Mint MorMoney is a Fucking Twat

Jesus Christ, this guy is a complete fucking twat.

And before you get on my case for calling him a Fucking Twat (which he IS), watch the entire video. Anybody here employed over the last 40 years? Remember when life was good, you worked hard, the boss gave you a bonus at the end of the year? Remember what happened around, oh, say, 2000? When companies started outsourcing jobs, and it seemed like raises kept dropping, or being eliminated altogether? And every year you were told there would be no bonus, or a reduced bonus? And then they started implementing performance targets for bonuses, so that it didn't matter how hard YOU worked, if your team, your group, your department, and your DIVISION didn't make their targets, you, the lowly schlub, could just kiss that bonus goodbye?

That's when Bain Capital was making Mint MorMoney all those millions. That's how come he has $300 million or more in his bank account, and you're lucky if you can feed the kids something that DOESN'T have rice, beans, or Hamburger Helper in it.

Mint MorMoney (copyright Helen Blazes)is a complete and total fucking twat. And if you want him as President, if you stay home and fail to vote for Barack Obama, don't you let me hear you whine ONCE, NOT FUCKING ONCE, about how there are no jobs and millionaires got tax breaks but you're paying more than ever. Because if you can't see that that's what he has planned, then YOU'RE a fucking twat, too, and a very STUPID fucking twat, at that.

Stumble It!

Caturday!

Well! Hasn't this been an exciting week!

• Bishop Willard "Mitt" RomneyCare started the week claiming to have created 100,000 jobs while at vulture corporation Bain Capital, but ended it whimpering something about "6,000 jobs."

• After claiming that Romney won the Iowa state caucus, the GOP had to reverse itself and announce that Santorum actually won (Headline: Santorum easily slides ahead?)

• Jon Huntsman (who? Oh, c'mon! You know! The guy who was polling at 1% or lower but the media still insisted he was in the race, even while refusing to let Buddy Roemer or Gary Johnson speak!) finally took his two million dollars worth of dental work and three hot daughters out of the public eye by announcing that he's dropping out of the race.

  In a slap-in-the-face to all the "liberals" who love him (because the Republicans/conservatives hate his motorcycling ass with a passion), he endorsed Bishop Willard. WTF, Jon? Y U treat us so bad, after telling us that schmuck was unelectable? Did the Temple Leaders threaten to take away your planet, or what?

• Rick Purreh finally took pity on a suffering America and took his moronic undereducated dumber-than-the-last-Texas-hick ass back to N*****head Ranch where I guess he's keeping the local coyotes in fear for their lives and asking God "Why? Why me, Lord?" as he weeps incoherently into his bourbon-and-branch.

  Whom did he endorse? None other than "amoral jewelry-debt piglet"* Newt Gingrich, the man with the plan for trinkets from Tiffany's.

• Meanwhile, the Godbag Faction of the Republican Party met last Sunday to anoint Santorum as their Chosen.

  No, not with santorum, you sick little puppies. In any event, those Fuckus on The Fambly turds, those Christianist Bible-bashers and homo-haters and misogynistic morons of Rightwingnuttia decided that their Not-MittRomney candidate would be Rick Santorum. These assholes were totes backing (P)Rick Perry just last week, so, talk about pivoting on a dime here. Faithless sluts.

• Perennial punching bag and media slut-moron Sarah Palin apparently has lost even more of her brain to whatever deadly disease was making her spew word salad.

  After being informed that Newt's second wife, Marianne Gingrich, would be interviewed by ABC right after the South Carolina Republican debates, Babble Spice snorted that this would help Gingrich soar. Puzzled media bobbleheads have finally figured out that she meant Newt's amoral and perverse sexual shenanigans might have left him a little *sore,* or something. **

• Over in Wisconsin, the Recall Walker campaign announced that it had received more (lotsmore) signatures than the minimum required to achieve their aim. Down, down, down goes Snotty Wanker, erstwhile governor of Wisconsin and rent-boy for the Koch Bros.

So, what's the deal, Republicans? Are y'all just tired of being a party, or what? Because this is some pretty weak fucking sauce, here, jes' sayin. I know we here at La Casa de Los Gatos have been saying for a while that President O could just cold phone it in, but, man? Do y'all have to make it so EASY for him? Y'all spent six years telling us he was a weak-ass n*****, a compromiser who caved on everything and apologised to everyone and bowed to foreign leaders and was morally weak. Meanwhile, he's been kicking y'alls asses nine ways to Sunday every day of the week.

