Diary of A Trapped House Cat

From La Casa de Los Gatos, a few fragments of a diary titled "Political Cat" have surfaced. They make for sad reading:

I am no longer mobile, unable to navigate the steep stairs leading up to my place of rest (or, let's face it, more meaningfully, down to the kitchen for food) without the aid of massive quantities of untrendy chemical accoutrements. A layer of cat hair on the already slippery hardwood of the floor and stairs, far from ensuring a soft landing, only contrives to add to my fear of slippage. Although food is brought up daily by my captors, I long to run, free and wild once again, over the carpet of slugs infesting what I once fondly thought of as MY garden. Life sucks. Six weeks left to surgery. I think I need better pain meds. Unfortunately they make it tough to function, and drooling meditatively has never been one of my favourite competitive sports. In the event, I must offer up this morsel for the amusement of all of us who really loved and admired Hillary Clinton before she went over to the Darth side and are so grateful she's back among the light. Notice, please, that the imprisoned myrmidons of one Bootsie Ferragamo, who last dominated the dungeons of the State Department, are celebrating their release with a fervor heretofore unseen in career diplomats.

To quote the late, great John Lennon, Labia and Genitalmen, I give you Secretary of State Hillary Clinton! Three cheers to the auld girl for pulling it off. Doesn't she look great? And sound great?

Yeah, yeah, I'm an unabashed Clinton supporter, have always been, probably always will be. She put me off for a while with her underhanded tactics, but yaknow, she wanted to win and although I didn't agree with what she was doing, nobody can say Baby don't got no balls. Hers are bigger and brassier than anybody's, and yes, that includes Rahm Emanuel. I'm still really glad President Obama won. He has the breadth and depth of vision to benefit the whole country and his "no-drama" style is more reassuring to us wot been beat down by 12 years of the screamfest that started with the Clintons and ended with Drunky McStaggers.

So, enjoy this clip of Hill getting lauded publicly by hand-kissing celebrants. You'd be kissing her hands too if she'd saved you from that gap-toothed thigh-booted Dominatrix Bootsie Ferragamo.

The news is this coming couple of weeks is surgery prep. First week of March is surgery. After that, ten days of recovery, and I should be back home by the end of the third week of March. Then it's physical therapy, at home for 8 weeks and at the PT's office for 8 weeks. I'm told replacement knees are tough on old farts, but anything has to be better than sitting around semiconscious and unable to enjoy anything but food, cigarettes, and the occasional sip of booze. Fuck me, fellas, sitting around on the old situpon smoking, drinking, and stuffing one's face is NOT all it was made out to be. What would I like to be doing? Hiking! Goddammit. Hiking. The weather is springlike, sunny with a little nip in the air, and if there was justice in the world I'd be down the hill checking my plum tree for blossoms and rooting out the sorrel grass by hand. Pfaugh!

Blogging occasional till surgery; restricted to the kindness of Ms. Manitoba and FoTPC and Sirenita Lake for about 4 months post-surgery; resuming again in full and aggravated mode sometime in late April or May, I think.

Don't desert me, goddammit, y'awl. It's pretty damn uninspiring crushing one's coccyx in a bed however comfortable. And people keep getting me books to fucking read!

Your comments, however rude, welcomed. No threats, please, unless they involve some lively slap-and-tickle in a humorous manner.

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Health: Things To Look Out For

In case yesterday's post on infants and phthalates left you insufficiently nervous, here's more. Regrettably, it appears to be mostly geared towards women, as in "women are so dumb they use all this stuff to make them more beautiful and then oops, they die!"

We all know that the issue is really "Consumers don't have a fucking clue what's in all the crap that advertising tells them they must buy because their government wants them to spend money to keep the economy afloat, but not be protected from any possible adverse effects that might cut into manufacturers' profits, so they use it on themselves and their families and oops, they die!"

You think we're kidding? No, my friends, we're not kidding. Here, we give you an example in young, athletic Arielle Newman who died because she used an OTC pain-relieving gel on her sore muscles. Either she was peculiarly susceptible to absorbing the gel, or she used very large amounts. Or, like many athletes who might suffer from stiffness and soreness, she used both the gel and aspirin as pain relief. The moral of this story is, that shit will kill ya.

