the fact that he was NOT born in the US;
  

  
  

• Birfers are trying to change state and Federal laws — and possibly even the Constitution — to take away the right to citizenship jus soli, i.e., by virtue of having been born on US soil. They are also trying to alter the right to citizenship jus sanguinis, i.e., by right of blood. Currently, the Constitution recognizes both conditions as conferring citizenship. "Birther bills" on the State level actually require potential nominees to have *both* parents born on US soil. The fact that this would exclude Mitt Romney (whose father was born in Mexico) and Donald Trump (whose mother was born in Scotland) hasn't yet penetrated their crania, I suppose.
  

  
  

• These are the same people who, when Arnold Schwartzenegger the foreign-born brainless Austrian bodybuilder was making his stab at power, were willing to amend the Constitution to allow him to run for President. Yet they're not willing to accept the mixed-race child of a white American mother as a "real American" without making him leap through hoops despite what their OWN FUCKING LAWS SAY.

I'm furious and disgusted with the media's complicity in all this. With their endless bullshit, their boob job coverage, their fertility stories, their Royal wedding coverage, their bullshit about the teabaggers who can barely get 300 people to show up for most events, their refusal to cover the 100,000 who marched in Wisconsin. I'm sick of it. So I found this video on Crooks&Liars, which I cannot recommend highly enough. Please to watch. And then please spread the word. Because he's absolutely correct, every word of it.

Contact NBC and let them know what you think. They really need to hear from people.

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Didn't I Tell You Guys

Like, a fucking year ago?

President Barack Hussein Obama proves prescient once again in a speech to Republicans a year ago:



The man thinks ahead. He looks ahead. He's not perfect by a long shot, and he's not my ideal candidate by a long shot. But he is, hands down, the most pragmatic President ever. His rhetoric is not overblown but precise, surgically precise.

I wonder if John Boehner is weeping into his whisky watching this, right now.

Details here.

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Congratulations Are In Order!

It's the morning after the night before, and what a night it was! First off the bat, congratulations, California! It looks like the voters of the Great Golden State proved themselves, once again, to be the forward-looking independent-minded, trend-bucking bunch of eccentrics they've always prided themselves on being. Result: Governor Jerry Brown, Senator Barbara Boxer, Congressmembers Nancy Pelosi, Fortney "Pete" Stark, Henry Waxman, Lynn Woolsey, and a slew of other progressive Democrats. Neutral about Kamala Harris, but it looks as if she might have won her race, too. Thank you for keeping the Great State of California a deep and enduring blue. All over CA, Democrats have won their races by 60-80%.

Congratulations are also due to the Great State of Colorado! Despite forebodings and prognostications of doom, CO now has a Democratic Governor, John Hickenlooper, who ran on NOT attacking the other candidates. Yay, Hickenlooper. Hickenlooper's win means that disgusting maggot, Tom Tancredo, will have to find some other body politic to devour. CO has also returned Senator Michael Bennett to his Legislative seat. Good riddance to Ken Buck, the man who won't admit to wearing high heels. Finally, thanks to Dan Maes' dismal showing at the polls (<10% support), the Republican party is now an official minority party in CO. Thank you Dan, and thanks to all your teabagging supporters. Suck that Koch.

Congratulations to the State of Rhode Island, where former Republican-turned-independent and always-sensible moderate Lincoln Chaffee won the Governor's mansion with the help of Democrats, who turned the whole state blue. Democrats won all their statewide races. GO, RI! And as for Frank Caprio, dude, this is why you DO NOT fucking diss the fucking President of the fucking United fucking States, OK? He's the Prez. You might not like him, but he has a huge and loyal following. President Obama, despite the terrible shape of this country when he took over, still has higher ratings than most other Presidents at his stage of holding office. When you diss him, you  piss off a lot of Democrats who might otherwise have thought of voting for you. I hope you've learned your lesson., you little fucker. Now go hold your tongue and try to make yourself useful.

Congratulations to the blue, blue State of Massachusetts! Deval Patrick keeps the Governor's mansion, and Barney Frank goes back to the Senate! And better yet, Democrats won EVERY SINGLE RACE in MA.

Congratulations to the State of New Hampshire for retaining your Democratic governor, John Lynch. Despite the efforts of homophobes to unseat him because he supports LGBTQ rights, Lynch beat out the Republican handily and goes on to serve his fourth term. Some anti-incumbent mood.

Congratulations to the State of Maryland for returning feminist icon Barbara Mikulski to the Senate. The Senate sure could use a few more like her, and a lot less like, gee, Cornyn? Coburn? Brownback?

Congratulations to the State of Connecticut for rejecting Linda McMahon and supporting Richard Blumenthal instead. Blumenthal's clearly the better candidate, and your voters proved that they knew it.

Congratulations to Delaware for sending the would-be witch and perennial Senate Candidate, Christine O'Donnell, back to her battery-toy collection. DE went with Chris Coons, who knows the First Amendment by heart. Yay, DE!