I have heard Republicans telling me for six years or more about the fight against terrorism and how y'all are going to follow bin Laden to the gates of hell, and y'all know where he is and will take him out but only if we elect you (WTF? Treason much?). So, do we wanna talk about who might actually have taken bin Laden out? Because, you know, I don't remember that Republican President we had before Mr. Obama, you know, the one that NOBODY seems to want to talk about, I mean, they're *still* talking about Clinton and Carter, but you know, that guy, seems like everyone's done gone and forgotten about him, when he said he didn't care about bin Laden any more, and he disbanded the task force that was supposed to be looking for bin Laden, I don't recall ONE SINGLE Republican saying anything then. Not one word about following him to hell, or they will pay, or none of that shit. No, sir. None a that shit. And now Mr. Obama, he took out that Mr. bin Laden, and he took out that Mr. al-Zawahiri and he took out a whole bunch of these here, what the Republicans was calling "terrorists," round about ten years ago. He took them all out. And what do you suppose our fine Republican friends did about that? Did they say "Thank you, Mr. Obama"? Did they say "Thank you Mr. President, for keeping our country safe"? No, sirree, they did not. They said he illegally invaded a sovereign nation. These people, who had no problem with the US invading the sovereign nation of Iraq, which was NOT involved in any attacks against us, got all upset because Mr. Obama had to send a surgical strike team to take out the man who masterminded the most recent attack on American soil, who was being sheltered on Pakistani territory, by our "allies." Imagine that. Did you think you'd live to see the day when a bunch of "America, right or wrong! America, love it or leave it!" assholes would be more upset about the rights of those who shelter our enemies than about our right to pursue those enemies who kill our citizens?

And when he's not the Caveman-in-chief, he's supposed to be some kind of Superman who is singlehandedly preventing yon teabaggers from getting anything done while shoving unpopular measures down the collective throat of the American people. He's a Marxist, a Stalinist, a Fascist, and an Islamist, he controls the courts (which, nevertheless, stubbornly refuse to rule in his favour on certain issues, why, no one can say). He's using mind control techniques to hypnotize the weak willed sheep who are cowed by his bullish tactics even as they are seduced by the pork he proffers. Geez, no wonder we're obese. Half our metaphors are about spectator sports and the other half about food. Oh, NOEZ!! He's forcing states to take care of sick people, disabled people, poor people, babies and children who might be hungry, starving people, old people! How AWFUL!

What the FUCK kind of world are we living in where these nutbags can turn reality into something resembling sausage, i.e., chopped up, mixed up, and stuffed up a pig's anus? Seriously. There is a styful of pigs on the Republican side of this election. Fortunately, it's thinning. Still, the choices fucking suck.

So it's off to Florida for Mittens and Newt and Rick Santorum and Ron Paul, while the rest of America stabs itself in the eye with a fork over and over and over, just to dull the pain.

Happy Caturday, y'all!

* Forever indebted to Kirsten Boyd Johnston of Wonkette for the so-fitting sobriquet of "amoral jewelry-debt piglet" for Newtie.
** Apparently, Bobblehead Barbie was correct, and them South Carolinians just LERVE them some amoral pigfuckery of the adulterous, wife-dumping, intern-humping, vow-breaking Nouveau Papist variety. Newt Gingrich just won South Carolina.

Stumble It!

Attack Of The Killer Slimeballs

It's here at last! The war of the Horrible Wealthy Old White Male Republicans that will culminate in the re-election of Barack H. Obama in about ten months. And firing the opening shots is none other than everybody's favourite lard-assed pasty cannonball, Newton Leroy GinGrinch, aiming to take down Bishop Willard "Magic Underwear Mitt" Romney.

Check it out. Very nicely done, no?

Whaddya think? Can Mittens survive this? And the Bain Capital attacks?

Stumble It!

For All Our Irish Friends

Wherever they may be:

Our very own part-Irish President goes HOME to claim his heritage! President O'Bama, whose ancestors come from all over our world and whose relatives live in every part of it.

Stumble It!

Fuck you very much, Republicans

I don't know if anyone else is paying attention to Herb Cain's harassapalooza, but srsly. This has to be THE fucking awfulest Republican presidential candidate lineup EVAH. First he claims it's all a bunch of lies, then he claimed he remembered exactly what happened and it was a whole lotta nothing, and now three OTHER women have come out to say he harassed them TOO. And his wife is still the Invisible Woman (has anyone seen Mrs. Herman Cain? IS there a Mrs. Herman Cain?).

Meanwhile, Rick DinglePerry's on some kinda good drugs, and I mean GOOD drugs, that motherfucker wants to lerve on New Hampshire so bad he can hardly even stand up anymore. I'll post that viral video in a day or so. Why the fuck not? It sure as hell makes me want to gag something horrible. Might's well share the pain. Y'all enjoy this heah now. And just remember, it COULD be worse. You could already be having to call one of these dumb motherfuckers "Mister President." Dear god, please, no.

Sing along with me, children!

Stumble It!

Sing Along With Me, Children

Sweet mother of GAWD, the Republican lineup for the 2012 elections is getting worse by the minute. I'm afraid to laugh as hard as I want to in case I piss myself.

Then along came Ms. Mollybean1 and posted SadnMad's delightful little ditty that sums the motherfuckers up pretty accurately, don'tyathink?



I mean, Christ, look at this pack of dimbulb stooges! The President can just phone it in at this rate, yes?

Stumble It!

Happy Holi!

To all our Indian readers. The whole two of you. Srsly.

Sarah Palin goes to India, falls flat on ass. Listen and weep. Thank god this dimbo is not VP today.



More amusement here.

Stumble It!

Politics: Incitement to Violence

ICHC FTLOL

The Foofaraw-Of-The-Day (hereinafter FoTD) was that some motherfucking idiot butthole surfer decided to create a poll asking whether his fellow FaceBookers thought that President Obama deserved assassination.

For those who don't use FaceBook, lots and lots of third-party developers write little apps that you can use to do silly stuff on FB, like create stupid polls that actually go to your FB account and pull all kinds of data about you and your friends and then sell it to people who want to pay money to find out what kind of people use FB and how dumb they are and also how likely to pay money for the dumb things these people want to sell them.

