Politics: Vampire Banks Part 2,000,000
Surprise, surprise. Via Yahoo Finance comes a piece from Rupert Murdick's Wall St. Journal announcing that the same banks that taxpayers generously (albeit unwillingly) bailed out last year at the instigation of the Bushies — will be hitting you with new fees and new "products" in an attempt to suck $50 billion out of your pockets.
What, the first $X billion they sucked out of us wasn't enough? Motherfuckers.
They will institute new checking account and credit card fees for the same old shit we've been robbed for all these years. And, to add insult to injury, they will be trying to slip all kinds of charges into your existing account before they're forced to comply with the Credit Card Act of 2009, which limits interest rate increases and keeps banks from raising your credit card rates until and unless you're more than 60 days late on your payments. And, as if that weren't enough, here's what else they plan to do:
Issuers are closing accounts, switching cards with fixed interest rates to variable rates and introducing cards that have an annual fee.Check your credit card bills, statements, in fact anything those fucking arse-bandits send you. Jesus! These pigfuckers would screw their own grandmothers without even the courtesy of lube.
If you have a Victoria's Secret credit card, you should know that the issuer Gander Mountain plans to charge you a $1.00 "processing fee" for every transaction in which you use that card. And what is their bollocking excuse for this added fee?
"One requirement of the Credit Card Act of 2009 is that monthly billing statements will now have to include significantly more information pertaining to the cardholder's terms and conditions, thus increasing the amount of paper, production and postal expenses as well as having a greater environmental impact," the company said in a written statement.You fucking lying sacks of shit. We gave you a shitload of money because you told us the whole fucking international financial market would collapse because you assholes had been taking unseemly risks with our money. You created credit default swaps and sold them to god and China. You created toxic securities. You packaged the shit paper with the triple A paper and created a sliced-and-diced instrument that no one could put a value on, and all throughout the decade or so that you were doing this, you paid yourselves huge bonuses and CEO salaries even as you jerked off in masturbatory frenzies every time working stiffs lost their jobs.
You schlepped around on your private jets and you had the gall to use OUR FUCKING BAILOUT MONEY which was supposed to rescue your flabby pathetic saggy white asses from the fires of hell, to buy brand new jets and award yourselves even bigger bonuses, fueling the whole trip down the tubes to the toilet with hookers, champagne, and lavish spending that hasn't been seen since the days of the robber barons. And throughout this entire fiasco, you stuffed our money up your tight arseholes and shoved redwood trees up there to keep it secure and out of circulation so that small businesses cannot even get a fucking loan — which was the whole idea of handing that money over to you, you greedy fucking bloodthirsty sharks, to keep commercial paper moving.
And now you want us all to bend over and drop trou and hold our breaths in anticipation of your next arse-fucking? I think not, you motherfuckers.
Your not-so-friendly credit card company might well start instituting fees on your inactive accounts, so now would probably be a good time to close those, unless you want to keep paying these vampires to rape you on a regular basis.
On the plus side, the government will crack down on overdraft fees and the like. In the meantime, you might want to pay off as many of your high interest cards as you can, close any account you don't use, and keep a close eye on the industry over at LowCards. Remember that the Federal Reserve has now made it mandatory for banks to ask you before they can charge you an overdraft fee. So if they suddenly start charging you, call them up and give them hell, and don't sign anything until you're clear about what it means. Call your bank and demand to speak to a customer rep and write them a letter (keep a copy on file) memorializing exactly what the customer rep said to you.
It'll be helpful in resolving the inevitable disputes that will arise because these bloodsucking bandits will be trying to gouge you for all they can get. And don't start feeling all good about using debit cards instead of credit cards, unless you have no fiscal discipline whatsoever. Because when you use a credit card to make a purchase, you're essentially taking an interest-free loan, if you pay the card off at the end of the time period. You're using the issuer's money to make your purchase.
When you use a debit card, it's your own money you're using. Banks make a lot more money from debit cards than they do from credit cards. So if you plan to pay off everything when it comes due, use the credit card instead. If you have a low interest rate, figure out how much it'll cost you to pay off the purchase in a reasonable period if you need liquidity for other reasons. In the event, these days, using a credit card, or a bank at all, requires some money smarts and a little work.
In the meantime, if you're sick and tired of being screwed by the banks, here's an idea that's gaining a little momentum: Move Your Money.
The big banks — JP Morgan/Chase, Wells Fargo, Citibank, BofA — got bailed out. Local community banks are struggling. Well, you can make the difference. Pull your money out of those big banks and put it in your small local bank. Check out the link and decide for yourself. This is something we can do as consumers that will allow us some measure of control over our money and the nation's banking situation. Congress ain't doing shit for us. We have to do it ourselves.
Pass it on. The FDIC insures your money regardless of where it's deposited. So take the step now. Move Your Money has a search function that will let you find the closest community bank to your home/office. If enough of us move our money, we can change the banking industry in this nation to something useful that gives back to the community and encourages growth and development. Instead of this giant parasitic leech that is sucking the fucking life and soul out of us all.
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Bonus cute kitteh pitcher:
Keeps teh blood pressure down. Stumble It!