Caturday!

Well! Hasn't this been an exciting week!

• Bishop Willard "Mitt" RomneyCare started the week claiming to have created 100,000 jobs while at vulture corporation Bain Capital, but ended it whimpering something about "6,000 jobs."

• After claiming that Romney won the Iowa state caucus, the GOP had to reverse itself and announce that Santorum actually won (Headline: Santorum easily slides ahead?)

• Jon Huntsman (who? Oh, c'mon! You know! The guy who was polling at 1% or lower but the media still insisted he was in the race, even while refusing to let Buddy Roemer or Gary Johnson speak!) finally took his two million dollars worth of dental work and three hot daughters out of the public eye by announcing that he's dropping out of the race.

  In a slap-in-the-face to all the "liberals" who love him (because the Republicans/conservatives hate his motorcycling ass with a passion), he endorsed Bishop Willard. WTF, Jon? Y U treat us so bad, after telling us that schmuck was unelectable? Did the Temple Leaders threaten to take away your planet, or what?

• Rick Purreh finally took pity on a suffering America and took his moronic undereducated dumber-than-the-last-Texas-hick ass back to N*****head Ranch where I guess he's keeping the local coyotes in fear for their lives and asking God "Why? Why me, Lord?" as he weeps incoherently into his bourbon-and-branch.

  Whom did he endorse? None other than "amoral jewelry-debt piglet"* Newt Gingrich, the man with the plan for trinkets from Tiffany's.

• Meanwhile, the Godbag Faction of the Republican Party met last Sunday to anoint Santorum as their Chosen.

  No, not with santorum, you sick little puppies. In any event, those Fuckus on The Fambly turds, those Christianist Bible-bashers and homo-haters and misogynistic morons of Rightwingnuttia decided that their Not-MittRomney candidate would be Rick Santorum. These assholes were totes backing (P)Rick Perry just last week, so, talk about pivoting on a dime here. Faithless sluts.

• Perennial punching bag and media slut-moron Sarah Palin apparently has lost even more of her brain to whatever deadly disease was making her spew word salad.

  After being informed that Newt's second wife, Marianne Gingrich, would be interviewed by ABC right after the South Carolina Republican debates, Babble Spice snorted that this would help Gingrich soar. Puzzled media bobbleheads have finally figured out that she meant Newt's amoral and perverse sexual shenanigans might have left him a little *sore,* or something. **

• Over in Wisconsin, the Recall Walker campaign announced that it had received more (lotsmore) signatures than the minimum required to achieve their aim. Down, down, down goes Snotty Wanker, erstwhile governor of Wisconsin and rent-boy for the Koch Bros.

So, what's the deal, Republicans? Are y'all just tired of being a party, or what? Because this is some pretty weak fucking sauce, here, jes' sayin. I know we here at La Casa de Los Gatos have been saying for a while that President O could just cold phone it in, but, man? Do y'all have to make it so EASY for him? Y'all spent six years telling us he was a weak-ass n*****, a compromiser who caved on everything and apologised to everyone and bowed to foreign leaders and was morally weak. Meanwhile, he's been kicking y'alls asses nine ways to Sunday every day of the week.

I have heard Republicans telling me for six years or more about the fight against terrorism and how y'all are going to follow bin Laden to the gates of hell, and y'all know where he is and will take him out but only if we elect you (WTF? Treason much?). So, do we wanna talk about who might actually have taken bin Laden out? Because, you know, I don't remember that Republican President we had before Mr. Obama, you know, the one that NOBODY seems to want to talk about, I mean, they're *still* talking about Clinton and Carter, but you know, that guy, seems like everyone's done gone and forgotten about him, when he said he didn't care about bin Laden any more, and he disbanded the task force that was supposed to be looking for bin Laden, I don't recall ONE SINGLE Republican saying anything then. Not one word about following him to hell, or they will pay, or none of that shit. No, sir. None a that shit. And now Mr. Obama, he took out that Mr. bin Laden, and he took out that Mr. al-Zawahiri and he took out a whole bunch of these here, what the Republicans was calling "terrorists," round about ten years ago. He took them all out. And what do you suppose our fine Republican friends did about that? Did they say "Thank you, Mr. Obama"? Did they say "Thank you Mr. President, for keeping our country safe"? No, sirree, they did not. They said he illegally invaded a sovereign nation. These people, who had no problem with the US invading the sovereign nation of Iraq, which was NOT involved in any attacks against us, got all upset because Mr. Obama had to send a surgical strike team to take out the man who masterminded the most recent attack on American soil, who was being sheltered on Pakistani territory, by our "allies." Imagine that. Did you think you'd live to see the day when a bunch of "America, right or wrong! America, love it or leave it!" assholes would be more upset about the rights of those who shelter our enemies than about our right to pursue those enemies who kill our citizens?

And when he's not the Caveman-in-chief, he's supposed to be some kind of Superman who is singlehandedly preventing yon teabaggers from getting anything done while shoving unpopular measures down the collective throat of the American people. He's a Marxist, a Stalinist, a Fascist, and an Islamist, he controls the courts (which, nevertheless, stubbornly refuse to rule in his favour on certain issues, why, no one can say). He's using mind control techniques to hypnotize the weak willed sheep who are cowed by his bullish tactics even as they are seduced by the pork he proffers. Geez, no wonder we're obese. Half our metaphors are about spectator sports and the other half about food. Oh, NOEZ!! He's forcing states to take care of sick people, disabled people, poor people, babies and children who might be hungry, starving people, old people! How AWFUL!

What the FUCK kind of world are we living in where these nutbags can turn reality into something resembling sausage, i.e., chopped up, mixed up, and stuffed up a pig's anus? Seriously. There is a styful of pigs on the Republican side of this election. Fortunately, it's thinning. Still, the choices fucking suck.

So it's off to Florida for Mittens and Newt and Rick Santorum and Ron Paul, while the rest of America stabs itself in the eye with a fork over and over and over, just to dull the pain.

Happy Caturday, y'all!

* Forever indebted to Kirsten Boyd Johnston of Wonkette for the so-fitting sobriquet of "amoral jewelry-debt piglet" for Newtie.
** Apparently, Bobblehead Barbie was correct, and them South Carolinians just LERVE them some amoral pigfuckery of the adulterous, wife-dumping, intern-humping, vow-breaking Nouveau Papist variety. Newt Gingrich just won South Carolina.

Stumble It!

WHCA Dinner

Yes, Seth Meyers was great. Thoroughly enjoyable.

But you know what? This is still my ALL-TIME FAVOURITE!



Bush looks just about as happy as Donald the sTrumpet did.

Stumble It!

Mission Accomplished!

We know y'all heard the news last night. Our President announced on the national media that bin Laden had been "taken out" in a surgical strike designed to inflict minimum "collateral damage."

Al Jazeera has the photos if you can stand to see 'em. Bit, uh, strong, so be warned. There was a lot of spontaneous cheering and people waving flags and what-all. Folks gathered around the White House, singing the National Anthem. Firefighters of the NYFD celebrating in Times Square. Cadets at West Point raising such a ruckus, the sleeping inhabitants of nearby areas came awake.

And of course, the media today is full of it. And we mean that in the politest way. No, of course we don't. But we're calling a moratorium on the insults for the nonce. Might as well just sit back and admit that, since the attack on the Twin Towers, we here at La Casa de Los Gatos have been twitchy and oppressed, even if we didn't know it.

The first reaction at the ol' Cathouse was shock. The second was a tremendous sense of relief, as if an invisible hand around one's neck had finally loosed its grip. The third was exultation. But that only lasted a short while. It is unseemly to celebrate death, no matter whose. We are grateful the symbolic scourge is gone, but the sight of people singing and celebrating, regardless of whether they are mujahideen or American civilians, is a little ... unsettling. But we're not going to rain on anyone else's parade. Y'all do what it takes, friends. Just remember to say "Thank you, Mr. President!" over at whitehouse.gov.