So there's this third-party app that lets you create polls. And most of the polls are really silly, harmless stuff like "What flavour of ice-cream are you?" and "Do you wear frilly panties?" and shit like that.

Well, this bright soul (not) decides to create this fucking poll about whether the President should be assassinated, and the choices it gives you are (Yes), (Maybe), (If he cuts my healthcare), and (No).

Some 700 or so other idiots found this poll and decided to take it. Well, actually, the first person to take it probably sent it to five other friends, who sent it to 25 other friends, and it snowballed. To the credit of most of the idiots who took it, the answer was NO by a staggering margin. And the total number of responses was very small in terms of the total number of users on FB. And, the Internets responded by reporting the dumb motherfucker to the Secret Service.

To FB's credit, they immediately suspended polls when this was brought to their attention. They then had a little talk with the app developer, asking him to fix his code so that no one could ever do such a revoltingly swinish thing again. Which he is, I believe, doing as we squeak. They also had their little session with the Secret Service and, no doubt, have turned over captured IP addresses and the like.

Welp. It won't be too long before the Men In Black have a little conversation with the feckin' eejit who wrote that feckin' poll, will it, now?



Good luck, you scum-sucking swine. You're going to need all of it that you can get. Not that we think you should be allowed much of anything, with the exception of bread, water, and shelter from the elements in a jail cell for some years, but hey. You get your day in court while the prosecutor tries to prove you guilty.

Maybe this will stop the likes of Annhole Coulter, Glen Blech, and Flush Rimbowl from making their unacceptable and unwarranted cracks about poisoning Supreme Court Justices, or the Speaker of the House, or shooting at the Speaker or the President.

Listen up, Fuckwits, one and all: US Code TITLE 18 PART I CHAPTER 115 § 2385:

Whoever knowingly or willfully advocates, abets, advises, or teaches the duty, necessity, desirability, or propriety of overthrowing or destroying the government of the United States or the government of any State, Territory, District or Possession thereof, or the government of any political subdivision therein, by force or violence, or by the assassination of any officer of any such government; or
Whoever, with intent to cause the overthrow or destruction of any such government, prints, publishes, edits, issues, circulates, sells, distributes, or publicly displays any written or printed matter advocating, advising, or teaching the duty, necessity, desirability, or propriety of overthrowing or destroying any government in the United States by force or violence, or attempts to do so; or
Whoever organizes or helps or attempts to organize any society, group, or assembly of persons who teach, advocate, or encourage the overthrow or destruction of any such government by force or violence; or becomes or is a member of, or affiliates with, any such society, group, or assembly of persons, knowing the purposes thereof—
Shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both, and shall be ineligible for employment by the United States or any department or agency thereof, for the five years next following his conviction.
If two or more persons conspire to commit any offense named in this section, each shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both, and shall be ineligible for employment by the United States or any department or agency thereof, for the five years next following his conviction.
As used in this section, the terms “organizes” and “organize”, with respect to any society, group, or assembly of persons, include the recruiting of new members, the forming of new units, and the regrouping or expansion of existing clubs, classes, and other units of such society, group, or assembly of persons.

So before you form into astroturfer organizations carrying placards advocating the violent overthrow of the government, please note that it is a fucking CRIME as defined by law. There are penalties for this kind of hate speech. You can't run around flapping your ugly gobs about killing people without consequences.

Do you understand, you cone-headed dimwits? The Free Speech amendment to the Constitution gives you the right PEACEABLY to assemble. Read it, idiots:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

If you're not assembling PEACEABLY, without guns or hate speech or threats or incitements to crime, well, there are consequences for that kind of behaviour. You have to take responsibility for your bullshit, assholes. Better start sending money to the ACLU now, motherfuckers, because they're the only ones that will bail your oversized useless lardy asses out of the hoosegow.

Moreover, these heah threats you're making against your freely and fairly elected President? That shit is laid out in the same fucking code, you worthless buttfucks. Read it and meep: TITLE 18 PART I CHAPTER 41 § 871.

Threats against President and successors to the Presidency

(a) Whoever knowingly and willfully deposits for conveyance in the mail or for a delivery from any post office or by any letter carrier any letter, paper, writing, print, missive, or document containing any threat to take the life of, to kidnap, or to inflict bodily harm upon the President of the United States, the President-elect, the Vice President or other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President of the United States, or the Vice President-elect, or knowingly and willfully otherwise makes any such threat against the President, President-elect, Vice President or other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President, or Vice President-elect, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.
(b) The terms “President-elect” and “Vice President-elect” as used in this section shall mean such persons as are the apparent successful candidates for the offices of President and Vice President, respectively, as ascertained from the results of the general elections held to determine the electors of President and Vice President in accordance with title 3, United States Code, sections 1 and 2. The phrase “other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President” as used in this section shall mean the person next in the order of succession to act as President in accordance with title 3, United States Code, sections 19 and 20.

OK, assholes? Didja get that? Do you understand the words of more than one syllable here? The next time one of you motherfuckers starts making that cocksucking pout of the lips and spouting off about the tree of liberty being watered with the blood of tyrants? Y'awl better be prepared to see some Men In Black coming through the front door, the back door, or both.