Congratulations to the Great State of New York for choosing Andrew Cuomo instead of krayZloony Carl Paladino, who brought his baseball bat to his concession speech. The guy is nuttier than a fruitcake, and I'm glad he's history. Also, Schumer. I'm not wild about him, but his constituents seem to be, so good work, NY, for sending him back to the Senate. Pity y'all allowed five districts to slip into Repub hands, but Gillibrand won her race, so overall, y'all done good.

Congratulations to the beautiful State of Hawai'i for making Neil Abercrombie your new Governor! Duke Aiona was a dangerous loon. Abercrombie was by far the better choice. Thanks to y'all, Democrat Brian Schatz takes the Lt.-Gov's seat. Democrats hold both the State House and Senate, so y'all are on the right road! Daniel Inouye returns to the Federal Senate. Colleen Hanabusa beat Charles Djou. And Mazie Hirono returns to her job with a solid win. 

Congratulations to the Silver State for handing Sauron Angle a 7-8 point defeat in her widely acclaimed teabagger race for the Senate. The Koch brothers and Dick Armey spent millions there, only to lose. Happy Day. NV is no more for sale than CA or CO.

Congratulations to the Grand Canyon State for returning Progressive Rep Raul Grijalva to the House, despite last-minute attacks on him and his office. Congratulations for returning Democrats Ed Pastor and Gabrielle Gifford, also. Unfortunately, y'all have to live with the twin embarrasments of Dan "Potatoe-Head" Quayle and Jeff "There's A Good Reason For My Last Name" Flake. Also, Brewer? Srsly?

The Republicans are spinning like tops to claim that this was a landslide for their end of the political spectrum. We here at La Casa de Los Gatos are just really glad that the worst of the teabagger candidates went down faster than a manwhore. Palin endorsee and campaign slimebag Joe Miller? Looks like he's going down. Sauron "Church Lady" Angle? Gone, gone, gone. Cara Carleton Sneed Fiorina? History. Chuck deVore, are you happy now? PayLin endorsed her instead of you. It was the kiss of death.

Meg "Watch Me Spend My Billionz" Whitman? Gone. Christine "Masturbation is For Me, Not Thee" O'Donnell? Gone straight to jail, did not pass Go, did not collect those $200M dollars she needs to pay off all her bad debt, rehabilitate her candidacy, and try for political life ever again. Ken "Vote For Me, I Don't Wear Heels" Buck? A bad memory. Dan "Bicycles Are A UN Plot" Maes? To be remembered forever as the man who single-handedly took the Republican party to minority status in CO.

The teabagger candidates who won — Marco Rubio, Nikki Haley, and Rand Paul — represent a mere fraction of the total. But Rand will be a thorn in Mitch McConnell's side, which makes us kinda happy. Prediction? More political grandstanding, posturing, and fractures ahead. The Blue states seem to have become bluer, and the Red states seem divided between radicaloony teabaggers and moderate conservatives who find them unacceptable, with Democrats and Progressives tucked away in various corners, working hard to turn their Red states Blue. Despite teabagger challenges to most Republican candidates, most of them survived intact (Sam Brownback won handily in KS, Roy Blunt Trauma in MS, and Governor Goodhair in TX).

What's interesting is what happened to Blue Running Dog democrats, like Stephanie Herseth-Sandlin and Blanche Lincoln. 23 out of 54 Blue Dogs lost their seats. And their support of, (or opposition to) universal health care had nothing to do with it. If anything, we can expect more progressive Democrats in the House.

So, overall, as to be expected in a mid-term election year, the party in control lost seats. It's not a stinging defeat, it just shows that more work needs to be done. Today we celebrate. Tomorrow, we're back at work.

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What The FUCK Is Happening To This Country?

Unbelievable. Glenn Blech has just attacked a volunteer debate moderator from the League of Women voters.

What is it with these people? Fucking everybody is fair game? What are these fuckers up to? Ever since the day our President was sworn into office, Glenn Blech, Flush Rimbowl, and Pox Noose have been attacking him, and those of us who support him, despite the fact that 65,182,692 of us voted for him.

If you didn't want to click the linky, these are the linked incidents:

• FL gunman shoots exchange students;
  
• List of far-right politicians inciting violence;
  
• Murder of the Holocaust Museum guard;
  
• Murder of Dr. George Tiller;
  
• "Dirty bomb" materials found in RWNJ's home;
  
• TN skinheads arrested for plot to murder President Obama;
  
• Assault on WA activist Christie Stordeur;
  
• Assault on KY activist Lauren Valle;
  
• Arrest of a Democratic voter at a session for Eric Cantor;
  
• Intimidation of elderly black voters in TX;
  
• Attempted voter intimidation by teabaggers in TX;
  
• Reports of teabagger targeting of minority voters for harrassment coming out of many states.

There's lots more, not covered here. In OH, a McDonald's franchisee sent his employees a flyer telling them that if the Republicans win, they can expect bonuses and raises. Otherwise, fugaddeboudit. And, face it folks. This 24/7 demonization of anyone who isn't a fucking rightwing nutjob has gone too far.

