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Saturday, July 19, 2008

Politics: Don't Go Away Mad

Just go away.

McClatchy poses the question today of whether Dumbfuck McBlotto, our (decidedly un)esteemed Escutcheon-blot in chief, is "going out with 'a whimper'." Frankly, McClatchy, who gives a fuck? We just want him to go, preferably to a narrow, cramped, poorly-lit prison cell where he can rub the heads of all the baldies he can get his hands on. The sooner the better.

While academics opine on Dim Son's astounding lack of popularity, the common people are watching basic food prices soar out of reach even as the value of their homes, the stability of their corporate employers and their financial institutions, and the value of their currency sink lower than a worm's arsehole.

So, as Maru over at WTF Is It Now? likes to say,
The popular war preznit has regained his footing... oh, I'm sorry, Mr Broder, make that [insert real-life stumblebum's latest stumble]
Considering that the pathetic, wretched little asshole can barely behave in public, it's hardly surprising that that fact seems to be registering with record numbers of his fellow-citizens.

Meanwhile, it's heartening to realize that there are some Republicans with ethics. Stephen Spoonamore, founder and CEO of Cybrinth LLC, an IT policy and security firm, has stepped forward to help an anonymous whistleblower prove that professional slime mold impersonators and cybervote machine manufacturers Diebold improperly interfered in Georgia's 2002 elections.

So we now know we have fucking Diebold to thank for that ambulatory turd, Saxby Chambliss. In case you didn't know, Chambliss prides himself on holding up monies to combat AIDS in Africa, as Cernig points out over on newshoggers. He also doesn't care much for SCHIP, The Endangered Species Act, the fight against global warming, women, life (except for "unborn children," i.e., fetii), environmentalism, science, civil rights, taxes for the rich, bankruptcy for the poor, education (except for school prayer), or pretty much anything except prisons and the death penalty.

In heartening news today, Iraqi PM Nouri al-Maliki announced his support for Barack Obama's plan for a phased withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq. In even more heartening news, Chimpy McDumbfuck's pathetic minions sent the news about Maliki's support to the press &mdash by mistake. In even more heartening news, Jowly McGrumpypants (thanks, Maru!) camp issued a succinct evaluation of this news: We're fucked, they said, which makes us really happy, since Gramps McSnarly is the last person to help this poor nation get back on her feet. Shoot, he's having trouble keeping his own. And, he's definitely showing signs of dementia or otherwise eroding mental function, not that his mental function was much to brag about in the first place.

It's also nice to know that McCain is exhibiting a level of fiscal stupidity that reinforces our suspicions about his dysfunction. And to no one's surprise, McCain's elderly, probably racist and certainly ill-informed supporters are displaying a lack of enthusiasm usually reserved for Matlock reruns. Really? It must rub salt in the wound to hear that art collectors believe McGrumpypants artwork is worth nothing, while Obama artwork is selling for tens of thousands of dollars, eh, McJowly? Of course, you'd have to be more than slightly off to find portraits of CottageCheesyJowls McSnarlfester remotely exciting, but hey.

McAncient's inability to keep his festering gob shut may have caused security problems for Obama: Blabberjowls McScarface apparently announced to the press that Obama is expected to be in Iraq this weekend. Hopefully, he'll be greeted with flowers by an adoring population, since he's the only candidate to espouse a definite timeline for the withdrawal of our troops. Of course, when someone else blabbed about a person being in Iraq, McCain was simply furious. But then, the subject of the blabment was his son, not his political rival.

The good news is coming thick and fast today: Multimillionaire whiner Phil Gramm, who just last week told us (before Starbucks announced it was closing a bunch of stores and laying off staff) that we were whiners suffering from a "mental recession," has stepped down from McAncient's campaign. Good. Goodbye, and good riddance, Phil. And quit whining.

Meanwhile, the Mighty Munchkin of Justice has decided to investigate Felon McChimperson and Snarly McCrashcart's minions' surveillance of harmless peace activists and expending much-needed taxpayer money on police officers to do so, instead of fighting crime. But then again, why bother to fight crime when you can turn prisons into a high-paying privatized industry, with the citizen taxpayers doing all the paying.

This is what happens when we elect Democrats, people. Sure, it's going slowly, slower than many of us would like. But let's not forget that the past eight years has been nothing but incompetence, fraud, lies, cheating, hypocrisy, deceit, and the tearing down of this great country. It's gonna take a while to fix the mess, and if we're going to try to hold anyone accountable, it must be done in a way that they cannot overturn. And that takes a little time.

For those who don't want to click the above link, it's to a Washington Post story about the current, Democratic governor of Maryland, who has reversed his Republican predecessor's policy of having the State Police conduct surveillance of peace activists and anti-death penalty protestors. What a waste of taxpayer money!

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