What part of PEACEABLY TO ASSEMBLE do you pointy-headed assholes not get? "Peaceably to assemble" does not mean "bring your fucking Uzis and AK-47s to the town hall and terrify little children and old ladies," do you get that yet?



Because by all you fucking hold holy, you brainless walking excrement, if you harm one hair on the head of our lawfully elected President, our Vice-President, or our Speaker of the House, be prepared for some real patriots to kick the holy fucking shit out of your cheetos-laden ass.

Stumble It!

No Shortage of Teh Stupid

in this world. Oy vey. An Australian woman apparently decided to set her husband's penis on fire because she suspected him of sleeping with another woman.


Hello? Thanks to Lorena Bobbit, most of us are well aware that women from Third World countries are nowhere near as demure and easily dominated as Western men in search of mail-order brides think they are, but girlfriend? Was this necessary?

Sure, if you think your schweetie is schtupping someone else you can get kinda crazy, but seriously. That's the time to take a long walk until the fire in your brain goes out and you can think without "KILL!" appearing in big red letters in front of your eyes every ten seconds. If nothing else, think about your children. You made the mistake of marrying a serial schtupper, figure out how to fix the mistake without causing unnecessary grief and pain for your children.

I mean, seriously. If it's wrong for a man to break his girfriend's jaw because she's schtupping his best friend, it's just as wrong for a woman to set her boyfriend's dick on fire because he's schtupping her, I dunno, hairdresser. Or sister, even.

Plus, like, you killed him, yaknow? What's that about, ya dimbulb? She's got three kids with the guy and she kills him because he's screwing around? Listen, sister, if yer old man is screwing around, divorce the sonofabitch and keep the house and a big chunk of his income. You know, like Robin Williams says, divorce is "from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Between child support and alimony, he won't be able to keep the girlfriend happy.

Better yet, have an amicable divorce and walk away. Let him have his girlfriend. You find yourself someone else. Everybody's happy, most importantly the goddamn kids, because you know, this way, their daddy's kacked, YOU're the one who kacked him, and you'll probably spend a lot of time in jail. How's this helping the children?

But no, you, you rocket scientist, you had to pour methylated spirit all over his dick while he slept, and then set fire to him. The poor bastard suffered burns to 85 per cent of his body and died slowly and painfully in hospital 20 days later.

That's bad enough, but what does Mrs. Dim Bulb then do? She tells her neighbours that she only wanted to burn her husband's penis

"so it belongs to me and no one else," prosecutors claimed.

[...]

"It's just his penis I wanted to burn, I didn't mean this to happen," the Adelaide Advertiser quoted her as saying.

Jumpin' Jehosophat, woman, his penis belongs to him, not you, and not his goddamned girlfriend. And if you'd kept your mouth shut, at least some lawyer could have done something for your kids. Even if you don't care about anyone else, could you show some interest in your kids here?

And they say arranged marriages are the best. Whaddya wanna bet Mrs. Dim Bulb's marriage to Mr. Dim Bulb was arranged by their parents?

Oh, and hey, Mr. Dim Bulb, you're dead, and all, so I reckon I should refrain from thwapping you upside teh head with the Casa de Los Gatos Trademarked Golden Bat o'Clue, but you sure as hell were stupid fella. You're not some Western bride-buyer, you know damn well you should not be messing around on your wife or she will cut your nuts off. Why, it's practically a family tradition in some parts of the world. Fuck around on wife? Get your nuts removed.


So which head were you thinking with, that you actually closed your eyes and slept in the marital bed and the marital house? Like any sensible Indian man should do, if you're screwing around on the wifey-poo, for Christ's sake, sleep in the girlfriend's house, dammit. Or in a separate bedroom from wifey-poo. Preferably one with a strong door and a good lock that you keep firmly locked and bolted. And if you weren't schtupping someone else, then a pox upon ye for not sorting that out with your woman.

What kind of man creates this kind of golmal with three children in the house? You don't love your wife, divorce her. Hella lot better than ending up dead with the wife in jail and the kids being raised by relatives. Not to mention some furious neighbours who lost their house too in the ensuing inferno. Idiot.

In additional proof that Teh Cup of Teh Stupid Runneth Over, the Newport News is reporting that the recent drop in fuel prices is going to have an effect on truck and SUV sales — they will outsell cars for the first time since February. Manufacturers are, apparently, offering huge discounts, and teh stupid are rushing to buy. Listen, idiots: First off, please publicly identify yourselves with, I dunno, a BIG RED "S" for Stupid carved into your forehead. Then line up for a good thwack with the Trademarked Bat o'Clue. Because those gas prices will stay low only as long as consumption of gasoline stays low.

Once y'all start driving your Stupidmobiles, aka Suburban Assault Vehicles, in any number, you'll increase the rate of gasoline consumption, at which point, obeying the Laws of Supply and Demand, producers will raise the prices once more while you sit your fat ass in your latest metal behemoth of Stupid and yawp about how high gas prices are and it ain't right and there oughta be a LAAAAW!

There sure as fuck oughta — against Teh Stupid, and moreover, against self-replication by Teh Stupid.


Least, and also last, Gee Dumbya's Daddums, Gee Hell Dumbya, is actually flapping his gums about how his other worthless lump of flesh (or progeny if you prefer) deserves a shot at the Presidency.