And now, for a little light relief. Here's George Dubya Bush's reaction when HE got the news:



Yeeeeeee-HAW!

Stumble It!

The President Rocks The Audience

Live from the White House Correspondents' Dinner:



Contrasting this with Bush's last appearance, I can't help thinking how innately decent and fair our President is. Yes, he had fun tweaking a few people, but no one who didn't deserve it. Most important of all, he called for remembrance of our troops -- the Republicans pay a LOT of lip service to that, but they're the ones who keep cutting the VA budget and freezing the ordinary soldier's wage, and refusing to regulate the payday lenders who are driving our troops' families into foreclosure.

More touching was his call to remember those devastated by the storms that have struck the Southern states. Those red states are a hotbed of teabagger KrayZ. He didn't have to say word one about them. But, unlike Bush, who never mentioned Katrina after it happened except to complain that Kanye West dissed him, our President called for a show of kindness and help to those who hate and disrespect him with every breath.

Thank you, Mr. President. Here's looking forward to another five years with you at the helm.

Stumble It!

The Bullshit Must Stop NOW

ICHC

We're in the midst of the worst ecological disaster of our lifetimes, in case you didn't know. That would be BP's oil rig leaking billions of gallons of oil into the ocean. The ocean that feeds and sustains us.

The RightWingNutJob Noise Machine, aka Faux Noise and Rupert Murdoch's various rags (the Wall St. Journal, various local fishwrap in different cities), the various "pundits" and opiners, talk show hosts and mouthpieces for the corporatocracy are already trying to spread the meme that President Obama and the Federal government that he heads are somehow culpable in this disaster. They're calling it "Obama's Katrina."

Oh, yeah? Well, I got your Katrina right here, fuckwits. What, do these idiots think that we have forgotten what happened during Hurricane Katrina? That was a mere five years ago, you bilious bloviating bilebags. We all lived through that, in person or vicariously. We have not forgotten the terrible scenes we saw.

So, peeps, if some RWNJ starts haranguing you with this bullshit? Here's what you tell them:

Timeline of events courtesy of Media Matters For America, a nonpartisan fact-checking organization devoted to exposing inaccuracy in reportage.

April 20 (10 p.m.): Oil rig explosion. An April 21 ABCNews.com article reported, "An overnight explosion in the Gulf of Mexico rocked the Deepwater Horizon oil rig off the Louisiana coast, sending spectacular bursts of flame into the sky. The fires were still raging today." The U.S. Coast Guard's National Oil and Hazardous Substances Response System assigns primary responsibility for cleaning up oil spills to the spiller as the responsible party.

April 21: Deputy Secretary of Interior, Coast Guard dispatched to region. An April 22 White House statement noted that following a briefing with President Obama, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, Coast Guard Commandant Adm. Thad Allen, Department of Interior Secretary Ken Salazar, EPA Deputy Administrator Bob Perciasepe, and FEMA Administrator Craig Fugate, "Deputy Secretary of the Interior David Hayes was dispatched to the region yesterday to assist with coordination and response." The Coast Guard announced that four units were responding to the fire, with additional units en route.

* Search and rescue efforts begin for 11 missing. An initial focus of the response was the search for 11 missing crewmembers. The search was called off April 23.

* BP confirms U.S. Coast Guard was "leading the emergency response" In an April 21 press release, British Petroleum stated that it was "working closely with Transocean and the U.S. Coast Guard, which is leading the emergency response, and had been offering its help - including logistical support."

* CNN.com: "The U.S. Coast Guard launched a major search effort." An April 22 CNN.com article reported:

The U.S. Coast Guard launched a major search effort Wednesday for 11 people missing after a "catastrophic" explosion aboard an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico engulfed the drilling platform in flames.

Another 17 people were injured -- three critically -- in the blast aboard the Deepwater Horizon, which occurred about 10 p.m. Tuesday. The rig was about 52 miles southeast of Venice, Louisiana, said Coast Guard Senior Chief Petty Officer Mike O'Berry. As of late afternoon Wednesday as many as six firefighting vessels were working to contain the massive fire caused by the explosion.

"It obviously was a catastrophic event," O'Berry said.

April 23: Coast Guard "focused on mitigating the impact of the product currently in the water." On April 23, the Coast Guard stated:

The Department of the Interior, MMS [the U.S. Minerals Management Service], and the Coast Guard continue to support the efforts of the responsible parties to secure all potential sources of pollution. Both federal agencies have technical teams in place overseeing the proposals by BP and Transocean to completely secure the well. Until that has occurred and all parties are confident the risk of additional spill is removed, a high readiness posture to respond will remain in place.

Although the oil appears to have stopped flowing from the well head, Coast Guard, BP, Transocean, and MMS remain focused on mitigating the impact of the product currently in the water and preparing for a worst-case scenario in the event the seal does not hold. Visual feed from deployed remotely operated vehicles with sonar capability is continually monitored in an effort to look for any crude oil which still has the potential to emanate from the subsurface well.

"From what we have observed yesterday and through the night, we are not seeing any signs of release of crude in the subsurface area. However we remain in a 'ready to respond' mode and are working in a collaborative effort with BP, the responsible party, to prepare for a worst-case scenario," Landry stated early Friday morning.

April 25: Response team implements plan to contain oil spilling from source, weather delays cleanup.

* Storms delay response efforts. An April 25 Associated Press article reported, "Stormy weather delayed weekend efforts to mop up leaking oil from a damaged well after the explosion and sinking of a massive rig off Louisiana's Gulf Coast that left 11 workers missing and presumed dead." AP further reported:

The bad weather began rolling in Friday as strong winds, clouds and rain interrupted efforts to contain the spill. Coast Guard Petty Officer John Edwards said he was uncertain when weather conditions would improve enough for cleanup to resume. So far, he said, crews have retrieved about 1,052 barrels of oily water.

* Oil recovery and cleanup were to resume after adverse weather passed. On April 25, the unified command team responding to the spill stated:

The unified command is implementing intervention efforts in an attempt to contain the source of oil emanating from the wellhead at the Deepwater Horizon incident site Sunday.

The unified command has approved a plan that utilizes submersible remote operated vehicles in an effort to activate the blowout preventer on the sea floor and to stop the flow of oil that has been estimated at leaking up to 1,000 barrels/42,000 gallons a day.

Also, BP is mobilizing the DD3, a drilling rig that is expected to arrive Monday to prepare for relief well-drilling operations.

Additionally, the oil recovery and clean-up operations are expected to resume once adverse weather has passed. These efforts are part of the federally approved oil spill contingency plan that is in place to respond to environmental incidents.

April 26: Response crews "to resume skimming operations." On April 26, the response team stated, "Sunday, an aircrew from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service sighted five small whales during an over flight in the vicinity of the oil spill, which currently measures 48 miles by 39 miles at its widest points with varying levels of sheening, and is located 30 miles off the coast of Venice, La." The command team further stated, "Following adverse weather that went through the area, response crews are anticipated to resume skimming operations today," including 1,000 personnel, 10 offshore vessels, 7 skimming boats and more than 14,000 gallons of dispersant. At that point 48,384 gallons of oily water had been collected.

April 28: Federal officials realize spill was far more severe than BP led them to believe. An April 28 New York Times article reported, "Government officials said late Wednesday night that oil might be leaking from a well in the Gulf of Mexico at a rate five times that suggested by initial estimates." The Times further reported:

In a hastily called news conference, Rear Adm. Mary E. Landry of the Coast Guard said a scientist from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration had concluded that oil is leaking at the rate of 5,000 barrels a day, not 1,000 as had been estimated. While emphasizing that the estimates are rough given that the leak is at 5,000 feet below the surface, Admiral Landry said the new estimate came from observations made in flights over the slick, studying the trajectory of the spill and other variables.

