Caturday?

NO we don't have any more cats, geez

This is what it feels like at La Casa de Los Gatos, these days. Like we're mothering some kittens. And we desperately need a DRINK, goddammit.

You ever try raising kittens? Geezus, they're a pain. So, what's going on, we ask? Bandicoot was sick for quite a while, and then we had to leave him and go away, and he wasn't doing too great when we got back. We've spent the past couple of months curing him of whatever stomach ailment he picked up and making sure he's doing OK.

Bandicoot with Gustav

See, he's getting old. He wants to be fed about once an hour, all day. Sometimes he'll eat some kibble, but mostly he wants his food brought to him, and he always was a messy eater, and he's gotten a hundred times worse. Seems like he's not seeing or smelling too well, either. If you don't bring his food to him, he climbs up on the bed and pokes you in the face with one enormous smelly paw. Actually, his paws aren't smelly at all. Just big. Bigger than my eyeballs. Which is what he likes to poke, mostly. He doesn't want water from a bowl, either. He wants to lick the water in the shower. And his coat was a matted mess after the long stay at the vet. We're clipping and brushing and what-all, but he's a pig in a fur suit, he does not care for this grooming shit.

And Gustav is kinda sensing something in the offing because Bandicoot just wants to be left alone to sleep all the time. So Gustav has taken to howling every night, I mean Siamese cat x water buffalo bellows every night from, like, 1 am to 3 am. I'd kill him, except he's suffered enough already. I think. Little fucker. Sleeping like a baby next to me right now. Just half an hour ago he was trying to sit on Gojira's face and howling because she bit him in the ass. Apparently she does not care for this face-sitting business.

Gojira with Zingi-bee

Gojira is still freaked out about Zingiber dying and won't go outside any more. She only wants to be at home, preferably in bed with us. (Fucking bitch wants to be RIGHT BETWEEN both of us, too, so forget a sex life.) And she squeaks like a motherfucker when she doesn't get her way. Also, too, claws. Hers are like tiny little razors. You can't tell you've been scratched till part of your leg bleeds and falls off. There's no possibility of trimming them, either. She's not the type to hold still that long, and we'd have to *catch* her first. Always an exciting sight, watching two rapidly aging people chasing an extremely lithe, swift, and nimble cat around. And when she's not being obnoxious and shrieking in your ear and bouncing off the walls, she's demanding attention. Pet me, pet me, scratch my ears, check my butt for poop stains, pet my belly so I can remove the skin from your hands. If she weren't so stunningly cute, she would have been a slipper a LONG time ago. Little bitch.

And MADU has suddenly developed a need for affection. What's with this? The lady with the French-perfumey big bosoms isn't giving him enough lately, or what? He's still running off to visit her regularly, I see him hiking down the road all the time, the little slut. Then he comes home and wants to drape himself all over us, and could we please pick him up and hold him so he can fall asleep in the most comfortable position and drool.

There was a time when the little fucker would barely give us the time of day. AFAHWC, we were convenient stepping stones for hunting mice on the hill.

I miss those days.

Yeah, so, WTF, y'all, check out the fucking heat wave that's cooking the whole middle of the country AND the eastern seabord, is this reality time for global warming deniers, or what? Will the stupid subside long enough for the marching morons to realize that they ARE every bit as stupid as everyone else has believed for years, and that global warming has finally decided to, like, personally cook their asses or something for being such fucking dolts? Only thing is, they'll be sure to take all of us with them when they go, y'know? Just to be assholes. Srsly, this heat is nothing to fuck with. Remember to wear sunblock, stay cool and aerated, go to a public place that's airconditioned, or your local pool, or whatever. Stay indoors, if you can. Drink LOTS of water, but not too much too fast. Stay safe!

Here's something for y'all to enjoy!

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Environment: Global Warming

Photo from The Telegraph

No matter how many times you tell the yobbos that weather is just a subset of climate, they don't get it, of course. Loud and raucous is their laughter as they, for example, point to conditions in the UK today. Agence France Presse (AFP) is reporting that last night, temperatures in the UK fell to -22C, which is approximately -8F. Pretty fucking cold, says your friendly neighbourhood Cat. In case there's anyone out there who doesn't know, cats prefer warmth, at all times.

You can bet your hairy ass this Cat does not like temperatures below, oh, at very worst, let's say in the 50s, Fahrenheit. I remember standing right in Trafalgar Square, with my hand in that very same fountain, back when the fountain's contents were closer to liquid than the very solid appearance in that picture.

And another thing you can bet your hairy ass on: the day won't come when I go swimming like Jocko here.

Photo from The Telegraph

Srsly, why the fuck is this man not some cyan shade of fucking blue? Does anyone know? In case you hadn't guessed, the fool is chipping chunks of ice out of his swimming hole to make more room for other would-be swimmers. Fuckin' loon.