Say fucking WHAT? Hello, are we talking about the dickhead who made all that fuss and bother about Terri Schiavo that caused thousands of otherwise ignorant apathetic and plain flat-out inattentive Americans to rush to get DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) provisions inserted in their Living Wills? The same fuckwit who is tied in to the belly-up death of Lehman Bros? Brother of the current Idiot 'n Thief and also of the other two criminals bearing the same last name? Let's see, one of those was tied to the death of Silverado S&L and the other was flogging some bogoid cheap-shit software that purported to "help kids learn" but in reality got a toehold in the public school system at enormous cost to us taxpayers through the "No Child's Bankbook Left Behind" act?

Is Shrub the Elder totally senile or only half in the toilet? Because, Daddums, your upper story is Gone, Baby, Gone if you think the natives will put up with any more of your vile and corrupt descendants in close proximity to the Treasury. Shit, it's gonna take at least a decade to clean up the crap your last cumwad got us in to.

Geez, is this whole family fucking delusional, or what?

From the article:

"I'd like to see him run. I'd like to see him be president some day," Bush the elder said.

The 41st president admitted, however, that there have probably been too many Bushes in the White House lately.

No shit, Sherlock. One was already one too many. Take the rest of your evil spawn to Paraguay and rot quietly in the jungle somewhere, why don't you? Yeesh. The thought of Jeb, who looks like he just stepped off the set of Deliverance, anywhere near the white house is enough to make me puke. Isn't he already in his sixties? In eight years' time, hopefully, he'll suffer from the same senile dementia now affecting both of his revolting parents.

In the meantime? People, please, P L E E Z don't forget who this SpoogeCustard is, and what he's done to the state of Florida, and what his brother and father have done to the US. If you can find it in your heart to elect that worthless wad of hair'nfat, well, hey. It's SO over.

Stumble It!

Politics: The Haramzada Gets The Joota

By now, the entire civilized (and possibly even some of the less-civilized) world has heard about Muntadar al-Zaidi, the plucky Iraqi journalist who dared to tell Bush exactly what many Iraqis thought of his "War on Terra" in Iraq.

In case anyone out there has a very very short attention span, Muntadar al-Zaidi is the guy who yelled "This is from the widows and orphans of Iraq, you dog," or something very like it, at Georgie while flinging both of his shoes at the Fratboy in Chief.



Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard people say repeatedly that the man should have been more ... restrained? (If he wasn't before, he sure as fuck is now, lemme tellya. As in, imprisoned with his hands and feet tied up either before, during, or after the hella beating he took for, um, voting with his feet. Or his footgear, at least.) al-Zaidi's current status is unknown. An Iraqi judge has vowed to conduct an inquiry into the assault on Mr. al-Zaidi. Code Pink has sponsored a petition to support the gentleman, if you care to sign up.

On the lighter side, some kind soul has set up a Web site to thank Mr. al-Zaidi for his fateful shoe-throw.

Unfortunately, the idiots who arrested al-Zaidi destroyed his shoes in the "search" for explosives they conducted upon said footwear. They could have been between $100,000 and $10,000,000 richer today if they'd squirreled one or both away. Muntadar's brother, Dargham al-Zaidi, states that his brother bought Iraqi-made shoes for the purpose. However, a Turkish company, one Baydan Ayakkabicilik San. & Tic. (or Baydan Shoes, in English) claims that they are the designer and maker of the shoe in question and are happy to announce that their sales have shot up so much, they're looking into TV advertising in the coming year. To which, Americans mired in financial distress at the holiday season, must shrug and retort, "Well, at least he's helping someone's economy.

Never let it be said, however, that anyone has passed up an opportunity to make money off this supposed insult to Teh Leader of Teh Free (??) World. The entrepreneurial spirit thrives in the bosom of one Kenney Jacob, who has posted here for your further enjoyment the "Throw Shoe at Bush" game, one that we all here at La Casa de Los Gatos highly recommend, irritating music and all.

If you want to yell at the Haramzada in Arabic at the same time, try this site. Wired has a nice piece (complete with flash games) on the plethora of other Concerned Citizens and Furrners who felt called upon to memorialize the Idiot'nThief's, um, booting. And DuckDuckBush lets you throw lots of other fun stuff at Der Dumbkopf, but not, alas, scheiss. However, they do let you suggest other things to throw, so if anyone sees fit to head over there with suggestions, hey.

To all of those who are planning to get your knickers in knots about the disrespect this post and all those linked hereto are showing to the President of the U.S.A., I'd like to point out that the somewhere between four and five thousand of your fellow citizens who are dead and the estimated 100,000 maimed and injured are probably wishing they'd been able to hurl something more painful. Four million Iraqis are refugees inside and outside their own country, and I'll bet they'd like to be in on the throwing. Add the more than one million Iraqi, Afghani, and Pakistani dead and the countless numbers of maimed and injured. Don't forget the one in seven who can't buy sufficient food for themselves and their families, the children who are literally dying of malnutrition, and the uncounted number who are being attacked on the basis of gender, sexual preference, or other failure to conform to the hardline Islamist nutcases we have put in power.

If they could do anything they wanted to the man they consider responsible for the death, disability, disappearance, and torture of their loved ones, I don't think they'll be reaching for a mere shoe.