It's one thing to attack your political opponents. But when you start attacking the fucking majority of your fellow-Americans because they voted for a black man in the White House, you are going TOO goddamned fucking far. For eight years, y'all told us, "Suck it up. Your side lost. Deal. You're either for us or agin' us. America — love it or leave it."

When does it get to be your turn to fucking suck it up? Y'all lost TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO, and all we've heard since then is threats, abuse, and promises of violence. And Pox Noose is at the heart of it all, spreading a seething discontent by feeding the fantasies of the worst of the worst. All along, y'all have been able to claim that none of you instigated this violence, this assault on the Constitutional liberties of the people. But now, stuff like this starts happening all over the place right around the elections, and it becomes clear to the rest of us who aren't stark barking mad, as the denizens of the TeaParty (what party? They're not registered as a party) appear to be.

Srsly. I don't want people who look or think like these pignorant dorks in charge of the country. Do YOU?

Raw Story commenter Sue Wilson says:

It's time to realize that Glenn Beck has 14 million radio listeners compared to 2 million Fox viewers. Radio airwaves are publicly owned, and we the people can and must demand accountability from broadcasters. Early next year, I am launching a project to empower communities to challenge stations' licenses. Why? Read here: http://retwt.me/1PsNH How? http://retwt.me/1PkA I need your help. I need specific instances of inciting violence on the radio. Not hate speech, our lawyers say it has to be inciting violence. I need date, time, host name, station call letters, and most importantly - audio. You get me these, I will challenge the stations' license. We the People are Taking the Media Back!

Sounds like a wonderful idea. When do we start?

If you like what Sue Wilson has to say, you can follow her on Twitter at @sueblueswilson.

And get your ass out there bright and early tomorrow and FUCKING VOTE. Unless you really want pignorant acephalic swine making the laws that will affect you and your children for the next 4-10 years.

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New Job for Shirley Sherrod

President Obama, please give Shirley Sherrod a new job. Please read Maureen Dowd's article in the New York Times.

Here are some excerpts:

“I don’t think a single black person was consulted before Shirley Sherrod was fired — I mean c’mon, “ said Congressman James Clyburn of South Carolina, a black lawmaker so temperate that he agreed with an op-ed piece in The Wall Street Journal on Friday by Senator James Webb of Virginia, which urged that “government-directed diversity programs should end.”

“The president’s getting hurt real bad,” Clyburn told me. “He needs some black people around him.” He said Obama’s inner circle keeps “screwing up” on race: “Some people over there are not sensitive at all about race. They really feel that the extent to which he allows himself to talk about race would tend to pigeonhole him or cost him support, when a lot of people saw his election as a way to get the issue behind us. I don’t think people elected him to disengage on race. Just the opposite.”

Eleanor Holmes Norton, D.C.’s House delegate, agreed: “The president needs some advisers or friends who have a greater sense of the pulse of the African-American community, or who at least have been around the mulberry bush.”

And, one last one ... this blog supports this idea wholeheartedly:

The president shouldn’t give Sherrod her old job back. He should give her a new job: Director of Black Outreach. This White House needs one.

If you would like to read Dowd's entire article, go here.

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OK, What-All's in the Water Down South?

Anybody know?

Because, yaknow, we here at La Casa de Los Gatos are having some serious problem understanding what the fuck is going on.

ICHC

Let's start with last week's little fiasco. A math teacher in Jefferson County, Alabama apparently decided the best way to teach his students about geometry was to give them a hypothetical about the correct angle to use when attempting to assassinate the President of the United States.

President of the United States in the Oval Office

Excuse me, what the fuck?

They finally put the sum'bitch on leave, but I'm willing to bet it was paid leave. And it took them forever to do it. Apparently the only reason the school put him on leave at all was because they were flooded with irate calls from all over the country. However, you'll be relieved to hear that the Secret Service did pay the little asshole a visit, which probably gave him diarrhoea for a week or two. Here's hoping it left teh burn of overuse and chilli dogs on his hemorrhoids. Fecking eejit. The school has not released his name. Wonder why? For those of you who care, his name is Gregory Harrison, and he teaches, or taught, at Corner High School.

So kudos to those of you who called. Until you did, the school was going to "have a conversation" with him. Probly along the lines of "Don't say stuff like that again in public, dood."

Martin Luther King's Assassination

Now, back when the Bouchebag Gee, Dumb? Yeah! was in charge, this is how teachers who did anything similar were treated:

Steve White, a science teacher at West Limestone High School near Athens, Alabama, was fired in 2006 after showing a film clip to his class in which President George W. Bush, members of his staff, and conservative personalities were referred to as "a–holes."

Incidentally, White was a Democratic candidate for the Alabama House of Representatives at the time. Imagine that, fired for telling the truth! I mean, how many people on this planet would disagree with the conclusion that conservative personalities are assholes? Geez, perhaps they're not. Perhaps they're GIANT MAJOR FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS SYPHILITIC ASSHOLES! There, I feel better already.