What about the non-athletes? What are they using that might kill them, and for what? Well, apparently, lots of young women opt for laser hair-removal treatments to make their legs and pits look hairless and "pretty." Jeez, people, talk about neonatophilia. Real adult humans have hair all over their bodies and especially in their armpits and crotches. And if you want to get rid of it, try a razor instead of something that could kill you. Is it worth dying just to get laid?

At any rate, ABC tells us that many laser treatment providers give clients a gel that contains both lidocaine and tetracaine, and numbs the areas to be worked on.

Unfortunately, lidocaine and tetracaine, alone or in combination, can cause death in some susceptible people. Because people have different absorption rates, and the product they're using is not reviewed by any agency, because human error exists, and there have not been long-term safety studies done on many of these compounds, users who fail to educate themselves on the issues might just kack from using this stuff.

One of the women in this report, Shiri Berg, put a 10-10 solution (ten per cent hydrocaine, ten per cent lidocaine) on her legs, then wrapped them in cellophane to speed the absorption. Who told her to do this? You read something like this and just go WTF? She puts the stuff on without knowing anything about it, wraps her legs to speed the absorption process, then gets in a car and drives to the spa, and surprise! She dies!

Her family's attorney is now complaining that she received no education on the product. We bet he votes Republican and would be simply scandalized at the thought of losing his tax breaks so the FDA and other regulatory agencies can be beefed up to exercise proper oversight. This is where the "cut the taxes of the very rich and slash all public programs to the bone" policies of the Republican Party and the Bush junta have left us.

Nobody's paying attention to what's in our food, our water, our medicines, our soil, our air, and our bodies. There are a few dedicated nonprofit groups out there, but they are hamstrung by tiny budgets and overworked. We pay taxes in order to create and protect our entire community - in this case the community called a "nation."

Not to give the obscenely wealthy even more wealth. Not to pay for spoiled fratboys to kill men, women, and children. Not so that manufacturers can make huge profits by poisoning and killing people.

Other things that can happen to people who do not insist on better and greater scrutiny of commercial products, or fail to educate themselves thoroughly (which, let's face it, ain't much of a substitute if you don't know a lot about chemistry, biology, medicine, law, and deity knows what else):

• Chemical face peels can leave you burned and disfigured.
  
  
• Aspirin can interact with any pain-relieving externally applied OTC medication that contains salicylic acid.
  
  
• Blood-thinning medications such as Coumadin or Plavix can interact with these medications and natural healants.
  
  
• Ginger has blood-thinning properties.
  
  If you're taking other blood-thinning medications or being evaluated for heart health, let your doctor know if your diet is high in ginger. As an example, ThePoliticalCat consumes ginger tea daily. This is important for the doctor to know.
  
  
• Do not use OTC analgesics on children without a doctor's prescription and supervision.
  
  If they're in pain from athletic injuries, they need to rest and heal, not be medicated and keep going so they can do greater damage to their bodies.
  
  
• If you're using any OTC topical analgesic to deal with vaginal itching, and the itching persists, do not apply more analgesic.
  
  Instead, go to a doctor and find out why you have the problem.
  
  
• When using topical analgesics, always use the smallest possible amount that does the job.
  
  Never use more than recommended. Never try to increase the effect by using bandages or other coverings over the affected area. Apply to the smallest possible area.
  
  
• Do not use hydrocortisone or other corticosteroids except as prescribed by a doctor and under medical supervision.
  
  We are reliably informed that some very stupid people use hemorrhoid cream to remove the bags under their eyes. Listen people, medication that is formulated for your arsehole is not necessarily suitable for your eyes. If you don't want bags under your eyes, quit hitting the bottle, put down the fucking cigarettes, cut out the salt, and ice your eye tissue till it shrinks. Here's a list of the possible side effects of corticosteroids.
  
  
• Do not use creams containing estrogen or progesterone without first having your hormone levels tested.
  
  If you think you need them to counter menopausal side-effects and your doctor's being a jerk about it, find a different doctor, talk to experts in women's health issues (they do exist) and research the subject thoroughly before slathering on the stuff.
  