An April 30 Associated Press article reported, "For days, as an oil spill spread in the Gulf of Mexico, BP assured the government the plume was manageable, not catastrophic. Federal authorities were content to let the company handle the mess while keeping an eye on the operation." The article continued:

But then government scientists realized the leak was five times larger than they had been led to believe, and days of lulling statistics and reassuring words gave way Thursday to an all-hands-on-deck emergency response. Now questions are sure to be raised about a self-policing system that trusted a commercial operator to take care of its own mishap even as it grew into a menace imperiling Gulf Coast nature and livelihoods from Florida to Texas.

April 29: Napolitano declares spill "of national significance"; BP insists its "plan can handle this spill." On April 29, BP official Doug Suttles appeared on ABC's Good Morning America and stated, "At this point, I believe our plan can handle this spill, and that's what we're doing." That day, Napolitano declared the spill "of national significance," explaining that "we can now draw down assets from across the country, other coastal areas, by way of example; that we will have a centralized communications because the spill is now crossing different regions."

* EPA preparing for oil to hit shore. Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Lisa Jackson commented at an April 29 press briefing: "[A]s the oil does hit the shoreline, EPA will provide support to assess the impacts on the coastal shoreline and play a key role in implementing the cleanup. As a daughter of the Gulf Coast, I know that it is our job to ensure people that we will be eyes and ears working with the states who have valuable and vital resources to monitor air, water and land quality." Jackson also stated that the EPA has deployed air-monitoring aircraft "that is gathering information on the impact of the controlled burn on air quality, both in the area of the burn, and, of course, further away."

* AP: "Air Force sends planes to help with Gulf oil spill." An April 30 Associated Press article reported: "Two Air Force planes have been sent to Mississippi and were awaiting orders to start dumping chemicals on the oil spill threatening the coast, as the government worked Friday to determine how large a role the military should play in the cleanup."

* WSJ: Navy joins Obama's "robust response." An April 30 Wall Street Journal article reported that "The U.S. Navy said it will send more than 12 additional miles of inflatable oil booms to the Gulf, as well as seven towable skimming systems and 50 contractors with experience operating the equipment." The article continued: "The Navy is making two large facilities available to the Coast Guard personnel and BP-employed contractors who are currently taking the lead in fighting the spill. Military officials said the booms and skimmers were being sent to a Naval construction base in Gulfport, Miss. The Navy also opened its air base in Pensacola, Fla., to the effort."

The timeline is clear. The incident was reported on 4/21 and the same day, the Deputy Secretary of the Interior and the Coast Guard were on the scene. BP assured everyone that the situation was under control, and minimized the scope of the disaster.

Seven days later, the Coast Guard realized that BP had underestimated the leakage by a factor of five times or more, and had no plan to deal with the disaster. President Obama has told BP that they must pay for the cleanup, but he has assigned the highest level of resources to this crisis.

So I'd better not hear "Obama's Katrina" coming out of anyone's mouth, any time soon. Because Katrina was what caused me, finally, to take a stand against Gee, Dumb? Yeah! and his cohorts, the Bouchebags who squatted in the White House and the Houses of the People and every administrative office and department in this country.

Here are a few ways in which Hurricane Katrina differs from the current disaster:

• BP, NOAA, NASA — no organization could have predicted the oil rig accident.
  
  
• Hurricane Katrina had been predicted weeks beforehand. There was plenty of warning, it was hurricane season, and researchers could see the hurricane approach landfall.
  
  
• BP oil rig explosion — 11 dead
  
  
• Hurricane Katrina — 1,500 dead
  
  
• BP oil rig explosion — Federal Government/POTUS response: same-day dispatch of Coast Guard and high-ranking official to determine nature and extent of damage
  
  
• Hurricane Katrina — Federal Government/POTUS response: Bush flew to McCain's to celebrate birthday party
  
  Remember this?
  
  
  
  Meanwhile, Dick Cheney was off on a week-long fishing "vacation" in Wyoming — supposedly. And Condi Rice was checking out the plays on Broadway, diverting herself with a little shoe-shopping at Ferragamo. Here's the timeline of events, if you want to see for yourself.

Bush waited for FIVE WHOLE DAYS between the time aid was requested and the time he finally reported back to work. He was too busy enjoying photo ops with John McCain's birthday cake and horsing around with a guitar and lying to seniors about his new Medicare drug benefit.

Meanwhile, this just in: Halliburton, Dick Cheney's old company which won so many no-bid contracts after Dick picked himself to be Georgie's Veep, is implicated in the widening scandal. And has been involved in similar environmental disasters.

Moreover: President Obama has already directed that BP will pay the cost of cleanup. BP has, apparently, agreed.

So I'd better not be hearing nothing about no fucking Katrina.

Stumble It!

World: Afghanistan

Welp, it looks like more and more Dems are coming around to Senator Russ Feingold's point of view on Afghanistan. And none too soon, given the recent news of rowdy fratboy misbehaviour by U.S. citizens in this deeply conservative Islamic nation.

What the hell are we doing in Afghanistan, anyway? It's a pointless war. The idea was to go in, get bin Laden and whoever else is in charge in al-Qaeda, and get the fuck out. But now, General Stanley McChrystal, top American commander in Afghanistan, is asking for more U.S. troops. And NATO is purportedly planning to increase its commitment to Afghanistan, according to Anders Fogh Rasmussen, secretary-general of NATO. "As long as it takes," says Rasmussen. As long as WHAT takes, sir? What are you hoping to accomplish?

Afghanistan is a pathetically poor nation, historically torn by fighting. Everyone seems to want a piece of that poverty-stricken land, beginning with Sikandar (Alexander the Great to you Greco-Romanists), and moving through Britain and Russia to the United States, and now an alliance of Western powers fronted by NATO. So far, no one's had much luck winning a war there. The British gave up after multiple defeats. The defeat of the Russians occurred within our own lifetimes. And now the US/NATO Coalition of Teh Stupid is getting ground to dust.

Clausewitz has this, among other things, to say about war:

War is not an independent phenomenon, but the continuation of politics by different means.

Given that Clausewitz is somewhat of an authority on war, it would behoove both NATO and the US to remember that. And what are the politics of Afghanistan?

Historically, Afghanistan has been a land of warring tribes, fierce and intransigent, deeply committed to a harsh version of the Muslim faith it adopted circa 650 AD. United for a little over a century into a kingdom comprising multiple dynasties and tribal alliances, these tribes have long resisted any semblance of comity, being more likely to invest their energies in settling grievances with each other by whatever means and having long since grown adept at manipulating foreigners against each other for their own survival and vengeance.

Thus, the question restates itself: What are the political aims of the U.S. and NATO in Afghanistan? Uniting the country? That seems laughable. There is no "country of Afghanistan," only a series of tribes that have fought each other for hundreds, possibly thousands, of years and will continue to fight each other long after the latest in a series of invaders has been crushed into exhaustion by the hostile climate, terrain, and natives.

Alleviating the lot of the natives? Well, war is the worst possible way to go about that. We appear to be killing lots of innocent, and possibly also not-so-innocent, civilians. In the event, a country torn by war, poverty, corruption, crime, and suffering does not allow democracy to take root in its bitter soil. Democracy requires the active participation of informed people. The people of Afghanistan are too busy fleeing bombs, being killed and maimed, and attempting to stay alive to spend time gathering information. And our presence there, far from alleviating their lot, is killing them.



It doesn't help to have the examples of other failed wars in Asia: Japan's war in China, and the U.S. involvement in Korea, and VietNam. To quote Bernard Viscount Montgomery,

[...] Rule 2 of war [...] is: "Do not go fighting with your land armies in China". It is a vast country, with no clearly defined objectives.
In the House of Lords, 30 May 1962 (Hansard, Col. 227)

And subsequently, upon the involvement of the U.S. in the VietNam conflict:

The US has broken the second rule of war. That is, don't go fighting with your land army on the mainland of Asia. [...]

As is always the case, corruption is rife in a land torn by war. No one seems to care about what the Afghanis themselves think about the Taliban, or the puppet dictator, Hamid Karzai, that we have foisted on them.