OK, it might look like I'm pickin' on poor ol' 'Bama, what with that story about the right Reverend or whatever you call those Baptist preachers, you know, that guy Aldridge with the two wetsuits and a condom-covered dildo stuck up his ass; followed by that darling little story about the homophobic, anti-sex-toy Attorney General of the State being busted by his wife schtupping his GAYGAYGAYGAYGAY male aide in the marital bed.

But, trust me on this, we're equal opportunity oppressors at mi Casa, just like Dear Old Mum. Catholic, as it were, in our hatreds. In fact, our next story takes place in Lumpkin County, Georgia.

I know. WTF were those dumb lumps thinking when they named the fecking place?

In the event, another fucking high-school teacher in that god-forsaken place apparently decided it was cool for her high-school advanced placement students to study racism by filming themselves cavorting around in — you guessed it, Ku Klux Klan costumes.

http://badgals-radio.com/

Except she didn't mention this little fact to anyone else in the school.

Imagine the surprise of the black and brown kids in the school who are sitting there eating their lunch when in come a bunch of assholes in Klan sheets with pointy hoods. Excuse me, Catherine Ariemma, what the fuck were you thinking? So far so bad, but here's where things take a turn for the abso-fucking worst.

The Klan-costumed kids start taunting the black kids and end up by inviting one of the black kids to join them in re-enacting a lynching.

Lynching

We leave it to you to determine what part the black kid would have played.

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The Bullshit Must Stop NOW

ICHC

We're in the midst of the worst ecological disaster of our lifetimes, in case you didn't know. That would be BP's oil rig leaking billions of gallons of oil into the ocean. The ocean that feeds and sustains us.

The RightWingNutJob Noise Machine, aka Faux Noise and Rupert Murdoch's various rags (the Wall St. Journal, various local fishwrap in different cities), the various "pundits" and opiners, talk show hosts and mouthpieces for the corporatocracy are already trying to spread the meme that President Obama and the Federal government that he heads are somehow culpable in this disaster. They're calling it "Obama's Katrina."

Oh, yeah? Well, I got your Katrina right here, fuckwits. What, do these idiots think that we have forgotten what happened during Hurricane Katrina? That was a mere five years ago, you bilious bloviating bilebags. We all lived through that, in person or vicariously. We have not forgotten the terrible scenes we saw.

So, peeps, if some RWNJ starts haranguing you with this bullshit? Here's what you tell them:

Timeline of events courtesy of Media Matters For America, a nonpartisan fact-checking organization devoted to exposing inaccuracy in reportage.

April 20 (10 p.m.): Oil rig explosion. An April 21 ABCNews.com article reported, "An overnight explosion in the Gulf of Mexico rocked the Deepwater Horizon oil rig off the Louisiana coast, sending spectacular bursts of flame into the sky. The fires were still raging today." The U.S. Coast Guard's National Oil and Hazardous Substances Response System assigns primary responsibility for cleaning up oil spills to the spiller as the responsible party.

April 21: Deputy Secretary of Interior, Coast Guard dispatched to region. An April 22 White House statement noted that following a briefing with President Obama, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, Coast Guard Commandant Adm. Thad Allen, Department of Interior Secretary Ken Salazar, EPA Deputy Administrator Bob Perciasepe, and FEMA Administrator Craig Fugate, "Deputy Secretary of the Interior David Hayes was dispatched to the region yesterday to assist with coordination and response." The Coast Guard announced that four units were responding to the fire, with additional units en route.

* Search and rescue efforts begin for 11 missing. An initial focus of the response was the search for 11 missing crewmembers. The search was called off April 23.

* BP confirms U.S. Coast Guard was "leading the emergency response" In an April 21 press release, British Petroleum stated that it was "working closely with Transocean and the U.S. Coast Guard, which is leading the emergency response, and had been offering its help - including logistical support."

* CNN.com: "The U.S. Coast Guard launched a major search effort." An April 22 CNN.com article reported:

The U.S. Coast Guard launched a major search effort Wednesday for 11 people missing after a "catastrophic" explosion aboard an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico engulfed the drilling platform in flames.

Another 17 people were injured -- three critically -- in the blast aboard the Deepwater Horizon, which occurred about 10 p.m. Tuesday. The rig was about 52 miles southeast of Venice, Louisiana, said Coast Guard Senior Chief Petty Officer Mike O'Berry. As of late afternoon Wednesday as many as six firefighting vessels were working to contain the massive fire caused by the explosion.

"It obviously was a catastrophic event," O'Berry said.

April 23: Coast Guard "focused on mitigating the impact of the product currently in the water." On April 23, the Coast Guard stated:

The Department of the Interior, MMS [the U.S. Minerals Management Service], and the Coast Guard continue to support the efforts of the responsible parties to secure all potential sources of pollution. Both federal agencies have technical teams in place overseeing the proposals by BP and Transocean to completely secure the well. Until that has occurred and all parties are confident the risk of additional spill is removed, a high readiness posture to respond will remain in place.