If you're wondering what these temperatures mean, suffice it to say that hundreds of flights from the UK have been scrapped, leaving some very angry passengers — or, perhaps, grateful, given the weather conditions — stranded. Hundreds of Eurostair trains scheduled between London and Paris have also been cancelled.

UK authorities are calling this the coldest winter in 30 years. Britain is rationing both LNG (for heating) and salt for keeping the roads clear, as more cold weather is expected.

Meanwhile, in Norway, temperatures are at -42C (that's approximately -43 Fahrenheit) in some places.

In Poland, some 139 people have died from the cold since November, mostly homeless alcoholics.

Germany is expecting 15 inches of fresh snow plus gale force winds over the weekend, giving rise to warnings about impassable roads.

Temperatures in France are below freezing in some cities, notably Aurillac, and Arles, in the south, has seen about a foot of snow take down power lines, leaving some 15,000 people without electricity — and, no doubt, very, very cold.

Spain is on alert for fresh snowfall, strong winds, and freezing temperatures, and in southern Andalusia, floods.

China is also bracing for additional freezing weather, with Beijing seeing the heaviest snowfall in six decades, and the lowest temperatures since 1971 (that's nearly four decades) this week, reports BusinessWeek. Temperatures in the city of Mohe, Heilongqiang province, are around -37F. Beijing is at a balmy 8F. Balmy for them, anyway. No cat would consider that a balmy temperature without an additional digit.

Meanwhile, three days ago, the Guardian reports, an earthquake and a tsunami combined to leave homeless one-third of the population of Rendova, part of the Solomon Islands. Two hundred homes were destroyed by the magnitude 7.2 earthquake, which was followed by waves up to 10 feet high. Relief efforts are under way. Terrible, really. Fortunately, they don't have freezing cold weather to deal with. Coastal dwellers, especially those living in earthquake country, expect more of these events as the globe continues to warm.

Five days ago, the Guardian reports, a magnitude 5.1 earthquake left 20,000 in Tajikistan homeless. Tajikistan is a very poor region of central Asia, and many houses have been damaged, and roads blocked. It is not clear whether relief operations are taking place.

In Brazil, also five days ago, floods killed some 76 people, and mudslides are occurring all over the southern states from heavy rain, also as reported in the Guardian.

USA Toady (no typo) is reporting that temperatures in the midwestern states of the U.S. are expected to drop to -50F. That is some fucking balls-climbing-back-into-your-abdomen cold weather, folks.

Snow and ice are expected in the south, too, from South Carolina to Louisiana. Even Florida is expecting near-freezing nighttime temperatures, although orange growers assure us that the nation's favourite juice crop isn't threatened. With lizards falling out of the trees, this sort of assurance simply makes us at La Casa de Los Gatos go "Humph." Airports in the Chicago area have canceled 500 flights due to the weather. The message seems to be, "Don't travel unless you fucking have to."

So? Whadya think, people? Global warming? Climate change? Or more evidence that there is a nasty old man in the sky who fucking hates us all and is making our holiday season as miserable as he can manage?

Throw another cat on the bed, Matilda, I'm freezing!

ICHC

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Republican Party Finds New Chairman

ICHC FTW!

OK, it's been pretty depressing stuff on this blog lately, with war crimes and death to homosexuals and what all, so we figure you, dear friends and readers, are owed a little fun.

But first you have to read Michael Steele on climate change. Srsly.

See, Professor Doctor Michael Steele thinks we need to get rid of all existing climatologists/climate scientists and replace them with dudes who will help us "appreciate" climate change.

Fuck me, this is the kind of thing that drives your hosts at this fine blog to imbibe cheap rum at ungodly hours of the day. Here, in his own words, Professor Doctor Climateologist Science Dude Michael Steele:

"Let's get the smart, right scientists in place to help us understand and appreciate what's happening. I'm still trying to find the brother who told me, 'This is the temperature it should be.' So, you know, we don't know. The earth is a living organism and it changes. We all know what that is about, right?"

Jesus fucking J.H. Christ on a pogo stick, Mikey, can I be the first to slap the stupid right outa ya? Ya fucking blivet!

That's all I need, dude, is a "brother" to tell me "This is the temperature [the world] should be." This is worse than his cow-catcher remarks. Is this guy on drugs? Because if he is, and they're legit, the fucking bastard should be sharing them so the rest of us can groove on what he's saying. Right now he sounds like The Brother From Another Planet. (Inside joke: The Brother From Another Planet is a fine, fine, movie, if you haven't seen it, get off your fucking ass, already; oh, and the lead character has no dialogue at all. Not a single word.)