What exactly are we hoping to achieve in Afghanistan? Because if our aim is to ensure that natural gas flows from the rich fields around the Caspian Sea to ports where it can be transhipped to countries hungry for this rich natural resource, then perhaps we ought to be less hypocritical about it and either sterilize the entire nation of its inhabitants, or just buy it outright and pay the Afghanis to settle elsewhere.

Inhumane, you say? Of course it's inhumane. But how humane is it to prop up a corrupt, American-owned dictator who watches and pockets our riches anyway even as little girls and boys have their arms and legs blown off?

This is a problem that requires a political, not a military solution. So far, 21,000 troops have been sent there to fight and kill and be killed.

Photo by Julie Jacobson, AP

No more. Let's bring them home, people. Supporting the troops means not using them in the Gee, Dumb? Yeah! war of convenience. The Afghanis don't want us there. They want us to give them the training to become adept at defending themselves and then get the fuck out. What the fuck are we waiting for?

Stumble It!

Politics: The Constitution

ICHC

Until recently, we at La Casa de Los Gatos were of the opinion that only the Idiot Son, our Chimperor from 2001 through 2008, had the temerity to refer to the document on which this nation was founded as "a goddamn piece of paper."

But thanks to literacy and the joy of reading, we find that Georgie Porgie was not the first, probably will not be the last, and is almost certainly not the only one among us who has equated this noble document with bumwad.

Which is why we should fund education, and resist the dumbing-down of the nation to which the oligarchs and corporatists among us seem committed.

Here, for your enjoyment, or at least edification, a quote:

"[...] if it is a question of the safety of the country ... the Constitution is just a scrap of paper to me."

*attributed to Asst. Sec. of War James McCloy, as quoted in Lest We Forget: The Japanese and America's Wartime Mistake, Joyce E. Williams and Alice M. Coleman

The issue in question? The forced internment of Japanese (Issei) and Japanese-American (Nisei) civilians in specially built concentration camps, in blatant disregard of Constitutional protections. Since the vast majority of those interned were guilty of nothing more than being of a different race than the majority of Americans at the time, the manifest injustice of their imprisonment required a contempt for the founding document of this country that is still difficult to believe.

Of course, one has to ask oneself exactly what people mean by "the country." Throughout history, a "country" has been variously defined as that geographical location that has been successfully held by one or more strong men (rarely, women), usually related. More recently, countries have been political entities, comprising people of different ethnicities who make common cause for their mutual protection and success. This particular country can be said to comprise those who regard this particular Constitution as a contract between themselves and their fellow citizens. That being the case, treating the Constitution as "a goddamned piece of paper" bears all the logic and clarity of thought of the statement "We had to destroy the village in order to save it."

This type of information — the knowledge that the people who have power over us believe that we have no rights whatsoever — needs to be disseminated far and wide. People need to know that those who climb the ladders of power see the powerless as disposable stepping-stones to that power.

Today, we have a President who believes in listening to his fellow-citizens. This man was democratically elected in free and fair elections by nearly two-thirds of his countrymen. We also have a proportion of certifiable loons talking about bloody and violent revolution to wrest power away from our elected leader. Although they are in the minority they want to violently overcome the will of the majority.

While we agree with Jefferson that the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants, we don't appreciate idiots like William Kostric conflating the fairly elected and chosen President of two-thirds of his nation with tyrants like, say, Dim Son. Where was this self-proclaimed "hero" and "patriot" as Bush and his cohorts systemically looted the nation and broke its infrastructure? Cowering under his bed? Peeing his pants for fear of the pigment-endowed and hirsute perpetrators of Terra?

Mr. Kostric, since you're fond of quotations, consider these, if you will:

"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."
-- Samuel Johnson (Boswell's Life of Johnson)

When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.
-- Jonathan Swift

*Note: James McCloy testified in 1981 before the Commission on Wartime Relocation and Internment of Civilians that he did not make this statement.

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The Opposite of Peace Is — War?

Been reading a lot about World War II lately. My father fought in that war. He lost the hearing on one side thanks to shrapnel that perforated his eardrum. He lost many of his friends. He nearly lost his life.

But my reason for reading is both greater and lesser than a desire to know a little piece of my father's history: I am writing a novel set in that period.

And today, I came across something that encapsulates very nicely the malaise that the reading of the past several weeks has engendered in me. FTA:

WAR is a racket. It always has been.

It is possibly the oldest, easily the most profitable, surely the most vicious. It is the only one international in scope. It is the only one in which the profits are reckoned in dollars and the losses in lives.

A racket is best described, I believe, as something that is not what it seems to the majority of the people. Only a small "inside" group knows what it is about. It is conducted for the benefit of the very few, at the expense of the very many. Out of war a few people make huge fortunes.

In the World War [I] a mere handful garnered the profits of the conflict. At least 21,000 new millionaires and billionaires were made in the United States during the World War. That many admitted their huge blood gains in their income tax returns. How many other war millionaires falsified their tax returns no one knows.

How many of these war millionaires shouldered a rifle? How many of them dug a trench? How many of them knew what it meant to go hungry in a rat-infested dug-out? How many of them spent sleepless, frightened nights, ducking shells and shrapnel and machine gun bullets? How many of them parried a bayonet thrust of an enemy? How many of them were wounded or killed in battle?

Out of war nations acquire additional territory, if they are victorious. They just take it. This newly acquired territory promptly is exploited by the few – the selfsame few who wrung dollars out of blood in the war. The general public shoulders the bill.

And what is this bill?

This bill renders a horrible accounting. Newly placed gravestones. Mangled bodies. Shattered minds. Broken hearts and homes. Economic instability. Depression and all its attendant miseries. Back-breaking taxation for generations and generations.

Maj. Gen. Smedley D. Butler, War Is A Racket

While Japanese farmers, office workers, and civilians were restricted to the grayest of lives by the sumptuary laws enforced before and during WW II, while Japanese intellectuals trembled under the heavy hand of the thought police and suffered torture by the Kempeitai, while Chinese peasants starved and their children were forcibly inducted into the military to fight against superior armies and lose their lives for a pittance, the wealthy crooks who engineered these wars became wealthier still. Come rain or shine, they continued to find ways to profit from the vast human suffering.

George W. Bush paid for the war in Iraq by borrowing billions of dollars from the Chinese. Now your grandchildren will have to repay that debt. I hear some people say Obama is creating a huge debt by borrowing additional monies to stimulate the economy. Unfortunately, the hole that Bush left has to be patched before everything else leaks out of it. And the only way to patch that hole is to stimulate the economy into spending.

People forget that the U.S. economy runs on consumer spending. Before George Dumbya left office, the Iraq war had already cost us three TRILLION dollars. We are bringing our troops back now, but that costs money too. Then there's the issue of reintegrating them into the smashed civilian economy. All the while, the war profiteers like Dick "Dick" Cheney sit back on their seats and bwa-ha-haaa themselves into something like an orgasm. I wish it were an organism. Something intestinal and painful and lengthy.

How many kids have lost their parents in this war? Iraqi kids? Somewhere between one and five million? American kids? Somewhere between three and ten thousand? Nobody really knows. In 2004, when the total casualty figures were around 2,000, Scripps stated that 900 American children had lost a parent to the war. However, the casualty toll has doubled since then, and most of the soldiers in this war have been professional military and reservists, which means they tend to be older, married, and have more children.

How many kids are getting back parents who are not the people they used to be? Broken in body or mind or both? How many kids have to grow up really fast, to become caretakers to their parents instead of being children any more? Smedley Butler was right. War IS a racket.

Blackwater mercenaries made two to three times the salaries of military men for the same work. No-bid government contracts made a lot of people very rich. The wholesale plunder of Iraqi oil made other people (or sometimes the same people) very rich. To us, the taxpayers, is left the broken mess, the debris, the tortured, the cripple, the lame, the halt, the blind, the miserable, people who are still fighting the war in their heads, crying themselves to sleep or drinking or drugging to forget. And they are living among us as are their suffering parents and spouses and children.