Although the oil appears to have stopped flowing from the well head, Coast Guard, BP, Transocean, and MMS remain focused on mitigating the impact of the product currently in the water and preparing for a worst-case scenario in the event the seal does not hold. Visual feed from deployed remotely operated vehicles with sonar capability is continually monitored in an effort to look for any crude oil which still has the potential to emanate from the subsurface well.

"From what we have observed yesterday and through the night, we are not seeing any signs of release of crude in the subsurface area. However we remain in a 'ready to respond' mode and are working in a collaborative effort with BP, the responsible party, to prepare for a worst-case scenario," Landry stated early Friday morning.

April 25: Response team implements plan to contain oil spilling from source, weather delays cleanup.

* Storms delay response efforts. An April 25 Associated Press article reported, "Stormy weather delayed weekend efforts to mop up leaking oil from a damaged well after the explosion and sinking of a massive rig off Louisiana's Gulf Coast that left 11 workers missing and presumed dead." AP further reported:

The bad weather began rolling in Friday as strong winds, clouds and rain interrupted efforts to contain the spill. Coast Guard Petty Officer John Edwards said he was uncertain when weather conditions would improve enough for cleanup to resume. So far, he said, crews have retrieved about 1,052 barrels of oily water.

* Oil recovery and cleanup were to resume after adverse weather passed. On April 25, the unified command team responding to the spill stated:

The unified command is implementing intervention efforts in an attempt to contain the source of oil emanating from the wellhead at the Deepwater Horizon incident site Sunday.

The unified command has approved a plan that utilizes submersible remote operated vehicles in an effort to activate the blowout preventer on the sea floor and to stop the flow of oil that has been estimated at leaking up to 1,000 barrels/42,000 gallons a day.

Also, BP is mobilizing the DD3, a drilling rig that is expected to arrive Monday to prepare for relief well-drilling operations.

Additionally, the oil recovery and clean-up operations are expected to resume once adverse weather has passed. These efforts are part of the federally approved oil spill contingency plan that is in place to respond to environmental incidents.

April 26: Response crews "to resume skimming operations." On April 26, the response team stated, "Sunday, an aircrew from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service sighted five small whales during an over flight in the vicinity of the oil spill, which currently measures 48 miles by 39 miles at its widest points with varying levels of sheening, and is located 30 miles off the coast of Venice, La." The command team further stated, "Following adverse weather that went through the area, response crews are anticipated to resume skimming operations today," including 1,000 personnel, 10 offshore vessels, 7 skimming boats and more than 14,000 gallons of dispersant. At that point 48,384 gallons of oily water had been collected.

April 28: Federal officials realize spill was far more severe than BP led them to believe. An April 28 New York Times article reported, "Government officials said late Wednesday night that oil might be leaking from a well in the Gulf of Mexico at a rate five times that suggested by initial estimates." The Times further reported:

In a hastily called news conference, Rear Adm. Mary E. Landry of the Coast Guard said a scientist from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration had concluded that oil is leaking at the rate of 5,000 barrels a day, not 1,000 as had been estimated. While emphasizing that the estimates are rough given that the leak is at 5,000 feet below the surface, Admiral Landry said the new estimate came from observations made in flights over the slick, studying the trajectory of the spill and other variables.

An April 30 Associated Press article reported, "For days, as an oil spill spread in the Gulf of Mexico, BP assured the government the plume was manageable, not catastrophic. Federal authorities were content to let the company handle the mess while keeping an eye on the operation." The article continued:

But then government scientists realized the leak was five times larger than they had been led to believe, and days of lulling statistics and reassuring words gave way Thursday to an all-hands-on-deck emergency response. Now questions are sure to be raised about a self-policing system that trusted a commercial operator to take care of its own mishap even as it grew into a menace imperiling Gulf Coast nature and livelihoods from Florida to Texas.

April 29: Napolitano declares spill "of national significance"; BP insists its "plan can handle this spill." On April 29, BP official Doug Suttles appeared on ABC's Good Morning America and stated, "At this point, I believe our plan can handle this spill, and that's what we're doing." That day, Napolitano declared the spill "of national significance," explaining that "we can now draw down assets from across the country, other coastal areas, by way of example; that we will have a centralized communications because the spill is now crossing different regions."

* EPA preparing for oil to hit shore. Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Lisa Jackson commented at an April 29 press briefing: "[A]s the oil does hit the shoreline, EPA will provide support to assess the impacts on the coastal shoreline and play a key role in implementing the cleanup. As a daughter of the Gulf Coast, I know that it is our job to ensure people that we will be eyes and ears working with the states who have valuable and vital resources to monitor air, water and land quality." Jackson also stated that the EPA has deployed air-monitoring aircraft "that is gathering information on the impact of the controlled burn on air quality, both in the area of the burn, and, of course, further away."

* AP: "Air Force sends planes to help with Gulf oil spill." An April 30 Associated Press article reported: "Two Air Force planes have been sent to Mississippi and were awaiting orders to start dumping chemicals on the oil spill threatening the coast, as the government worked Friday to determine how large a role the military should play in the cleanup."

