Stupid People

La Casa de Los Gatos might have to start a new category for posts: Stupid People. We admit to being curmudgeonly and misanthropic by nature (you know that old line, "I love humanity, it's people I can't stand"? We said it first. In utero.).

We believe (los gatos included) in fairness and freedom, rights and responsibilities, equity and social justice. But we also would really, really, really like to part some people's hair with the trademarked Golden Bat o'Clue. You know, the kind of people who don't believe other people have, or should have, rights? The Taliban types? The fundie wingnuts? The AFA?

Here, for example, we present today this fine specimen, one JoAn Karkos of Lewiston, Maine. Ms. Karkos got her knickers in a big ole knot about sex education on account of a book titled "It's Perfectly Normal." Interestingly, several of her fellow citizens, including a Catholic parent who is homeschooling her youngsters, found this book so tasteful and informative that they have purchased it for their own sproggen. But not Ms. Knickerwads, oh no.

This pathetic walking colostomy bag claims she was "horrified" by the book. Fine. Everybody has a right to be offended, even if some people, like Ms. Knickerwads, are just offense kleptomaniacs, taking it wherever they can find it. So, it's offensive? Don't read it, or look at it, keep your sprog away from it, and like that.

But that's not enough for Knickerbags. Oh, no. She has to go check out every copy she can get her dimwitted paws on, and refuse to give them back. From the pertinent articles on this infuriating twit:

JoAn Karkos made her feelings known in letters to the Lewiston and Auburn public libraries. Each letter was accompanied by a check for $20.95 to cover the cost of the book, "It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health."

In one letter, Karkos wrote, “I have been sufficiently horrified of the illustrations and sexually graphic, amoral, abnormal contents. I will not be returning the books.”

Hey, ignoramus — one is not horrified "of" something, one is terrified of or horrified by something. Obviously, reading is not something you do a whole lot.

Now, the nice library director sends her check back, and encloses a form to request that the book be removed from the shelves. Does she fill in the form? Hell, no. So the library board addresses the controversy at its regular meeting and Knickerwads shows up to defend herself. On the plus side, the library has received email and phone calls from people wanting to donate money or copies of the book. On the minus side, Ms. Knickerbockermop defends herself, claiming she's done nothing wrong, and brags about how she's getting interview requests from media outlets all the way to New York City. Yeah, they just can't believe anyone as dumb, bigoted, and narrow as you can actually breathe without assistance, honey.

The book itself has been translated into many languages and is sold around the world. The author, when interviewed, said:

“Our kids already know about 99.9 percent of this stuff. What concerned me is that they have a lot of misinformation, no matter how much they tell us, and I wanted them to get accurate information. So I think the litmus test for me was, ‘What’s in the best interest of the child? What’s going to help a child stay healthy?’”

Sounds good.

The library told Knickerbogs it would file a complaint against her with the local flatfoots if Knickerbags didn't forthwith hand back their book. But, of course, Miss "The Media is More Important To Me" has blown them off, and actually had the unmitigated gall to file a complaint against them for obscenity.

She's been summoned to court. Teh judge sez return teh book, pay a $100 fine for wasting the court's time, you're in contempt, and if this shit ain't done by Friday, lady, you're in the hoosegow, too.

Now here's the part that really, really will make your head explode: Karkos maintains she didn't commit a crime. Excuse me, lady? You did. When you take something paid for by our tax dollars and refuse to return it? That's called stealing, you pathetic biological miscarriage. If the library says they want the book back, the book is what you have to give them. Not your lousy check. They said they want the goods, not your money, and since you committed a crime against them, they can specify the restitution of their choice.

We really, really hope she does go to jail. Why do these horrible Aunt Noseys think it is their right to censor what the rest of us may see, hear, read, or see? What business is it of hers? If she doesn't want to see it, or have her children see it, she can always request that the librarian shelve the book in the adult section. To which, no doubt, she never goes. Geez, what a fucking pinheaded Nosey Parker.

And, before you ask, yes, we have cut down our meds. They make us too happy but also too spazzed out to do anything.

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