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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Politics: Any Straight Republicans Left?

I mean it. Every other day, some Republican politician is outed in the most embarrassing way, or some conservative bible-thumping anti-gay-rights homophobic closet queen of a religious Republican is busted for snorting meth off their favourite gay male prostitute's butt.

You can't help wonder if, like lemmings, Republicans can only take so much of their own hypocritical rhetoric before they all start heading en masse for the closest cliff. Did all these guys "become" gay after listening to themselves bay and howl about how deadly teh ghey was and how it would turn your children gay instantly just to know that two people of the same gender could have a loving relationship?

Just two days ago, we here at ThePoliticalCat brought you the story of Richard Curtis (R-Waaahmbulance!), a Washington state Rep. who was involved in something mysterious and sleazy. Today, we have the details.

The Columbian reports that Rep. Curtis, for reasons known only to himself, I'm sure, went cruising at the local porn store dressed in
women’s clothing, red stockings and a black sequined lingerie top ....
Dude, don't you think that walrusoid face fungus just begs for something more fashionable than a black sequined lingerie top? And what is with the red stockings? Don't try telling us you were getting into the Xmas spirit, it's just barely Halloween, dude.

Yowza. He might be right when he says he ain't gay. Most of my gay friends would rather sit through a six-hour Phyllis Schlafly screechfest than be caught in red stockings. Or maybe his wife picked them, who knows.

The man then proceeded to get into a sex act at the fucking store. Get real, are you crazy? Are you the only person on Planet Earth who doesn't know that porn stores have video cameras in them? Mainly so the help can check to see who's jerking off in aisle three without having to get all sticky and what?

Then he takes his trick back to his hotel. Stupidity compounded by stupidity. You couldn't rent some place with your rent boy? Some place that doesn't have 24/7 video coverage of every single door in the damn place? Naturally, the cops now have the footage from the porn store AND the hotel.

The hotel room works on computerized card keys. Those things write a record to a computer every time you use them. So the cops now have records of when Curtis (and his rent boy) entered and left the room.

Plus, someone in that room rented gay porn movies. Which, of course, hotels keep records of. And naturally, hand over to the cops when requested.

And as if all this wasn't enough, Curtis solicited the young man for unprotected sex. What a maroon. And then tried to cheat him of the promised fee. Hey, Cluetard! You hire a ho, you pay them their fee, or chances are they will talk and it'll all come out, so to speak. Is this starting to sound like the cops might know exactly what happened in this case?

Well, that's about the (hee) size of it. They issued their report yesterday, October 30, with all the grisly details.
Curtis did not return calls seeking comment Tuesday. He initially told police that he did not have sex with the man but later recanted, according to the police report. He also told police that he thought he might have been given some type of drug because his memory of the evening was hazy.
Dude, you must think the rest of the planet was born yesterday. I want to know what kind of drug makes a straight man put on a black sequined lingerie top and red stockings.
After the two men apparently had sex, [name omitted] allegedly left the hotel room with Curtis’ wallet, the report says. Curtis agreed to give the man $200, which he left at his hotel’s desk, only to be confronted with a demand for an additional $800, the report says.
Not wanting to pay, Rep. Curtis called his erstwhile friend Sgt. Roy Rhine of the Washington State Patrol. Rhine, who works out of the patrol’s Southwest Washington office, is a fellow Republican who has run for the state Legislature.

Curtis wanted WSP to investigate “because the local police would talk and it would get out to the press.” The WSP referred the case back to local officials.

It's OK to embrace your inner gay, Rep. Curtis. It's when you try to repress it and then turn to your homophobic Republican friends for help that you run into trouble.

Curtis says his wife, with whom he has two daughters, knew of his proclivities. Maybe she did, and maybe she didn't. I feel sorry for her, in any event, because she and the kids will not manage to live this down. I understand that Rep. Curtis probably came of age at a time when being gay was considered wrong. But instead of marrying and putting other people through hell, he would have done better to have sought a little more insight into himself.

And Larry Flynt of Hustler magazine fame has promised yet another enormous scandal revolving around some closeted Republican. Oy vey!


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