* WSJ: Navy joins Obama's "robust response." An April 30 Wall Street Journal article reported that "The U.S. Navy said it will send more than 12 additional miles of inflatable oil booms to the Gulf, as well as seven towable skimming systems and 50 contractors with experience operating the equipment." The article continued: "The Navy is making two large facilities available to the Coast Guard personnel and BP-employed contractors who are currently taking the lead in fighting the spill. Military officials said the booms and skimmers were being sent to a Naval construction base in Gulfport, Miss. The Navy also opened its air base in Pensacola, Fla., to the effort."

The timeline is clear. The incident was reported on 4/21 and the same day, the Deputy Secretary of the Interior and the Coast Guard were on the scene. BP assured everyone that the situation was under control, and minimized the scope of the disaster.

Seven days later, the Coast Guard realized that BP had underestimated the leakage by a factor of five times or more, and had no plan to deal with the disaster. President Obama has told BP that they must pay for the cleanup, but he has assigned the highest level of resources to this crisis.

So I'd better not hear "Obama's Katrina" coming out of anyone's mouth, any time soon. Because Katrina was what caused me, finally, to take a stand against Gee, Dumb? Yeah! and his cohorts, the Bouchebags who squatted in the White House and the Houses of the People and every administrative office and department in this country.

Here are a few ways in which Hurricane Katrina differs from the current disaster:

• BP, NOAA, NASA — no organization could have predicted the oil rig accident.
  
  
• Hurricane Katrina had been predicted weeks beforehand. There was plenty of warning, it was hurricane season, and researchers could see the hurricane approach landfall.
  
  
• BP oil rig explosion — 11 dead
  
  
• Hurricane Katrina — 1,500 dead
  
  
• BP oil rig explosion — Federal Government/POTUS response: same-day dispatch of Coast Guard and high-ranking official to determine nature and extent of damage
  
  
• Hurricane Katrina — Federal Government/POTUS response: Bush flew to McCain's to celebrate birthday party
  
  Remember this?
  
  
  
  Meanwhile, Dick Cheney was off on a week-long fishing "vacation" in Wyoming — supposedly. And Condi Rice was checking out the plays on Broadway, diverting herself with a little shoe-shopping at Ferragamo. Here's the timeline of events, if you want to see for yourself.

Bush waited for FIVE WHOLE DAYS between the time aid was requested and the time he finally reported back to work. He was too busy enjoying photo ops with John McCain's birthday cake and horsing around with a guitar and lying to seniors about his new Medicare drug benefit.

Meanwhile, this just in: Halliburton, Dick Cheney's old company which won so many no-bid contracts after Dick picked himself to be Georgie's Veep, is implicated in the widening scandal. And has been involved in similar environmental disasters.

Moreover: President Obama has already directed that BP will pay the cost of cleanup. BP has, apparently, agreed.

So I'd better not be hearing nothing about no fucking Katrina.

Stumble It!

Happy New Year!

Another year has come to an end. And what a difference from a mere year ago! It's hard to capture the rage and despair of 2008, the craziness of the elections, the culmination of eight years of suffering through the policies of the demented cabal of the Naked Emperor in Washington, with its know-nothing appointees, its grand pooh-bahs with degrees in various ludicrous offshoots of fundamentalist theology from various ludicrous fundamentalist "shcoolz."

Thanks to the endless drumbeats of the Republican media machine, we could be forgiven for thinking that the masses are bitterly dissatisfied with President Obama's first year in office, but in fact it seems the masses are too busy dealing with daily life and bad teevee to cast more than an occasional glance at the goings-on in Washington.

Which is really not very good at all, but after years of being wound up to fever pitch and suffering the horrors of unbridled Republican greed (which seems to be getting worse, or exposed more often, or something), I can understand people wanting to take a break. And there is no denying that the President has worked wonders in foreign affairs. There is a new response that Americans traveling abroad excite, a new comity. While Republicans at home continue to froth and fume, growing increasingly rabid, turning over more and more of their power to shrill idiots like (ins)Hannity, Blech, and Limpballs, the whole world seems to be willing to relax a little and offer the new guy a much friendlier and more accepting demeanor than we've seen in nearly a decade.

Russia joining the US in sanctions for Iran? Who'd'a thunk?

This year has been rife in challenges. The collapse of Wall St., the taxpayer bailout, the stalling of the closure of Gitmo, the fight after fight after fight for healthcare, the destruction of Main street mortgage values ... no one can say it wasn't arduous and, at times, wretched. But — we made it. There's a spirit of caring and sharing in the air which has not been diffused by the hit our incomes took. Yahoo is offering its employees a chance to do good as a year-end bonus; Hairdressers are offering free haircuts to job seekers; and organizations of volunteers have teamed with restaurants and chefs in some cities to donate and deliver food to those who need it.