The dividends of peace are happy human lives. However, these do not represent adequate profits to those whose greed drives them to profit above all else. And to achieve those profits they will willingly sacrifice every last man, woman, and child of us upon an altar of blood.

Crossposted over at The Peace Tree.

La Casa de Los Gatos apologizes for the dearth of recent posts. A bout of illness laid us low, and having had our first meal today in nearly a week, we can safely say we now have energy to start blogging again. To think that a little food can make so much difference ...

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Politics: President Obama, A Slide Show

Callie Shell / Aurora for TIME

Today marks the 100th day, supposedly, since Obama took office. What a bunch of guff. It isn't 100 working days, although our President appears to work around the clock, rarely taking time off.

However, Time magazine has collected some truly beautiful photographs of our President, and you can see them here. The one above is one of my favourites. It's the President on Air Force One. Interestingly, almost every photograph shows President Obama working. It provides a great contrast with the last occupant of that office. That worthless lout almost never seemed to work. Even the "rolled-up sleeves" during his Hurricane Katrina flyover were strictly photo-op material.

President Obama has set the bar very high, with his daily performance over the past two years leading up to the election, and the 100 days since. Perhaps that's why his popularity continues to increase, while the Republicans seem to be losing ground daily as they do their best to slander and attack this wonderful man.

I'm not an Obamabot — already in the past 100 days, he has made many decisions I'm not happy about. But I recognize his dedication to the country, his hard work, his genuine love for the country and all its people, and I can't help but be impressed. I'm too much of a curmudgeon to "like" people. It's all I can do not to rip most of their heads off, and I've often felt that humanity would improve greatly by being decimated by intelligent aliens, or even microbes and virii.

But I am impressed by, and respectful of, those who love their fellow humans. Our President is clearly one of those people. He is genuinely warm and affectionate to people he doesn't know — and if it's not genuine, then he deserves a fucking Oscar because he is the best damn actor ever.

Check out the pix. Even if you don't like the President, you'll like the photos. There's even a couple of the Obama girls in there. Good work, Time! My only quibble is that Time repeats the falsehood that Michelle Obama flouted British royal protocol by hugging the Queen of England. Our previous post shows Queen E. quite comfortably slipping her own arm around Michelle's waist. An unidentified spokesman of Buckingham Palace stated that Mrs. Obama had not breached protocol, and even the Wall Street Journal, which bears little love for the Obamas, collected a number of references in the news to that effect. So why Time chooses to repeat this bilge is beyond me.

Pas de quois. The issue is, the photos are beautiful. The photogs must be thanking their lucky stars to have such a gorgeous and photogenic couple/family as their assignment. Deity knows they probably had to wait for Georgie to quit picking his nose or playing with his marbles to snap their shots.

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Snippets

Light blogging interspersed with rain, pain, and much swearing at an overactive Gustav, whose Neurotic Glands are, apparently, exuding Miasma of Neurosis. Stupid psycho feline!

The current issue of The Funny Times arrived this week, ensuring that my mood is somewhat better than it has been of late. If you don't have it, consider a subscription. Also, consider gift subscriptions for friends. It makes an inexpensive, wonderfully enlightened and enjoyable present, and is a great way to support cartoonists like Nina Paley and Keith Knight, and columnists like Lenore Skenazy.

From the current edition of the Funny Times:

It is God that has made us and not we ourselves; we are his people and the sheep of his pasture, and George W. Bush is no longer the top sheep. Altogether a cause for rejoicing

[...]

Meanwhile, we have this classy family in the White House, overachievers but gracious about it, mischievous kids and a smart man and a woman who sometimes tosses him glances that say, "Oh, just get over yourself." What their presence says about the decency and generosity of this country is huge, friends, just huge. Rejoice, America. Je suis Americain. Ich bin ein Amerikaner.

And Phil Proctor, in Phil's Phunny Phacts, sends in this from Ben and Jerry's:

Yes, Pecan ice-cream for Obama

and a contest asking people to finish this sentence: "And for George W. Bush, they created ..." which resulted in the following entries (there were many more, but these were selected):

Grape Depression
Abu Grape
Cluster Fudge
Nut'n Accomplished
Iraqi Road
Chock 'n Awe
Wiretap-ioca
Impeach Cobbler
Guantanamal-low
imPeachmint
Heck of a job, Brownie!
Neocon-politan
Rocky Road to Fascism
The Reese'scession
Cookie D'oh!
The Housing Crunch
Nougalar Proliferation
Death by Chocolate ... and Torture
Credit Crunch
Country Pumpkin
Chunky Monkey in Chief
George Bush Doesn't Care About Dark Chocolate
WMDelicious
Chocolate Chimp
Bloody Sundae
Caramel Preemptive Stripe
"I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands" ... with nuts

I'd change the last one to "millions," but hey, that's just me, yaknow? Iraqis count, as do Afghanis and Pakistanis.

I'm an atheist, and I never did like Garrison Keillor much, but I have to admit that the snippet above made me feel good when I read it. Especially because the bit about the Obamas is so right on.

Good thing I don't like ice-cream, that list would make me explode otherwise. Got a name you'd like to bestow on ice-cream in (dis)honor of Gee Dumbya? Send it in!

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Economy: Imagine

if we'd actually listened to that wealthy and stupid failure, Gee Dumbya, and put Social Security into stocks, like he wanted us to do.

It would have gone the way of the Pension Guaranty Benefit Corporation funds that ex-Lehman Bros. weasel Charles Millard shifted into the market right before it collapsed.

The Bush government — failure, incompetence, greed, corruption, and Teh Stupid in buckets. Can we jail this moron? And force him to cough up everything he owns?

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Economy: My President Don't Mess Around

What a difference an election makes! Remember back when Hope Steffey was assaulted by the very police that she called for help, and we at this fine blog opined that when our leaders refuse to obey the law of the land, every small-minded fool in the country goes along?

Gee Dumbya and his Bush-league myrmidons felt perfectly justified in crapping on the constitution and wiping their collective tush on it, and that behaviour percolated down through the ranks with every ha'penny-two-penn'orth of crookdom and liarment leaping on the old bandwagon headed straight to hell.

They raided the treasury and shat all over the middle class and the working poor. They took trillions of dollars of our money and disappeared it through various hidey-holes. One memorable example would be the airdrop of some US$12 BILLION in cash over the war zone of Baghdad, back in 2007 before ethnic cleansing rendered the city reasonably "safe" for those who might want to, I don't know, run around with fistfuls of US dollars. You know, like us working people who've been screwed so hard and for so long, we're just walking bags of lube.

We don't even need to mention Halliburton's endless run of no-bid government contracts and obscene profits, or KBR's repeated attempts to electrocute the whole fucking US army in Iraq while billing us taxpayers (yes, that would include those of us unfortunate enough to be serving at the time) in the hundreds of thousands for their "services." There is some hellish level of irony involved in knowing that you and your family and everyone who loves, or even just likes, you is paying through the nose to have you killed, yaknow?

So when those evil motherfuckers raised the whole notion of TARP (the Troubled Assets Relief Program), there was much muttering on the part of residents and friends of La Casa de Los Gatos. I mean, hey, Bush has fucked up EVERYTHING nine ways to Sunday, yaknow? You could give that man a nice cold popsicle and instead of enjoying it, he'd put his eye out with it. Or, more likely, yours. Or even the whole nation's.

Dumbya vs. Pretzel, Pretzel Wins

I mean, have you ever in your life BB (Before Bush) heard of anyone getting beat up by a pretzel? Yet there was the man, our (thankfully very) ex-Preznitwit, showing up with bruises and what-all anaconda he nearly lost a battle with an edible treat. Geesh, Christ fucking Criminy. That's gotta take a little work, yeah?

For the record, I myself was for the bailout. I judged, based on my minimal understanding of economics and the economy, that frozen commercial paper was very very bad indeed, in terms of the collapse of the market. I just didn't want to see the Bushleague vultures administering it. I mean, Hank Paulson? He looks even more like Skeletor than Michael Chertoff. Where do they find these assholes? Every single one of the Bush appointees looked like they had recently escaped the pages of some really bad comic about Evil Men. Evil, and let me quickly add, incompetent men.