  
• Lightening "age spots" with hydroquinone is not for everybody.
  
  Especially, it appears, for darker-skinned women, who can end up with darker skin instead, or, worse yet, with cancer.
  
  
• Retin-A or glycolic acid, which removes the top layer of your skin, might reduce your wrinkles but it's also going to leave your skin more vulnerable to injury.
  
  So don't do anything that stresses your skin (like using another exfoliant, or a chemical peel, or waxing your eyebrows, or even lying around on the beach in the sun) shortly after you've used these substances. Put on extra SPF sunscreen, wear a hat, and fer chrisake, stay away from cigarettes.
  
  
• If you're using henna, whether for temporary tattoos or to colour your hair or make nice patterns on your skin, always test it first.
  
  If you're one of the X number of people who are allergic to the stuff, you're going to look utterly gorgeous with your eyes swelled shut and your whole face, scalp, or other skin red, cracked, shiny, itchy and oozing.
  
  
• If your kid has a cold or cough, do not give them medications, OTC or prescription.
  
  Such medications send thousands of little children to the ER every year. The unlucky ones die. If they're under 6 years of age, the FDA recommends that you not give them any OTC meds. If they're between 6 and 11 years old, be very careful. Yeah, symptoms suck, but death sucks worse. Antibiotics don't work either. Just put the kid to bed, administer lots of fluids (chicken soup, orange juice, water - not soda), keep the kid wrapped up and warm, and get your tubes tied ASAP so you don't have to do it with a second or third kid.
  
  
• Don't use antibacterial soaps.
  
  Most of the liquid or gel soaps on the market and about a third of bar soaps are supposedly antibacterial. How does that help us resist illness? It doesn't. Most of the bugs that will knock you and your family out are viral. Antibacterial soaps don't do squat for those. Moreover, a common chemical in antibacterial personal care products, triclosan, is now implicated, ScienceDaily tells us, as an endocrine disruptor, causing a variety of problems, including cancer, reproductive failure and developmental anomalies, according to animal studies.

Finally, consider this enlightening quote:

A study has shown that some women use more than 20 different beauty products a day [...].

This reliance of this ‘cocktail’ of cosmetics to enhance beauty means that 4lb 6oz of potentially dangerous chemicals is absorbed into the body through the skin.

The Environmental Working Group provides a Cosmetic Safety Database that you can use to find out whether what you're putting on your skin is safe.

Remember, sometimes less is more. Many thanks to Sister GTG, Regular Reader and Terrorist Nun, for the info on triclosan.

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Books Read in March

Well, this was a piss-poor showing. I guess I need an excuse factory for all the books I failed to read!

Excuse of the Month:

1. Pneumonia - delirious and uncomprehending for ~2 weeks; and
2. Gardening - the weather is beautiful and I have to get all the weeds gone before the annual fire inspections.

Books of the Month:

• A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - Dave Eggers
  
  Borrowed? Yes. I blame Smokey.
  

  This book got rave reviews from many well-respected authors and reviewers. Mr. Eggers, when it comes time for you to review my work, I hope you'll develop the same convenient amnesia that appears to be plaguing the entire current administration. This book is very clever.
  
  Recommended? For readers who enjoy cleverness.
  Reread? No. I prefer books that either move me or teach me.
  
  

• The China Study - Thomas M. Campbell and Colin T. Campbell
  
  Borrowed? Yes. Thanks, Jay.
  

  This book has changed my life. The Campbells have put together an excellent and much-needed epic on nutrition and human disease. The epidemic of diseases that faces the 21st century human is very different from the previous century. Our worries center around obesity, diabetes, atherosclerosis, heart diseases, cancer. Diseases of affluence and longer lifespans. Except, according to Dr. Campbell, it ain't necessarily so. Why are the wealthiest not the healthiest? Don't we have all the science, the research, the necessary tools? Let Dr. Campbell tell you why. If this book doesn't change your life, I'll eat my hat. Or you'll eat yours, or something. It'd be better for you than that hamburger, in any event.
  
  
  Recommended? Highly.
  Reread? Yes, as soon as I notice any evidence of slackment.
  
  

• The Easy Way To Stop Smoking - Allen Carr
  
  Borrowed? No.
  

