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Saturday, August 23, 2008

2008 Elections: John McCain's Terrible

horrible, really really bad, like, stinking week. Truly, it stunketh. And let La Casa de Los Gatos assure you, we here thoroughly enjoyed it. Or, in LOLcat:

This may be the game-changer that puts Oldy McMoldy right out of the running.

What brought this on, you ask? Why, Oldy McMoldy himself, with his patented Gaffe-a-Minit conversational brilliance! Alas, how his handlers must rue the day this idiot learned to talk. First it was the comment about how you had to earn $5 million a year to be considered "rich." How out of touch is that? Given how all our jobs are flowing overseas faster than lava from a volcano, most of us would consider ourselves very very lucky indeed to make anything over $50,000 a year. Of course, Johnny Mac himself has a rich, rich, rich sugar-mommy with $100 million to her name. This is how you live when you have $100 million to play with.

Then it was "Open mouth, change feet" with that comment to Politico that he didn't know how many homes he owns. Duuuude! The housing market has crashed big-time, we're in the middle of a recession, and you don't know how many houses you and sugar-mommy own? You think working-class and middle-class Americans who are watching their friends and neighbours lose their jobs to other countries and their homes to foreclosure are going to like hearing that?

Oh, wait, your economic adviser Phil Gramm and you think that we're all imagining this recession, and our economic woes are all in our heads, don't you? Guess you can believe that when you own seven houses and pay a quarter of a million dollars a year in salaries for the help! And look at these houses!
One of the many McCain houses, with a theater room and a seven car garage with a four bedroom guest apartment, for total living area of roughly 14,000 square feet with 13 bedrooms and 15 bathrooms, is back on the market this month, with an asking price of $12 million.
Tip o' the topper to the lovely laydees at Women for John McCain.

And then the candidate tried fitting both feet in his mouth, just to see if he could:
McCain’s campaign responded by raising Obama’s ties to Tony Rezko, a former Obama fundraiser who was convicted this year on corruption charges unrelated to the senator. Obama and his wife bought their $1.65 million home in 2005 after getting advice from Rezko.
Senator, a word of advice: Don't make these types of accusations. Because Senator Obama may have bought his house for less than the seller's original price, but the seller has officially confirmed that the Senator's price was the highest offer he received. The money came from Senator Obama's royalty earnings (a mere $4 million, which doesn't qualify him as "rich" in your book) from the sale of two of his books. And Tony Rezko was tried in a court of law which failed to find any link or even a hint of wrongdoing by Senator Obama in the purchase of his home.

Whereas you, Senator McCain, committed actual crimes in the Keating Savings & Loan Scandal, as did your wife. Your wife also stole prescription drugs from a charity that she set up and fraudulently filled prescriptions in the names of her staff for her drug addiction. Her wealth and social position ensured that she didn't even get a slap on the wrist for her crimes, just as they ensured that you escaped the consequences of shilling for Keating who stole the life savings of so many elderly people. Thanks to you, Senator McCain, the taxpayers had to cough up $3.4 BILLION dollars to cover the losses brought about by your friend Keating. Meanwhile, your wife bought a property from Keating for chump change and sold it later for $15 million. Nice work. If you can get it.

What exactly did Senator Obama do? Nothing illegal, criminal, immoral, or unethical. The total extent of his wrongdoing was having a friendship with a guy who gave him some real estate advice and was later found to have committed fraud and money-laundering. If having friends who do bad stuff were a crime, the entire Bush clan would have been in jail for years, based on their grandfather's illegal and treasonous dealings with the Nazis; G.H.W.'s funding of drug runners and the Iran-Contra affair; Uncle Jonathan's involvement in money-laundering for the Saudis (including the Saudi princess who partially funded the 9/11 terrorists); Neil Bush's involvement in the Savings and Loan scandal which his daddy papered over by charging the taxpayers $126 billion to cover up the crimes of his son; and the like. We don't even need to discuss the flouting of international law, human rights, war crimes, Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo, and the blatant crapping all over the U.S. Constitution and its guarantees of free speech, civil rights, and open government.

And of course, both you and CindyLou would be in Club Fed. Between the drug-stealing and the bookkeeping for Keating (how convenient that she could never find the receipts and checks related to the Keating debacle), your wife has a nice little rap sheet. Or would, if she weren't filthy rich.

Of course he hasn't learned his lesson. The Vicki Iseman business was more notable for the lobbyists he surrounds himself with and their disproportionate and improper influence on him than for any hint of romance with yet another anorexic bottle blonde.

Here's Johnny, once again proving that he has no idea what regular people's lives are like these days. Watch him offer people $50 an hour to pick lettuce:

Commenter hnsez sez:
McCain must wipe his nose with $50 bills. Most of the rest of us would work our asses off for that much money! Hell that's more than a tank of gas! I'm starting to think McMoneyBags is even more out of touch with the general public and the economy than George H.W. Bush was! SIGN ME UP!
Then, of course, there's the always delightful Eugene Robinson's take on McCain that sums up much of the unease the denizens of La Casa de Los Gatos experience with this guy. We liked him better when we didn't know him as well.

In further news that might be making McPain unhappy, the Whores Street Journal is reporting that things are not looking good for McCaincient over in Nevada. We hadn't anticipated the candidacy of Bob Barr, who is likely to beat McCaincient like the old man's hired help beats the rugs.

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Stumble It!


At 10:06 AM, Blogger Katie Schwartz said...

You are brilliant. Mcfuckstick is utterly clueless and such a nefarious prick. He's so out of touch with reality and what this country needs, it's sickening. I can't believe anyone would vote for him. I know many republicans who are actually voting for Obama because they are finally disgusted with G-Dub THAT MUCH and don't want another war mongering president who will kill this economy.

Most excellent post.

At 12:28 PM, Blogger ThePoliticalCat said...

What can I say, every single Republican I know is either voting for Obama or staying home this year. They can't stand McCain (er, I don't like him much either, have you noticed?).

At 7:28 PM, Blogger Katie Schwartz said...

Have I noticed?! Please, you are FABULOUS. I love your irreverence. I am hoping I can talk you into sending some of your brilliance my way. Please, please, please I know I'm begging. You have mad liberal writing skills, child.

Please send me something: McC**t Essay Contest


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