Sally Kern, Ambulatory Fecontainer

If you didn't already know who Sally Kern is, feel free to look her up right here, which is where we pinched this horrifying photo.

Sally Kern's bigotry doesn't just aim itself at Teh Ghey. She is also no fan of women or minorities (no, she doesn't belong in either category), as she evinced by this speech. So why should it even be news that this dreadful cackling cow is making yet another gay-themed grab at headlines? She's got a book out. It's titled The Stoning of Sally Kern. Regrettably, it's not an instruction manual. Stupid twat, I mean, twit. Can you imagine having anything at all to do with this fetid ambulatory pigshit canister? No? Neither can we. Yet, somehow, she managed to find something that would join loins with her long enough to spawn. There's a persistent rumour in blogtopia that her husband, Southern Baptist minister Steven D. Kern, was once a member of the KKK. There's also the little matter of her gay son. Srsly. Click that link to read an interview with him. If your gaydar doesn't hit 12 out of a maximum of 10, let us know. These people just make us hork a big fat fucking hairball, OK? Srsly. And then there are people like this in the universe, who renew our faith in humanity and make it clear that the Kerns of this world are not a reason to give up on all its beauty, wonder, and awe:

The reason you have to "deal with" homosexuality is because these men and women are our fellow citizens. America is the people who show up. The show up for work, school, volunteer. They show up in the military, the police, the fire department (and the fire department calendars). They raise their kids and watch out for their neighbors.

The lesson I choose to take from 9/11 is not the paranoid fantasy that "they" are destroying us. It's that people are good. On that day, they called home to say "I love you". They helped strangers escape the danger -- sometimes dying in the effort. They fought back and made God work like the devil to take their lives. And they didn't check each other's religion, sexual preference, political party or immigration status.

Wonkette commenter JustPixelz

Yeah. That. Also, kittehz. We at this blog don't take our responsibilities lightly.

Too, FUCK YOU Sally Kerns! FUCK YOU very, very much, you horrendous bitch. Why can't all the people who have a problem with their GAY FAMILY just deal with it and leave the rest of us alone?

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The Right Value Is Truth

The right value is honesty.



La Casa de Los Gatos don't know about you, and how you might feel about homophobia, but we can tell you how we feel. We here are goddamn sick and fucking tired of all these closeted dickheads fucking around with OUR lives.

Just this month, we've had closeted homophobe Roberto Arango* posting pictures of his rectum to a hookup site. A fucking HOOKUP site! Where gay/bi men post for quickie casual fucks. If you're gonna bully other men for supposedly being gay, Roberto, you shouldn't be posting your starfish as an invitation to any swingin' dick within ten miles, know what I'm sayin'? Is that too much to ask, you arrogant asshole? Nobody really cares, Roberto, that you like to have another man's throbbing cock in your ass. Just don't fucking rub our faces in it after REPEATEDLY voting against our rights, you miserable piece of shit.

And look, what have we here? ANOTHER fucking Republican legislator caught with his dick hanging out? With a teenage boy?

His defense? "I'm not gay. I don't know why I did what I did."

I'll tell you why, you dumb fuck. Because you are gaygaygayer than a flock of fucking larks. You were so hungry for that pretty boy's 18-year-old body, his slender shoulders, muscular thighs, bubble butt, beautiful satiny dark skin. That's why. You were dying to stick your cock in him and his cock in you and to fuck until you both lost your minds. That's why.

Phil Hinkle's constituents think he should resign -- for being gay? For lying about it? For working so hard against the rights of gay people? This is the guy, incidentally, who is responsible for the "In God We Trust" license plate legislation in his home state. So, Phil, "In God We Trust" for what? For keeping anyone else from finding out that our cock throbs for teenage boys? Sounds like you spent all your time in the legislature on bogus legislation like this, and keeping gays from marrying. Have a good time on the unemployment line, you dumb fuck.

Phil says he's not running again. We say, "Not unless it's from his constituents."

So, homophobic Republican legislators? It's OK for you to fuck us, literally, and then fuck us virtually by denying us equal rights? Because, you know, all that shit y'all are continually spouting about "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal," in the Declaration of Independence that you fucking claim to fucking worship? And all that crap in the Constitution about equality? You're not applying it to us, are you, when you vote against our right to marry and have families?

It's time for war on your hypocritical asses, y'all. Just come out of the fucking closet, admit who and what you are, and start acting like people, not ignorant fucking homophobes, OK? Because if you don't? It will be the civic duty of each and every one of us to do our best to expose you.

You hear that, girlzNboyz? If you've been schtupping a Republican legislator, it's time to let the whole world know. Start with the newspapers.