My fellow-bloggers, to give them their due, were against the bailout. I put it down to their naivete (though not to their faces, I'm not dumb enough to invite that kind of ass-kicking).

Later on down the line, we find (Surprise! NOT!) that the League of Incompetent EvilMen actually threatened our elected congresscritters with martial law if they didn't approve the bailout of Wall Street and its legions of fat, slobbering, greedy bankers. Pig man, pig man.

They put all that money — a trillion dollars or more — in the paws of that James-Bond-style bald villain, Henry Paulson. Who promptly spread as much of it as he could among his friends on Wall Street. I know. You're simply shocked. Scandalized. Nobody could have foreseen, yada yada yada. See Danny Schechter for details.


It was only by the great good luck of President Obama winning the election that we were spared further assault upon our collective economic anatomy, you know, the kind of butt-reaming we've had for the past eight years.

So, Bush and his minions managed to distribute more than two-thirds of the bailout they requested before President Obama ever even took office, and Paulson was trying to get his greedy mitts on the remainder before the new brooms came in to sweep the People's Houses clean of his and his cronies' corruption. All that money went to Wall Street, mind you.

And what, exactly, did Wall Street do with that vast handout? Did they try to clean up those toxic securities, did they propose any plan to limit the damages for which they were responsible, the toppling of the entire world's economy due to their Credit Default Swaps, instruments so toxic that no one has yet been able to assign to them a value? Huh? Did they?

Fuck, no. Lemme tellya, I put off taking my pain meds today (yes, I AM in screaming agony, however did you guess?) because I wanted to feel the rage, the burning pit of fire in my gut that makes me want to singlehandedly garrote the entire bunch of bloodsuckers. Fortunately, my leg no work, so I couldn't even get within shoe-throwing distance of these motherfuckers, plus, you know, I'm kinda a foodie, and frankly prison food is the shits, and I might not even have access to a computer, and THEN how would I get rid of my frustration? Eh?

Wanna take a guess what they did with that money? Huh? Even as hundreds of thousands of people are getting the rigid digit in terms of getting laid off their jobs or taking pay cuts or having their company plain old fold beneath them, cutting them off from health insurance, an income, and possibly the roof over their heads? Yeah? Take a guess.


Yup, that's right. They handed it out in bonuses. To the same fucking villains who laid off all their workers and "downsized" their employees and "reorged" to secure current profit margins, and — worst of all — who created this whole fucking mess in the first place with their abominable greed. Yes. Wall Street paid out bonuses to the executives who threw us all in the pit wherein is much wailing and gnashing of those teeth as we have left. $18.4 billion dollars in bonuses.

The state comptroller, Thomas P. DiNapoli, said it was unclear if banks had used taxpayer money for the bonuses, a possibility that strikes corporate governance experts, and indeed many ordinary Americans, as outrageous. He urged the Obama administration to examine the issue closely.

To add insult to injury (hey, mere bleeding is never enough for these guys. They have to indulge in a little haruspication or, better yet, anthropomancy) these same mother-and-father-fuckers had the gall — the unmitigated gall! — to take our money, we the working people who support the economy, and attempt to screw us over by defeating bills that might benefit labour. As JerseyJo might say, "If yer gonna screw me, at least kiss me first, or bring the lube, or something."

Three days after receiving $25 billion in federal bailout funds, Bank of America Corp. hosted a conference call with conservative activists and business officials to organize opposition to the U.S. labor community's top legislative priority.

The level of chutzpah demonstrated here is, is, is ... ARGH!! WHAT?!? Not only are they screwing us without lube or protection, they're using our own dick to do it!

Thank TPTB for our new President. Because, lemme tell ya, he's been doing some major buttkicking already, in case you missed it. Oh, yes. You don't have to tell this man a thing. He's been working around the clock since the day after he got elected, bar two very short "vacations," laying the groundwork to keep us from falling any deeper into the pit that Shrub Dumbwit et al have dug for us.


And he does not mess around. A lot of people mistake his calm demeanor for evidence that he's a pushover, that he's soft, and won't stand up to them. I see him more as a guy who likes to get stuff done with minimum fuss and pother. He requested, and received some $820 billion that he has pledged to use to benefit working people, help homeowners stay in their homes, and create jobs.

Thus, when he found out that Citibank was dicking around with consumer funds to buy themselves a brand-new $50 million corporate jet, our President put the kibosh on those mofos so fast, their heads are still spinning.

The jet, the epitome of corporate prestige and privilege, can carry 12 passengers in elegant comfort.

ABC News has learned that on Monday officials of the Obama administration called Citigroup about the company's new $50 million corporate jet and told execs to "fix it."

And then, just because these moronic assholes are so bred-in-the-bone greedy, The Man had to take to the airwaves to kick some more ass publicly, because you just know some dumb motherfucker was going to try something similar a couple of days later.

Shameful, he called it. Irresponsible. Outrageous. Appalling. When was the last time you remember corporate greed being called on the carpet? These assholes would happily wring the last drop of blood out of your dying child so they can spend it on hookers and champagne. Go ahead. Click this link and listen to your new President tell 'em.

Meanwhile, your Congresscritters of the Republican persuasion, who lined up to publicly fellate Gee Dumbya and their corporate masters on Wall Street over the multibillion dollar giveaway of our money, are all knicker-wadded that President Obama is actually going to take some of that money to help working people and homeowners.

After insisting on packing the final bill with various porklike tax cuts for their business buddies, they all ran away screaming with their underwear over their heads. Not a single one of those pathetic weenie bastards voted for the money to create new jobs, the money to keep working people in their homes, the money to give quick relief to the non-billionaires among us. Not fucking one. From teh article:

Complicating matters is a feeling among some conservatives they squandered their reputation for being careful with public finances under President George W. Bush, Obama's predecessor for eight years that ended on January 20.

No shit, people. That finally dawned on you guys, huh? That you had broken the locks on the bank doors and basically run naked through the streets throwing fistfuls of dollars at any friend or relative you could spot?

And, to provide further merriment:

A new Diageo-Hotline Poll finds that 66 percent of Americans, when provided with specific details, support the current proposed stimulus package.

That's gotta hurt, huh, Mitch "Closet Queeniest of teh Queens" McConnell, John "Yes, I'm Named After a Naughty Body Part" Bo(eh)ner.

Finally, to prove that they can't get anything right, the Repugnicans have put out their own "alternative" economy-stimulating bill. That's right. Only problem is, it raises taxes for a whole lotta soon-to-be-very-angry Americans. Yes, sirree, bob. Y'all know that AMT thingamahoochie that had so many hardworking taxpayers' shorts in a big old knot? The "alternative" bill isn't gonna change nothing for those guys 'n gals. Let the shrieking begin!


Jesus fucking J.H. Christ and his black brother Harry, ya dimwits, can't you even get something this simple right? It's not like ya can't pay other people to crunch the numbers for ya, just in case yer all from the "Math is Hard" school of taxpayer-screwing, yaknow.

Something tells me the Rethugs will be a regional party for a long time to come. Not that this means y'all should relax your efforts to ensure an ignominous end for them or anything. We've all seen that they can lie, cheat, and steal their way out of anything. So go right ahead and mash them into obscurity. Let there come a day when nobody remembers the word "Republican," unless it's in one of those Dan-Savage-style definitions, like, yaknow, Saddlebacking. (Google it.)

More good news: Senator Chris Dodd has announced that, as chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, he's going to do what he can to confiscate bonuses paid out on Wall Street. Write the man a nice letter, wouldja? I've always liked him. I know, I know, "some say" he benefited from his position, but I looked at the issue and he really didn't get anything more than any savvy consumer with some knowledge about the banking/mortgage industry would. Really. Plus, you want him to do this, right? So. Give the man a little love.