Note: Although many translate haramzada as "bastard," that translation is incorrect. Haram is an Arabic word meaning "unclean." Think treyf. Treyf is a Hebrew word that is applied to things that are forbidden under the Mosaic laws. Haram is the Arabic equivalent. Thus, dogs are haram (though not windhounds, search me); pigs or anything made of them is haram; bottom-dwelling seafood is haram. Zada is a Farsi word meaning "son of." (The female equivalent would be zadi.)

Joota is a Hindi word meaning shoe, or shoes. Although some of you may remember having heard the old filmi song, Mera joota hai Japani, we would like to take this opportunity to point out to you that an updated version is being created for the InterTubes, titled Mera joota hai Iraqi.

For those who wonder about the significance of throwing a shoe or two at Gee Dumbya, kindly consult Salman Rushdie's brilliant novel, Shame, in which he recounts the creation of a garland of shoes as suitable wear for the shameless females Munni, Chunni, and Bunny, who chose to become pregnant without the benefit of that holy matrimony which our straight brothers and sisters so strenuously deny to their gay and lesbian siblings.

Finally, some wise soul has recommended that those who agree with Mr. al-Zaidi instantly mail an old shoe or two to Preznitwit Booooosh, at the white house. DO IT NOW so them shoes don't end up on President Obama's lawn. You might want to put a note on the package like "If unable to deliver before 01/15/2009, please return to" and put the nearest Goodwill store's address on it. Or something.

Thanks to FOTPC and Ms. Manitoba for holding down the fort while I fought with lawyers, doctors, insurance company scumbags, and pain medication. That new knee is looking more likely in the coming year!

Stumble It!

World: Counting the Dead in Mumbai

Amiran White/NYT

Raw Story is reporting that 195 people lost their lives in the attacks on Mumbai, the financial and showbiz heart of India. The number includes 26 foreigners and 15 of the security forces who fought them. Eleven terrorists were also killed, and one terrorist, a Pakistani national, is in custody.

The Times of India is reporting that the captured terrorist has told his police interrogators that the terrorists received assistance from locals in Mumbai. Given the extreme carnage and destruction in Mumbai carried out by a mere dozen terrorists, it is possible that a significant number of terrorists got away and blended in to the local population. Sources among the survivors have claimed that the terrorists appeared to be quite familiar with the layout of the hotels they took over. However, survivors of violent incidents are not the most reliable source of evidence.

Also, given interrogation methods favoured by the Indian police, it is quite possible that the suspect in custody is telling them whatever he thinks they want to hear. Other things the suspect, the unfortunate Azam Amir Kasab, has told the police: The terrorists' specific mission was to target Israelis to avenge atrocities on Palestinians.

This is why, he claims, they attacked Nariman House. Times of India's sources said Kasab's colleagues killed in the operation had stayed in Nariman House earlier. Interesting. How would Muslims be able to rent in Nariman House, a building owned by an Israeli businessman who rented only to Jews?

Also, the dead terrorists who had previously stayed at Nariman House assumed the identities of Malaysian students. Does this mean that Malaysians are involved? Or is the guy just saying whatever comes to mind?

Meanwhile, the Independent reported on Friday that two of the arrested gunmen appear to have been Britons of Pakistani descent. Since there is only one gunman in custody, it is clear that some sort of misunderstanding occurred. Moreover, the unfortunate Kasab has given the names of all his colleagues at this point and claimed that they are all from Pakistan (although that claim may embrace a multitude of sins, given that many individuals who are Pakistani or Indian or Chinese by ethnicity but citizens of the U.S., UK, or any other nation, often make trips to the old country to visit friends or relatives, or merely to ascertain their cultural roots.

The foreigners killed appear to have come from various nations, including Mauritania, Singapore, and Cyprus. Earlier reports that the terrorists specifically targeted U.S. and U.K. passport holders appear to be incorrect.

Some 300 people were injured. The terrorists, who appear to have been well-trained in military tactics, well-armed and provisioned for exactly such a battle, took three buildings — Taj Mahal Palace & Tower Hotel, Oberoi and Trident Hotels, and Nariman House, the last being a building owned by an Israeli who rented to Chabad-Lubavitchers. Apparently, some of the Lubavitchers were U.S. citizens.

All eight inhabitants of Nariman House were killed before Indian commandos retook the building. The terrorists also targeted a hospital and the main Mumbai railway station. The New York Times is reporting that the terrorists immediately killed everyone they came across in the various buildings they invaded, although they allowed security forces to assume that they had taken hostages. The terrorists also fired randomly at people on the street and in facing buildings, killing several bystanders whose only crime appeared to be being within the line of fire.

CNN is reporting that the terrorists had planned on killing 5,000 people.

U.S. intelligence is stating that it has no firm opinion as to who is behind the attacks. According to the NYT, the Indian government seems to believe that Pakistan's intelligence agency, the ISI, assisted the Lashkar e Taiba, or LeT, a militant Islamic group in Pakistan, in carrying out the attacks.

The terrorists claimed membership of the "Deccan Mujahideen." The Deccan is the mountainous plateau that divides North and Central India from South India. Mujahideen roughly translates to "freedom fighters." The group has not been involved in previous incidents and appears to be virtually unknown.