And now, to take the edge off, the gorgeous and brilliant Sara Benincasa sticks it to MishMash BatShitKrayZMann. Enjoy!

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Rick Santorum Wins

TWO awards!

World's Biggest Fucking Crybaby WHINER
Dan Savage's PayAttentionToYourName Slapfest

YAY, DAN!

Dan Savage's New Threat to Rick Santorum from Dan Savage

Now, Rick, don't get all huffy and LIE and pretend you don't know why the gay community is upset with you, you smarmy little shit. You know damn well your nasty, homophobic, closeted little mind has been squeaking forever about how much you HATE the gay. Judging from the number of gayhaters who have been exposed as complete and total fucking SISSYMARY QUEENS, it's probably time you shut up about that already, before Dan takes you out, or your boyfriend finally speaks up.

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OUT Of The Closets and Into The STREETS!!!!

Yay! New York just signed the Gay Marriage Bill, people, so what are you waiting for? Time to PAR-TAY DOWN!

FTA: "Republican Sen. Stephen Saland, who had been undecided about the bill and was one of the legislators who led the negotiations, announced during the debate on the Senate floor that he would support the bill, effectively giving it the 32 votes it needed to pass."

Everybody be sure to send a thank-you note to Rep. Saland, who will be targeted by homophobes for his support. He did the right thing, and it will cost him unless we all translate our thankyous into support at the polls. Thank you, Rep. Saland, for making this day happen!

TalkingPointsMemo has the details. And be sure to check out their pic of the celebrations at STONEWALL!!! Hai-yaah!

A great big huge gigantinormous thank you to Joshua Micah Marshall of TalkingPointsMemo who brought us this wonderful reportage.

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Indians Need To Ask "How Hateful Can American Conservatives Get?"

My, my, my. It would appear that the Wall Street Journal, under Rupert Murdoch's guidance, is determined to alienate any Indian readers thereof. Since a substantial number of Indians in America, especially those born and raised in India, tend to be very conservative, pro-Republican readers of the Wall Street Journal, I sincerely hope any of you reading this, who might have friends or in-laws or neighbours of the Indian persuasion, take this issue up with those benighted souls. I'm well aware that many Indians, especially of the educated class and wealthier class, did not much care for Gandhi (I, personally, have plenty of issues with the guy). But something this outrageous cannot be allowed to pass.

Unless, of course, Indians revel in the thought of being spat on by the likes of Andrew Roberts. In which case, what can we say, except "Carry on, doods."

As for Roberts himself, sheesh, the guy is a closet case if ever there was. What IS the conservative fascination with other people's sex lives, anyway? Doods, aren't you getting any? Because if you are, it's either not enough, or not kinky enough. Normal people don't sit around fantasizing about other people's sex lives, honest. Because normal people are too busy, as a rule, indulging in some healthy slap-and-tickle themselves to worry about whether anyone else is getting it on.

Normal people with normal sex lives and friends and families and jobs and homes to look after barely have enough time to brush their teeth and match their socks, on a given day. Most of the people I know who have partners and healthy rolls in the hay are too exhausted after a good healthy bout of sweaty rogering to give a shit whether someone else is getting any, and if so, of what variety. Shit! Fuck me blind if I give a good goddamn about whether anyone else is knocking boots, as long as I'm getting some sweet, hot, slippery between-the-sheets action.

So, Mr. Roberts? Your fellow conservatives are pretty damn kinky, whyn't you ask *them* for some pointers on getting your knob nibbled? You could try George "Rentboy" Rekers, for some hot young purchasable action. Mark Foley can give you some tips on staying out of jail if you cross the line between "young" and "actionably young." If you'd rather blame it on "teh CULLUD," try FL Republican Bob Allen. If you'd prefer to assault children of the female persuasion, upstanding Republican congressman, whoops, ex-congressman and felon, Ted Klaudt can give you some, uh, tips.

No? Too tame? Don't worry! Former conservative candidate for Republican governor of Georgia, Neal Horseley might be just the thing for you! Neal doesn't deny charges of bestiality, and is quick to point out that "everybody did it," while eying the closest mule. Then there's David "ShittyVitty" Vitter, the Republican Senator with a diaper fetish whose Madam mysteriously "committed suicide" after threatening to reveal her client list. You, too, could probably find a prostitute to powder your freshly diapered bottom, if you just want to swim in shit for a bit. If you'd rather dress up and cavort around with teenagers, contact this bright and shining Young Republican star.

But for the love of deity, you worthless fecking eejit, keep your grubby, shitstained paws off the people who have done *some* good for the world, unlike yourself. You know, as in, more good than you will ever do, you worthless flaccid rump-pumper.

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Leviticus

October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

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A good reminder.

Source: Humanists of Utah

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