So this is the deal, Mikey. They're gonna replace your ass. You thought your shuckin' and jivin' would get you this gig and keep it, din'tcha? First they took away your power to sign checks for the party (you KNOW they don't trust the cullud wit' da money, fool, wha'dja think, they'd trust you? After your money scandals?). Then they rehired the people you fired, to keep an eye on the books. Now it's "Byebye, Mikey." They'll gladhand you out the door. Maybe you can get a job on the weather channel.

Or posing for pitchers wif Young Rethuglicans.

Behold the NEW Chairman of the Republican Party!

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Caturday!

Yeah, yeah, it's ICHC

And here in the fire zone, the grass and weeds have already turned brown despite a long, wet spring. Fortunately, it's not as hot this year as it was last year. Nevertheless, it's time to put on the shorts and the old sun hat and venture downstairs for another day of weeding. We leave you to determine how much pain this day's adventure will cost. Fuck me blind, when you haven't used your muscles for over a year, they find new and innovative ways to let you know that fact.

A joyous Independence Day to all! The Declaration of Independence belongs to this day, and herewith a brief excerpt to remind us all of why we celebrate this day:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

"To effect their safety and happiness ... ." Wouldn't those words lend themselves to the interpretation that a government that does not provide health care for its citizens should be rejected in favour of one that can and does?

La Casa de Los Gatos apologizes for the desultory blogging of that issue, and begs its friends and readers to understand that recent health problems make one unable to brain sufficiently to say something intelligent and useful on the topic, wherefore it is better to say nothing at all than to irritate by one's stupidity. We urge our fellow hoominz to continue pushing for Universal Health Care - a public option that will safeguard the health of nearly fifty million of our fellow Americans who are currently without any health care at all, and who, being placed in this position by us all, constitute a greater threat to the public safety of all of us in case of an epidemic than the expenditure of tax monies in providing them with health care possibly could.

Remember, you Republican nutcases and "small-government" yobbos — in the face of a raging epidemic, it's too late to vaccinate. Precautionary measures must be taken before the fact, not in response to it. New and increasingly deadly epidemics are moving swiftly among us, thanks to global warming and increasing urbanization. Better to spend the money now if need be than regret the loss of one's loved ones after the fact.

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Environment: Living Responsibly

This clip, found thanks to a fellow-Digger, on YouTube:



reminds me of that scene in The Matrix, where Lawrence Fishburne (Morpheus) has been captured by Hugo Weaving (Agent Smith), who is pondering the human species as a carcinogen.

Responsible people have two children or fewer, and try to live in harmony with their environment. We have nearly killed our Mother Earth. Please do your bit to bring her back to health, today and every day.

La Casa de Los Gatos thanks you for your efforts.

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2008 Elections: John McCain's VP Pick

From ICHC, purveyors of fine lolcattery

Quotable quotes from Sarah "Failin' — it's what I do best" Paiin:

"There's, of course in the great history of America there have been rulings, that's never going to be absolute consensus by every American. And there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but ..."

[...]

"Well, I could think of ... any again, that could be best dealt with on a more local level. Maybe I would take issue with. But, you know, as mayor, and then as governor and even as a vice president, if I'm so privileged to serve, wouldn't be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today."

[...]

Again, John McCain and I, that commitment that we have made, and we're going to follow through on that, getting rid of that corruption.

[...]

But we do need tax relief and Barack Obama even supported increasing taxes as late as last year for those families making only $42,000 a year. That's a lot of middle income average American families to increase taxes on them. I think that is the way to kill jobs and to continue to harm our economy.

[...]

I do take issue with some of the principle there with that redistribution of wealth principle that seems to be espoused by you. But when you talk about Barack's plan to tax increase affecting only those making $250,000 a year or more, you're forgetting millions of small businesses that are going to fit into that category. So they're going to be the ones paying higher taxes thus resulting in fewer jobs being created and less productivity.

[...]

But here, again, there have -- there have been so many changes in the conditions of our economy in just even these past weeks that there has been more and more revelation made aware now to Americans about the corruption and the greed on Wall Street.

We need to look back, even two years ago, and we need to be appreciative of John McCain's call for reform with Fannie Mae, with Freddie Mac, with the mortgage-lenders, too, who were starting to really kind of rear that head of abuse.

And the colleagues in the Senate weren't going to go there with him. So we have John McCain to thank for at least warning people. And we also have John McCain to thank for bringing in a bipartisan effort people to the table so that we can start putting politics aside, even putting a campaign aside, and just do what's right to fix this economic problem that we are in.

It is a crisis. It's a toxic mess, really, on Main Street that's affecting Wall Street. And now we have to be ever vigilant and also making sure that credit markets don't seize up. That's where the Main Streeters like me, that's where we would really feel the effects.

[...]

And East Coast politicians who don't allow energy-producing states like Alaska to produce these, to tap into them, and instead we're relying on foreign countries to produce for us.