This is the kind of trickle-down I like to see. The man at the top says, "No, you're not doing that shit on my watch," and the people down the line say, "Hey, yeah, while we're at it, how about that stuff y'all stole last month? Give it back." And like dat. Srsly.

Now, Andrew Cuomo, NY AG, is going after Merrill Lynch and BofA to disgorge those "surprise" bonuses John Thain of Merrill Lynch paid out early to his minions after securing government financing for a takeover by BofA.

“No longer will this country stand for wasteful spending of tax dollars on bonuses for executives whose companies have taken huge losses and required taxpayer bailouts,” Cuomo said today in a statement about bonuses paid at Wall Street firms that received funds from the Troubled Asset Relief Program or TARP.

Well, hallelujah, motherfuckers, welcome to the Greased Pole of Impalement. I wanna hear what you sad sagging sacks of shit have to say about your shenanigans. Stand up in front of the people who are struggling to afford a roof over their children's heads and tell them why you thought it was OK to take $18 billion of their money for your bonuses.

Let's start with John Thain, who earned a salary of $750K and a cash bonus of $15 million in 2007. Satan only knows what the motherfucker earned in 2008, may his nuts fall off and be stolen by a squirrel.

Don't fuck with MY PRESIDENT, boys, he's been to the rodeo! Time for some pain meds followed by meditative drooling now. Feel free to tell me what you think.

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Entertainment: Inauguration/Farewell

OK, I'm really not into cutesy kiddy stuff, but yaknow what?



She's saying exactly what I'm thinking. Thanks, little girl!

I guess I don't need to tell y'all that the conservatives have their knickers in an almighty wad over this. Some skank named Amanda Carpenter is saying the kid will never get a job because of this video clip. Hey, Amanda! Let's hope they lay you off right soon so you can feel what it's like to not have a job. It's not something most of the rest of us joke about. It's part of our reality, thanks to Gee Dumbya McDrinkerson. Also, hopefully our recent turnout at the polls is going to take away from assholes like you the ability to threaten our gainful employment.

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Politics: You Owe It To Yourselves

Go on. Take Yahoo's bullshit InnerTubes poll and let them know how you feel about Bush's (Who? Yeah, I know, smartass.) performance as your President for eight (long, painful, endless) years.

Believe it or don't, it's currently running at, like, half and half. Half thinks he stinks and there's enough braindead bots who sharply disagree and think the sun shone out of his arsehole (to which all I can say is, y'all are Blinded by the Light).

You just know you don't have to ask how I voted. But I will tell if y'all asks nicely. Yaknow, with sugar on it.

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Entertainment: Inauguration/Farewell

Tom Tomorrow nails it. Go check it out on Salon.

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World: Gaza Brings Out Teh Stupid

Wherever they've been hiding. Although, being stupid, most of them are publicly flaunting their stupid in great revolting gobs.



For those of you who just can't bear to read the depressing news, we have Serious Cute at the end of this post. Go ahead. Skip to the video. See if I care.

Here, for example, walking dildo and successful Zippy the Pinhead impersonator Bill Kristol, a Wingnut Welfare recipient if I ever saw one, bleats about how Israel's invasion of Gaza is a great favour to Obama. I mean, c'mon, you worthless impostor of humanity. Why not pull off the mask and bodysuit and tell us all about relationships on your planet, someplace far, far away from our galaxy (I fervently hope)? Because by all that's holy you haven't a fucking compassionate bone in your body to come up with shite like this.

"If you care about the peace process you should want Israel to embarrass and humiliate Hamas. That's the only chance -- there would be no peace process if Hamas were governing Gaza.

You pathetic little pig. I can't wait for you and Bush and Dick and all of you worthless ambulatory turds to fall off the world stage. Break a leg, fella. In fact, break all of them. Jeeze!

People are dying in their hundreds and you and your fellow Neocons are burping up this crap. Meanwhile, your associates in the halls of power have used their remaining muscle to prevent an immediate ceasefire, preferring to turn a blind eye to reports of Israel firing on Red Cross personnel and vehicles, of Israel refusing to allow medical aid to reach the victims of their bombings, many of them little children.



Even as your other dirtbag friends are running ads on American TV networks begging for aid to Israel, which is the major recipient of US taxpayer money. Which they're using to bomb little children, pregnant women, sick, elderly, and disabled people. Meanwhile, protohuman slime molds named Jack Abramoff and Xtianist pastor Hagee are behind this whole ad scam. Knowing the two of them and their dubious associations, chances are if you send them any money it's going directly into their own bank accounts. People like Hagee could care less if the Jewish people are wiped out in a second holocaust, since that will bring them closer to the Rapture they all work towards and pray for.

Even as our 401(k)s are turning into 101(k)s, Raw Story reports that

The administration of President George W. Bush alone has provided over 21 billion dollars in U.S. security assistance over the last eight years, including 19 billion dollars in direct military aid as freebies.

So while we, the taxpayers, are cutting back on all our expenses, begrudging money for the movies or dinner out, forgoing new clothes, selling stuff we don't need or use, putting off vacations and needed home repairs, and even our goddamned health care — the Israeli government is getting billions of OUR dollars and! AND! using our latest and greatest military offerings to slaughter others in our names.

They're using our top-notch military hardware to retaliate against home-made rockets and bombs that "traumatize" people. Their response to these pitiful weapons, which are the epitome of FAIL, is to kill. For every Israeli killed so far, over 100 Palestinians have paid with their lives. The entire country is being punished for the acts of a few.

And you wonder why there is an al Qaeda. The article also states that while the U.S. military gives the latest weapons and weapons technology to Israel, it also sells such weapons (after they're tested on the Palestinians and the Lebanese by Israel) at hugely inflated prices to the Arab nations. That's a bitter pill to swallow, eh, knowing that you're subsidizing the killing of your co-religionists, or tribe, or fellow ethnics, or whatever you want to call them?

We don't even need to remind ourselves of the Israeli military's readiness and willingness to attack American troops, unarmed American protestors, and humanitarian aid workers and medical teams.

Meanwhile, malcontents in Lebanon have begun firing rockets into Northern Israel. Holy quacking duckshit. I can't entirely blame them, it's gotta be a small group or even random individuals who are sick of seeing what's happening to Gaza. The Israeli elections will be held in a month and the leaders are trying to terrify the people and play on their fears to win by outdoing each other in killing Palestinians. I guess some Lebanese feel strongly enough to do something about it. Hezbollah was quick to distance themselves from these acts, as was Hamas. Given the fact that in the last encounter between Lebanon and Israel, Hezbollah conducted a very disciplined campaign, I tend to believe them. Besides, it's a lousy three fucking shells, yaknow?

Meanwhile, our Congresscritters strive to prove that they have but one neuron between the lot of them, by offering "staunch and unwavering support for Israel [...] recognizing its "inalienable right" to defend itself from attacks by Hamas."

Give it a rest, you feeble fucks. You can't even take care of the shitload of business that's been dumped on your workdesk, and now you're all fighting to get up on the nearest table so you can wave your teenie weenies at the press. Shut the fuck up already. Get ready to prosecute Bush, Cheney, and the entire criminal cabal. Figure out what to do about the totally fucked military situation. Come up with green alternatives to the transport money cities and states are demanding. Figure out how more of us can get decent fucking health care. Close the tax loopholes that allow these fucking CEOs to assrape us all without the benefit of lube even as they send our jobs overseas in the fucking hundreds of thousands. Jesus fucking J.H. Christ and his black brother Harry! You've got me so fucking mad I can't even stop to take my pain meds. You worthless POS just voted your own selves a sweet fucking pay raise out of our pockets. Work for our goddamned money, you louts. The free ride is SO over.

That limpdick closeted fairy queen Mitch McConnell is prancing around on the stage allowing as how the war and deaths are all the fault of those nasty nasty Hamas Islamists. WTF is that about? Can't someone put a cork in him? Mitch, you ambulatory rectum, don't you have enough work to do?