Enjoy your friends and families, this New Year's Eve. If you're going out, stay safe and wrap up warm. Make sure your designated driver carts your drunken asses safely home. Or better yet, snuggle up with your sweetie in front of a blazing fire, or a warm heater, and play a friendly game of, I dunno, Scrabble? Monopoly? Something fun.

La Casa de Los Gatos is dining on Mongolian beef with lots of dried red chillies in it; sauteed Chinese greens in Xiaohsing rice wine, soy sauce, cornstarch, chicken stock, with a couple drops of sesame oil; and plain rice.

Tomorrow we break out the Merlot with dear friend and fellow blogger Ms. Manitoba, and grill/broil filet steaks with different seasonings. It's our steak taste testing New Year's celebration.

Details to be posted later.

Thanks for your visits, your comments, your friendship. May the New Year be much kinder to you and yours than the old has been. And a very Happy New Year to all.

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OBAMA: NO MORE ESCALLATIO

ESCALLATIO

This word was coined by the wonderfully irreverent Tom Lehrer about President Lyndon Johnson's increasing military involvement in Vietnam.

I created a T shirt back in August of 2007 for Bush's regime that said:
NO MORE ESCALLTIO

I guess I'm gonna have to rummage around and find it.

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Obama: You Can Only Steal from the People For So Long ...

Like many people, I am so very disappointed in President Obama. He’s just not listening to the Peacemaker inside of him (shouting to come out!) -- but who is he listening to? Definitely not former President Eisenhower.

“I hate war,” said Dwight Eisenhower, “as only a soldier who has lived it can, as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.”

He also said, “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and not clothed.”

-- Using that quote from Pres. Eisenhower is how Bob Herbert started his column called “A Tragic Mistake” in today’s New York Times. It’s a very good essay. I recommend it to you.

Then there is Michael Moore’s letter to Obama. I recommend that you read that one too, dear Reader.

Mr. President, I’m just so disappointed -- even while I also held the thought that you were a centrist politician, nowhere near a progressive, really. Disappointed that you don't have the courage of your convictions. Or ... maybe you're just too tired for another fight. It’s been said recently that you are looking very very tired.

Plus, I guess you’re worrying about your re-election. In that sense, you are like every other politician. I guess that’s why I’m so disappointed. Because, even though you are not progressive, I thought you were different than other politicians.

War. It steals from us, the people. It has been bringing us down for a long time. Have we paid off the Vietnam War yet?

How can we pay for yet another war? And I mean in every sense of the word “pay.”

To many of us, we believe that this country is going the way of the Roman Empire ... the British Empire. Maybe that’s as it should be. We’ve had more than our fair share for a long time.

And, you, my president (for I did vote for you) ... you are going the way of all those other presidents who don’t know what regular folks’ lives are like. We are terrified. We are terrified for our children and our grandchildren. WAR STEALS FROM THE PEOPLE. It was that radical person, Dwight D. Eisenhower, who would have said that. You can only steal from the people for so long.

Plus, Mr. President, I think it was really weasly of you to give your address at West Point. Why didn’t you come to Oakland, California, where I live, and give it here? Weasly. Can’t take the heat, eh? Come and look into the faces of regular folks, and the homeless and unemployed, and tell them that we will be making more bombs and armaments -- that’s how we’ll be spending our limited amount of money. Not on our beloved children who deserve the best education -- they too -- all of them -- deserve an “elite” education. (See this great article about all children deserving an elite education.)

A tragic mistake for all of us. You can only steal from the people for so long. It's always us regular folks who suffer, though, from the tragic mistakes of our arrogant leaders.

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Happy Anniversary, Mr. President and First Lady!

President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama

It is the anniversary of the President and his lovely First Lady, and they celebrated with a quiet dinner. What a joy this lovely couple is!

Happy anniversary to you both. May your marriage flourish and bring you, your children, and your nation joy for many more years.

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Politics: Incitement to Violence

ICHC FTLOL

The Foofaraw-Of-The-Day (hereinafter FoTD) was that some motherfucking idiot butthole surfer decided to create a poll asking whether his fellow FaceBookers thought that President Obama deserved assassination.

For those who don't use FaceBook, lots and lots of third-party developers write little apps that you can use to do silly stuff on FB, like create stupid polls that actually go to your FB account and pull all kinds of data about you and your friends and then sell it to people who want to pay money to find out what kind of people use FB and how dumb they are and also how likely to pay money for the dumb things these people want to sell them.

So there's this third-party app that lets you create polls. And most of the polls are really silly, harmless stuff like "What flavour of ice-cream are you?" and "Do you wear frilly panties?" and shit like that.

Well, this bright soul (not) decides to create this fucking poll about whether the President should be assassinated, and the choices it gives you are (Yes), (Maybe), (If he cuts my healthcare), and (No).

Some 700 or so other idiots found this poll and decided to take it. Well, actually, the first person to take it probably sent it to five other friends, who sent it to 25 other friends, and it snowballed. To the credit of most of the idiots who took it, the answer was NO by a staggering margin. And the total number of responses was very small in terms of the total number of users on FB. And, the Internets responded by reporting the dumb motherfucker to the Secret Service.