[...]

I'm not one to attribute every man -- activity of man to the changes in the climate. There is something to be said also for man's activities, but also for the cyclical temperature changes on our planet.

[...]

And Maliki and Talabani also in working with us are knowing again that we are getting closer and closer to that point, that victory that's within sight.

[...]

And as for who coined that central war on terror being in Iraq, it was the General Petraeus and al Qaeda, both leaders there and it's probably the only thing that they're ever going to agree on, but that it was a central war on terror is in Iraq. You don't have to believe me or John McCain on that. I would believe Petraeus and the leader of al Qaeda.

[...]

An armed, nuclear armed especially Iran is so extremely dangerous to consider. They cannot be allowed to acquire nuclear weapons period. Israel is in jeopardy of course when we're dealing with Ahmadinejad as a leader of Iran. Iran claiming that Israel as he termed it, a stinking corpse, a country that should be wiped off the face of the earth. Now a leader like Ahmadinejad who is not sane or stable when he says things like that is not one whom we can allow to acquire nuclear energy, nuclear weapons.

[...]

Certainly, accounting for different conditions in that different country and conditions are certainly different. We have NATO allies helping us for one and even the geographic differences are huge but the counterinsurgency principles could work in Afghanistan. McClellan didn't say anything opposite of that.

But as for as Darfur, we can agree on that also, the supported of the no-fly zone, making sure that all options are on the table there also.

[...]

Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again pointing backwards again. You preferenced your whole comment with the Bush administration. Now doggone it, let's look ahead and tell Americans what we have to plan to do for them in the future. You mentioned education and I'm glad you did. I know education you are passionate about with your wife being a teacher for 30 years, and god bless her. Her reward is in heaven, right? I say, too, with education, America needs to be putting a lot more focus on that and our schools have got to be really ramped up in terms of the funding that they are deserving. Teachers needed to be paid more. I come from a house full of school teachers. My grandma was, my dad who is in the audience today, he's a schoolteacher, had been for many years. My brother, who I think is the best schoolteacher in the year, and here's a shout-out to all those third graders at Gladys Wood Elementary School, you get extra credit for watching the debate.

Education credit in American has been in some sense in some of our states just accepted to be a little bit lax and we have got to increase the standards. No Child Left Behind was implemented. It's not doing the job though. We need flexibility in No Child Left Behind. We need to put more of an emphasis on the profession of teaching. We need to make sure that education in either one of our agendas, I think, absolute top of the line. My kids as public school participants right now, it's near and dear to my heart. I'm very, very concerned about where we're going with education and we have got to ramp it up and put more attention in that arena.

Most of these comments were taken from the transcript of Paiin's VP debate with Joe Biden, as reproduced in the New York Times. Most of them are a frightening combination of Gee Dumbya Bush at his mushmouthiest and, maybe, Chauncy Gardener?

How many outright lies, misstatements, gaffes, blunders, and plain old idiocies can YOU spot?



Eight years of Teh Stupid has us in a position where Europe, Russia, and China are talking about a new international financial system and they haven't even invited us to the talks. Makes sense when you consider that our children and grandchildren will be paying them for all the loans we took to start a war in Iraq. Hey, where's Osama bin Laden? And how come the Saudis, who manned and probably financed that little explosion of the twin towers, are still best buds with our Preznitwit?

Jeez, people, check your voter registration, tell all your friends and neighbours and relatives and colleagues to check theirs, and VOTE! And, unless you really want to lose your house, your job, your business, your life, your children, and pretty much the rest of the country — be sure to vote for Obama/Biden. There's only one way out of this shitpile, and it ain't a tunnel named Paiin/McCain't.

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Environment: Hurricane Ike

Not being worshippers of any deity in particular, we let Seelin Cat and hir disciples/followers speak for us when we wish for the safety and well-being of all those in every country who have been affected by the vagaries of Mother Nature:

From ICHC, fine purveyors of LOLcattery to all

May everyone stay safe and as dry as possible. May Mike Chertoff's reproductive bits rot right off for FEMA's usual failure to do anything for the suffering with our tax dollars. May you be safely reunited with all your loved ones ASAP.

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Global Warming? No, Global Weirding

photo courtesy of Cormier Archive

Thomas Friedman, NYTimes columnist, was interviewed yesterday by Terry Gross on her radio show Fresh Air. He's got a new book out: Hot, Flat, and Crowded. And he got it right when he talked about climate change. It's not necessarily that the weather is getting warmer -- it's getting WEIRDER. Extremes. Colder colds and hotter hots ... extreme storms and extreme changes from hot to cold.

Last week the San Francisco Bay Area had a hot spell ... longer than normal. And now, it's suddenly fall weather. Suddenly. I can't even open the door this morning for the cats because it's too chilly.

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