Meanwhile, that motherfucking asshole (man, I'd love to put HIS dick in a box. I'd throw the rest of him into the compactor and mail the box to his Mrs.) Richard "Dick" Cheney has the outright fucking GALL to tell us that Bush's actions are not illegal because if they were he would've been impeached. What kind of circular logic is THAT, you infernal spawn of Satan? Wipe the blood off your chin before giving us your answer. Foul, ancient, walking rottenness. He demeans everything good, noble, admirable, and beautiful about humanity just by his existence. Dick, you and your rotten brood should be swept aside, root and branch, into the dustheap of history.

But wait, here's the best part: Darth has the unmitigated gall to tell us that he's a "warm, lovable" sort of guy who had hardly any influence at all in the WH. Georgie made all the decisions, he says now. Remember, this is the guy who admitted authorizing torture. Somebody must've put acid in his metamucil.

And as the number of Palestinians, mostly children, killed in Gaza climbs over 700, Tom Cruise had this to say about the death of Jett Travolta, son of his friend John Travolta. All death is horrific. Why aren't more people speaking out about the parents in Palestine who have to bury their children? Not to take away anything from Mr. Travolta's pain, I'm sure he's a terrific father and absolutely loves and adores his children, but are American children more valuable than Palestinian children? Where are all those "pro-life" people now when babies are being slaughtered halfway across the world? Starved to death, denied medical care, torn apart by bombs. Won't you people speak up? Or are only some children deserving of life?

Enough with ranting. Here's a cute chick we can all ogle:

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No Shortage of Teh Stupid

in this world. Oy vey. An Australian woman apparently decided to set her husband's penis on fire because she suspected him of sleeping with another woman.


Hello? Thanks to Lorena Bobbit, most of us are well aware that women from Third World countries are nowhere near as demure and easily dominated as Western men in search of mail-order brides think they are, but girlfriend? Was this necessary?

Sure, if you think your schweetie is schtupping someone else you can get kinda crazy, but seriously. That's the time to take a long walk until the fire in your brain goes out and you can think without "KILL!" appearing in big red letters in front of your eyes every ten seconds. If nothing else, think about your children. You made the mistake of marrying a serial schtupper, figure out how to fix the mistake without causing unnecessary grief and pain for your children.

I mean, seriously. If it's wrong for a man to break his girfriend's jaw because she's schtupping his best friend, it's just as wrong for a woman to set her boyfriend's dick on fire because he's schtupping her, I dunno, hairdresser. Or sister, even.

Plus, like, you killed him, yaknow? What's that about, ya dimbulb? She's got three kids with the guy and she kills him because he's screwing around? Listen, sister, if yer old man is screwing around, divorce the sonofabitch and keep the house and a big chunk of his income. You know, like Robin Williams says, divorce is "from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Between child support and alimony, he won't be able to keep the girlfriend happy.

Better yet, have an amicable divorce and walk away. Let him have his girlfriend. You find yourself someone else. Everybody's happy, most importantly the goddamn kids, because you know, this way, their daddy's kacked, YOU're the one who kacked him, and you'll probably spend a lot of time in jail. How's this helping the children?

But no, you, you rocket scientist, you had to pour methylated spirit all over his dick while he slept, and then set fire to him. The poor bastard suffered burns to 85 per cent of his body and died slowly and painfully in hospital 20 days later.

That's bad enough, but what does Mrs. Dim Bulb then do? She tells her neighbours that she only wanted to burn her husband's penis

"so it belongs to me and no one else," prosecutors claimed.

[...]

"It's just his penis I wanted to burn, I didn't mean this to happen," the Adelaide Advertiser quoted her as saying.

Jumpin' Jehosophat, woman, his penis belongs to him, not you, and not his goddamned girlfriend. And if you'd kept your mouth shut, at least some lawyer could have done something for your kids. Even if you don't care about anyone else, could you show some interest in your kids here?

And they say arranged marriages are the best. Whaddya wanna bet Mrs. Dim Bulb's marriage to Mr. Dim Bulb was arranged by their parents?

Oh, and hey, Mr. Dim Bulb, you're dead, and all, so I reckon I should refrain from thwapping you upside teh head with the Casa de Los Gatos Trademarked Golden Bat o'Clue, but you sure as hell were stupid fella. You're not some Western bride-buyer, you know damn well you should not be messing around on your wife or she will cut your nuts off. Why, it's practically a family tradition in some parts of the world. Fuck around on wife? Get your nuts removed.


So which head were you thinking with, that you actually closed your eyes and slept in the marital bed and the marital house? Like any sensible Indian man should do, if you're screwing around on the wifey-poo, for Christ's sake, sleep in the girlfriend's house, dammit. Or in a separate bedroom from wifey-poo. Preferably one with a strong door and a good lock that you keep firmly locked and bolted. And if you weren't schtupping someone else, then a pox upon ye for not sorting that out with your woman.

What kind of man creates this kind of golmal with three children in the house? You don't love your wife, divorce her. Hella lot better than ending up dead with the wife in jail and the kids being raised by relatives. Not to mention some furious neighbours who lost their house too in the ensuing inferno. Idiot.

In additional proof that Teh Cup of Teh Stupid Runneth Over, the Newport News is reporting that the recent drop in fuel prices is going to have an effect on truck and SUV sales — they will outsell cars for the first time since February. Manufacturers are, apparently, offering huge discounts, and teh stupid are rushing to buy. Listen, idiots: First off, please publicly identify yourselves with, I dunno, a BIG RED "S" for Stupid carved into your forehead. Then line up for a good thwack with the Trademarked Bat o'Clue. Because those gas prices will stay low only as long as consumption of gasoline stays low.

Once y'all start driving your Stupidmobiles, aka Suburban Assault Vehicles, in any number, you'll increase the rate of gasoline consumption, at which point, obeying the Laws of Supply and Demand, producers will raise the prices once more while you sit your fat ass in your latest metal behemoth of Stupid and yawp about how high gas prices are and it ain't right and there oughta be a LAAAAW!

There sure as fuck oughta — against Teh Stupid, and moreover, against self-replication by Teh Stupid.


Least, and also last, Gee Dumbya's Daddums, Gee Hell Dumbya, is actually flapping his gums about how his other worthless lump of flesh (or progeny if you prefer) deserves a shot at the Presidency.

Say fucking WHAT? Hello, are we talking about the dickhead who made all that fuss and bother about Terri Schiavo that caused thousands of otherwise ignorant apathetic and plain flat-out inattentive Americans to rush to get DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) provisions inserted in their Living Wills? The same fuckwit who is tied in to the belly-up death of Lehman Bros? Brother of the current Idiot 'n Thief and also of the other two criminals bearing the same last name? Let's see, one of those was tied to the death of Silverado S&L and the other was flogging some bogoid cheap-shit software that purported to "help kids learn" but in reality got a toehold in the public school system at enormous cost to us taxpayers through the "No Child's Bankbook Left Behind" act?

Is Shrub the Elder totally senile or only half in the toilet? Because, Daddums, your upper story is Gone, Baby, Gone if you think the natives will put up with any more of your vile and corrupt descendants in close proximity to the Treasury. Shit, it's gonna take at least a decade to clean up the crap your last cumwad got us in to.

Geez, is this whole family fucking delusional, or what?

From the article:

"I'd like to see him run. I'd like to see him be president some day," Bush the elder said.

The 41st president admitted, however, that there have probably been too many Bushes in the White House lately.

No shit, Sherlock. One was already one too many. Take the rest of your evil spawn to Paraguay and rot quietly in the jungle somewhere, why don't you? Yeesh. The thought of Jeb, who looks like he just stepped off the set of Deliverance, anywhere near the white house is enough to make me puke. Isn't he already in his sixties? In eight years' time, hopefully, he'll suffer from the same senile dementia now affecting both of his revolting parents.

In the meantime? People, please, P L E E Z don't forget who this SpoogeCustard is, and what he's done to the state of Florida, and what his brother and father have done to the US. If you can find it in your heart to elect that worthless wad of hair'nfat, well, hey. It's SO over.

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