Indian security forces based their suspicions on the discovery of a boat adrift off the coast of Mumbai. The captain of the boat was discovered bound, face-down on the deck, dead. Four crew members are missing; and the logs from cell-phones retrieved from the boat indicate that they had been used to call Jalalabad, in Pakistan. Indian security have also, according to the Times of India, recovered multiple identity and credit cards from many different organizations. The level of sophistication involved is believed to indicate ISI involvement.

The current leader of Pakistan, best known for being the husband of Benazir "Pinkie" Bhutto, the corrupt Asif Ali Zardari, has warned India against holding Pakistan responsible while simultaneously, through the other side of his neck, warning Pakistani militant groups of a strict response should any of them be found responsible.

Bruce Riedel, a former CIA officer, advisor to President-elect Barack Obama, as well as previous presidents, and a supposed expert on the Middle-East and South Asia, claimed in his book, The Search for al-Qaeda, that Usama bin Laden assisted the ISI in developing LeT. A devastating attack on India's Parliament was carried out in 2001 by another terrorist group, Jaish e Mohammad, also apparently in collusion with the ISI. It is not clear at this time which of these two terrorist organizations is behind the current attack.

The ISI has long operated as an independent force in Pakistan. It is controlled by no one and beholden, apparently, only to U.S. military and intelligence who supply it with arms and aid. It has been instrumental in the downfall of politicians who have not toed its line. It is quite possible that the ISI, acting on its own, planned and executed the attack on Mumbai with the intent to destabilize relations between India and Pakistan: an attempt that may well suceed, given the increase in such incidents since George W. Bush first took power.

For evidence of such increase in terrorism, see Rep. Henry Waxman's letter to Colin Powell written in 2004. The letter points out that while the misadministration of Gee Dumbya manipulated data to make it appear as if terrorist incidents decreased during his ill-favoured reign, the underlying data make it clear that the number of incidents had actually increased.

The only good news that has come out of this is that President-elect Barack Obama has already formed and announced an emergency advisory team to deal with intelligence received on the Mumbai situation. However, unfortunately, Obama does not assume the reins of power for a little over fifty days as yet, during which time the Idiot-in-Chief can fuck the situation up in a hundred different ways.

And before I forget - thank you, George, for leaving the world in the shitty state it's in. We couldn't have done it without you, ya little schmuck. While you bombed the crap out of women and children in Iraq, destroying the cradle of civilization, al-Qaeda had plenty of time to build up in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Thanks.

Stumble It!

The Difference

Between the current Preznitwit:

Bushes Send Out Christmas-Themed Hannukah Cards

AP/Lawrence Jackson

Dim Son making faces at the Global Summit in Peru. Thank TPTB this is his last foreign trip. Perhaps the world will forget he ever existed, and soon.

and our future President:

"President-Elect Obama strongly condemns today's terrorist attacks in Mumbai, and his thoughts and prayers are with the victims, their families, and the people of India. These coordinated attacks on innocent civilians demonstrate the grave and urgent threat of terrorism. The United States must continue to strengthen our partnerships with India and nations around the world to root out and destroy terrorist networks. We stand with the people of India, whose democracy will prove far more resilient than the hateful ideology that led to these attacks[,...]."

Brooke Anderson, Chief National Security Spokesperson

Picture from The Huffington Post

Our Future President and the First Family handing out Thanksgiving food to the needy at their local food bank. That's some Family values we can get behind. Gotta go hand out Thanksgiving dinner to los gatos!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of yez! Have a wonderful time with your loved ones in grateful enjoyment of Nature's bounty. Stay warm and safe and drive carefully.

La Casa de Los Gatos wishes you the best.

Stumble It!

2008 Elections: The New Chief of Staff

President Obama roasts Rahm Emanuel:



We approve that deadpan delivery. And of course, that line about "Somebody with a weird name like Rahm Emanuel getting elected to Congress ..." and adopting Machiavelli's Prince for dance.

Stumble It!

2008 Elections: How Many Voted?

How interesting. According to infoplease, nearly 62 per cent of the electorate turned out to vote on Tuesday.

And a very good job they did. Thank you, people. For our new President. Who has proved that the grass will not grow up under his feet, as he (tired as he must be after that grueling 2-year-long effort) starts work on the enormous task that awaits him.

He's already been attending daily security briefings. He's begun the task of picking his Cabinet, carefully vetting each and every pick. He's spoken with various foreign leaders to begin the arduous task of rebuilding America's image abroad and to lay the groundwork for a consensus on an end to nuclear proliferation. Today, he's giving a press conference. He's in the midst of a conference with a broad and representative range of economic advisers even as we speak.

No brush-trimming lengthy vacations for our new President! He started work on this job almost immediately after the old job ended!

Stumble It!

2008 Elections: Obama Wows Teh World

In case you were wondering how other people felt about you, America!


Go here and see the rest for yourself. The last time the world came together on America's behalf was on 9/11, when our fellow humans lit candles and cried with us for our loss. Bush managed to alienate them all pretty effectively within months.

Today they join again to celebrate for us. We did the right thing for ourselves, and for the rest of the world. Thank you, America, for giving us President Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States.

Stumble It!

A New Day, America!

