Politics - Are There Any Straight Republicans?

Mugshot courtesy of LA Times Picayune's NOLAblog

I mean it. Seriously. Is there a single Republican who is not some kind of pervert, pedophile, toilet sex troll, diaper-filling, prostitute-patronizing, gay-sex whoring trash? Mitt Romney appears to be the only Republican who's had fewer than 2 marriages, and he wears "magic" underwear, fer crisake. I mean, hello, you can't find a prostitute, gay or straight, who would willingly fuck someone who wears that weird shit, I'm thinkin'.

Ah whatthefuck. Louisiana councilman Joey diFatta is pulling out of the State Senate race, claiming chest pains. Look at that smirking mug. He's registering 101 roycohns on my gaydar. Why, it's almost as bad as looking at Ted Haggard's smarmy smirk. Or Jeff Gannon/James Guckert, for that matter.

And guess what, councilman diFatta is not quitting the race on account of any pains in his chest. Rumour has it the pains are somewhat lower down. Hell, rumour nothing. The man's been arrested twice in the past 11 years for "lewd conduct in public restrooms."

Apparently, like Larry Craig (R-Idahomo), Mr. diFatta has a wide stance.

In the second incident, Jefferson Parish deputies working an undercover detail in a men's bathroom at Dillard's at Lakeside Shopping Center in March 2000 stopped DiFatta after he indicated a desire to engage in sex with an undercover deputy in an adjoining bathroom stall, according to an interoffice memorandum written by Sgt. Keith Conley, one of the deputies involved in the investigation.

The report said DiFatta slid his foot into the deputy's stall and tapped the deputy's foot. In the report, Conley noted that such activity is common among men to indicate a willingness to participate in sex.

The deputy inside the stall, Detective Wayne Couvillion, responded by tapping his foot, and DiFatta reached under the partition and began to rub the deputy's leg, the report states.

The detective asked DiFatta, "What do you want?" according to the report, and he replied, "I want to play with you."

The detective broke off the encounter because children had entered the restroom, but stated that, if not for the children, he would have arrested Mr. diFatta, who seemed way too familiar with the foot-tapping routine.

Apparently this took place in a shopping mall. I don't really give a fuck what people choose to do to get their jollies. God knows I have some of the raunchiest friends in the universe and some of the shenanigans they get up to, I wouldn't repeat in public. But for crying out loud, Mr. diFatta, you're well-off. You seem to have intelligence, some social cachet, money, a home of your own. Why the goddamned toilet? And of all places, in a fucking shopping mall, which by default is bound to be sprog-infested? I just don't think you should be subjecting random strangers' children to your hijinks, you fucking fool. Case out your local gay bar or adult hangouts and leave the goddamn malls alone.

Oh, well. He's stepping down to spend more time trolling for gay sex, so at least he won't be in a position to lecture all and sundry on abortions and sex and everybody else's morals.

What a pig.

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