To FB's credit, they immediately suspended polls when this was brought to their attention. They then had a little talk with the app developer, asking him to fix his code so that no one could ever do such a revoltingly swinish thing again. Which he is, I believe, doing as we squeak. They also had their little session with the Secret Service and, no doubt, have turned over captured IP addresses and the like.

Welp. It won't be too long before the Men In Black have a little conversation with the feckin' eejit who wrote that feckin' poll, will it, now?



Good luck, you scum-sucking swine. You're going to need all of it that you can get. Not that we think you should be allowed much of anything, with the exception of bread, water, and shelter from the elements in a jail cell for some years, but hey. You get your day in court while the prosecutor tries to prove you guilty.

Maybe this will stop the likes of Annhole Coulter, Glen Blech, and Flush Rimbowl from making their unacceptable and unwarranted cracks about poisoning Supreme Court Justices, or the Speaker of the House, or shooting at the Speaker or the President.

Listen up, Fuckwits, one and all: US Code TITLE 18 PART I CHAPTER 115 § 2385:

Whoever knowingly or willfully advocates, abets, advises, or teaches the duty, necessity, desirability, or propriety of overthrowing or destroying the government of the United States or the government of any State, Territory, District or Possession thereof, or the government of any political subdivision therein, by force or violence, or by the assassination of any officer of any such government; or
Whoever, with intent to cause the overthrow or destruction of any such government, prints, publishes, edits, issues, circulates, sells, distributes, or publicly displays any written or printed matter advocating, advising, or teaching the duty, necessity, desirability, or propriety of overthrowing or destroying any government in the United States by force or violence, or attempts to do so; or
Whoever organizes or helps or attempts to organize any society, group, or assembly of persons who teach, advocate, or encourage the overthrow or destruction of any such government by force or violence; or becomes or is a member of, or affiliates with, any such society, group, or assembly of persons, knowing the purposes thereof—
Shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both, and shall be ineligible for employment by the United States or any department or agency thereof, for the five years next following his conviction.
If two or more persons conspire to commit any offense named in this section, each shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both, and shall be ineligible for employment by the United States or any department or agency thereof, for the five years next following his conviction.
As used in this section, the terms “organizes” and “organize”, with respect to any society, group, or assembly of persons, include the recruiting of new members, the forming of new units, and the regrouping or expansion of existing clubs, classes, and other units of such society, group, or assembly of persons.

So before you form into astroturfer organizations carrying placards advocating the violent overthrow of the government, please note that it is a fucking CRIME as defined by law. There are penalties for this kind of hate speech. You can't run around flapping your ugly gobs about killing people without consequences.

Do you understand, you cone-headed dimwits? The Free Speech amendment to the Constitution gives you the right PEACEABLY to assemble. Read it, idiots:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

If you're not assembling PEACEABLY, without guns or hate speech or threats or incitements to crime, well, there are consequences for that kind of behaviour. You have to take responsibility for your bullshit, assholes. Better start sending money to the ACLU now, motherfuckers, because they're the only ones that will bail your oversized useless lardy asses out of the hoosegow.

Moreover, these heah threats you're making against your freely and fairly elected President? That shit is laid out in the same fucking code, you worthless buttfucks. Read it and meep: TITLE 18 PART I CHAPTER 41 § 871.

Threats against President and successors to the Presidency

(a) Whoever knowingly and willfully deposits for conveyance in the mail or for a delivery from any post office or by any letter carrier any letter, paper, writing, print, missive, or document containing any threat to take the life of, to kidnap, or to inflict bodily harm upon the President of the United States, the President-elect, the Vice President or other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President of the United States, or the Vice President-elect, or knowingly and willfully otherwise makes any such threat against the President, President-elect, Vice President or other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President, or Vice President-elect, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.
(b) The terms “President-elect” and “Vice President-elect” as used in this section shall mean such persons as are the apparent successful candidates for the offices of President and Vice President, respectively, as ascertained from the results of the general elections held to determine the electors of President and Vice President in accordance with title 3, United States Code, sections 1 and 2. The phrase “other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President” as used in this section shall mean the person next in the order of succession to act as President in accordance with title 3, United States Code, sections 19 and 20.

OK, assholes? Didja get that? Do you understand the words of more than one syllable here? The next time one of you motherfuckers starts making that cocksucking pout of the lips and spouting off about the tree of liberty being watered with the blood of tyrants? Y'awl better be prepared to see some Men In Black coming through the front door, the back door, or both.

What part of PEACEABLY TO ASSEMBLE do you pointy-headed assholes not get? "Peaceably to assemble" does not mean "bring your fucking Uzis and AK-47s to the town hall and terrify little children and old ladies," do you get that yet?



Because by all you fucking hold holy, you brainless walking excrement, if you harm one hair on the head of our lawfully elected President, our Vice-President, or our Speaker of the House, be prepared for some real patriots to kick the holy fucking shit out of your cheetos-laden ass.

Stumble It!