Yes, sirree. It's done. It's over. Well, the first part of it, anyway. I want to thank everyone who put up with all the screaming, hair-pulling, whining, crying, breast-beating, head-banging, and plain old shouting out loud about the elections. Them's over and done with and now we rest for a day before putting on our boots and gloves for the REAL task of raking out the filth left behind by Those Who Must Never Be Named (except, perhaps, to call them ambulatory purulence, and other such affectionate (NOT) monickers).

YES WE DID!

La Casa de Los Gatos received this email from the Obama campaign:

I'm about to head to Grant Park to talk to everyone gathered there, but I wanted to write to you first.

We just made history.

And I don't want you to forget how we did it.

You made history every single day during this campaign -- every day you knocked on doors, made a donation, or talked to your family, friends, and neighbors about why you believe it's time for change.

I want to thank all of you who gave your time, talent, and passion to this campaign.

We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I'll be in touch soon about what comes next.

But I want to be very clear about one thing...

All of this happened because of you.

Thank you,

Barack

Let us just say, sure, we know President Obama didn't write this himself. But any candidate — any politician — who is so mindful of the human touch, the small courtesies, the common man that s/he is supposed to represent — such a person is both politically shrewd and brilliant.


From here on in, La Casa de Los Gatos is back to normal reportage. Things political, social, national and international, scientific, environmental, and decidedly feline. It is a day of joy. Thank you all, peoples. For doing the right thing. For making this historic day possible. For putting up with the ranting and raving at this fine blog. Stay tuned. Starting tomorrow, we're back to work as your full-time source of all things worth ranting or laughing about.

Stumble It!

2008 Elections: The Right Temperament

No sooner had we posted something in honor of Barack Obama's wonderful grandmother when a fellow Digger posted a link to this clip:



Poor man. He lost his father while still a baby, then lost him again to death while young; then he lost his mother to cancer. Not too long after that, he lost his beloved grandfather. Now he's lost the last relative of the older generation, his beloved grandmother, Toot. His grandparents on both sides, dead. His parents, dead. And he's still so young.


Our respect for this man grows every day. Despite this deeply felt blow at this inopportune time, he was back on the stump today. And though he shed tears for his grandmother, publicly, unashamedly, not for a minute did his voice waver. He did not ask for sympathy or to be excused from the burden he took upon himself. When our Gran died, we were upset for weeks. When Mum died, despite our terrible decades-long acrimonious relationship, we suffered. Couldn't sleep, puzzled by the grief and mourning.


Tomorrow, perhaps, he'll be able to turn to his wife, his steadfast companion and dearest love, for the comfort he needs. Today, for the first time in this two-year-long campaign, he looked old, and tired, and bereft.



Bring it home tomorrow, people. For Barack and for Toot and for a better tomorrow. For change, the change we so desperately need.

Stumble It!

2008 Elections: Vote!

Grandmas occupy a very special place in most of their grandchildren's hearts. Oh, sure, there's the occasional grandmother who is a bitch on wheels with a gun AND a whip. But in general, grandmothers, having done all the hard work of raising their own children, find their real joy in lavishing their affection on their children's children.

Our grandmother was a wicked old woman, and we loved her dearly. She smoked the stinkiest black cigars and drank only black coffee, a legacy of World War II when milk was expensive and hard to come by. She stood four feet nine inches tall, and often lectured us on how smoking would stunt our growth, while puffing away at her stogy. She was a fabulous cook who could make a heavenly meal out of ancient cabbage, a handful or two of dried beans, spinach picked from her own garden, home-made cows' milk cheese, and a little rice. She grew her own coconuts. She told our mother that she didn't have to raise us, just spoil us rotten and then hand us back to our parents to deal with. (She was wicked, just wicked!) And we loved her with all our heart and soul.

So today our hearts go out to Senator Obama on hearing that his beloved Toot, his grandma, the woman who raised his mother and then raised him, lost her long and painful battle with cancer just one day before his election to the presidency.



As you can see, Madelyn and Stanley Dunham were very proud of their boy. So much love in those hugs, those faces, those expressions. It's so sad that she can't be here to see the result of all her hard work in raising her daughter and then her grandson. She dreamed big for her grandson, and she would have been very happy when he walked into the White House. Our condolences Senator, to you and your lovely wife and children, to your sister and her husband and children, on this deep loss.

So all of you who have a grandma you love? Get out there and VOTE for Obama! And all you grandmas? Vote Obama for your grandbabies, so that the world they inherit will be better than the one you know. All you men and women whose parents helped your raise your kids? Vote for Obama so your parents' efforts will be rewarded with their Social Security benefits remaining intact, and their health care being decent, they earned it.

This is for our own beloved Gran who died twenty years ago. She will always be missed. And for Madelyn Dunham, who raised such a fine grandchild to bring hope to so many people.

Stumble It!

2008 Elections: Vote!

Well, now, when ya think of it, he certainly sounds Irish, doesn't he? O'Bama! We knew it all along!



Truth be told, he does come of Irish ancestry. Enjoy! And if you can't stand the thought of voting for someone of African descent, vote for the Irish part!

Stumble It!

2008 Elections: Vote!

La Casa de Los Gatos belongs to an earlier period in musical history, but found this video clip immensely entertaining:



Please feel free to pass it around. The creator would like EVERYONE to hear it. It certainly needs to be heard by all the slackarses who haven't voted yet.

Obama in '08!

Stumble It!