  Okay, what's with the self-helpalooza? I'll tell you what. It's time to quit smoking, once and for all. When your lungs feel like hot buttered knives are ripping through them with every breath it is time to stub out the last little stinker and say goodbye to that feeelthy habit. This is an excellent book. Really. The book can be repetitive at times, but repetition is needed when trying to get rid of an ancient and deeply ingrained - and life-destroying - habit.
  
  
  Recommended? To any smoker trying to quit. To families and friends of smokers who want to help their loved one kick the habit.
  Reread? Every time I need to.
  
  

• You Must Set Forth At Dawn - Wole Soyinka
  
  Borrowed? Smoke, again!
  
  

  What a wonderful book! It's so richly evocative of Africa, written with all the love that a person feels for their country and culture. It made me wish I was in Africa, it made me want to read a million books of African history and culture and language, and music, and art, and long for all Africana. It gave me hope. Africa can be the hope of the old world and the new world and the third world. It's funny, Jonathan Raban's book about Africana is the polar opposite of this, though well-written in its own way. Professor Soyinka has played a vital part in Nigeria's history, and is a writer of great talent and skill. I am glad he is still writing.
  
  
  Recommended? Oh, yes!
  Reread? Someday. After reading all the books on African history and culture.
  
  

• Women's Lip - TBD
  
  Borrowed? Gift
  
  

  An amusing little collection of feminist snark, which is going to feature on this blog sooner or later.
  
  Recommended? For amusement only.
  Reread? No.
  
  

• Pronatalism: The Myth of Mom & Apple Pie - Ellen Peck, Judith Senderowitz, Eds.
  
  Borrowed? Nope.
  
  

  This is an excellent collection of essays about the institutionalized pronatalism that has led the global population to increase by 50% over the last 40 years. Whatever happened to the ZPG movement? Forty years ago, governments concluded that the human population of the planet had grown too large and must be managed down to zero growth. Forty years later, we are seeing a vicious wave of pronatalism nearly unprecedented in previous history. Even as people endlessly whine about the rising cost of living, the pollution of the atmosphere, the water, the very earth, the crowded conditions of our cities, the lack of opportunities for young people entering schools and the workforce, we are breeding like cockroaches, with disastrous consequences, and no one is drawing the logical conclusion.
  
  Recommended? Highly. For anyone interested in women's studies, feminism, social studies, population studies, ecology, sustainability, and the fate of the world.
  Reread? As soon as ever I can.
  
  

I just noticed that four out of the six books I read this month were weighty and not a quick read. So there's that in my defense. I will stop beating myself up now and post an updated booklist to be read by July 1.

books

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Health news this week

Well, poo. I always knew smoking was addictive, and now I know how addictive. Yes, I'm trying to quit yet again. In my own defence, I smoke two cigarettes a day, sometimes fewer. I never smoke around the cats. But I want to say someday that I do not smoke at all.

Gardasil protects women against human papilloma virus (hpv), cause of genital warts and linked to uterine cancer. Apparently, it also protects against anal and penile cancer in boys. So I don't know why the BBC would spotlight this as a "gay man's issue," since, to the best of my knowledge, the virus doesn't inquire as to your sexuality before it begins its dirty work.

Luverly. As I age disgracefully, the number of threats to my health are multiplying like ... like ... bacteria! Quit laughing. You're next.

Prolactin holds out hope for multiple sclerosis sufferers. Yay. Interestingly, the Harvard School of Public Health says that contraceptive use can also help. Even more interesting, birth month apparently determines one's risk. Mamas, don't get pregnant in the fall or winter.

Puir little beasties. They mayn't be friendly or anything, but this is a horrible way to go. Good to hear that they've got help.

In other news, apparently the number of dog bites has increased over the past decade. Are dogs getting more stressed out by modern living? Or are parents devolving into "too stupid to spawn" types who leave kids and dogs alone together without ensuring that the kids know enough not to irritate the dogs? I grew up with lots of animals, and I can remember being bitten by a dog only once. It was my fault, I was teasing the poor creature with one of my toys, and he finally tired of it. My parents, er, fluffed my cheeks (nether) so mightily that I never teased another animal.

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