Politics: Fundies In Retreat

The (most un-)Christian Coalition has announced that it plans to bypass the presidential primaries, in favour of congressional elections. Not because they've lost some of their power as sleazy preacher after sleazy preacher was exposed for lives of sin, prostitution, hypocrisy, homosexuality, corruption, nepotism, lavish spending, and so forth. No, no. It's because:

"We're going to be focusing on congressional races," president Roberta Combs told the Associated Press by telephone. "I think it's more important that we focus on the congressional races and getting more conservatives in office because that's who makes the laws that govern our land."

You heard it right here, folks and fellow voters. Get your butts out there and vote in the congressional elections unless you want a bunch of sleazy hypocritical godbags like Tom "I Support Abortion In The Marianas Islands" DeLay, Bill "I Tortured Shelter Cats For A Living" Frist, Rick "It's Natural For Men To Want Sex With Dogs" Santorum, John "Men Must Not Be Allowed To Marry Box-Turtles" Cronyn, David "Diapers Are Not Just For Kids" Vitter, Newt "She's Dying, I Want A Divorce" Gingrich, and Mark "He Was Old Enough" Foley making the laws that govern your life and your kids' lives.

These sanctimonious godbags seem to be fine with the fact that the people they elect are the worst hypocrites, liars, cheats, and thieves. It's all OK as long as you believe in the Guy In The Sky. It's OK to bomb children, kill pregnant women (but not their fetuses~!), murder sick people in hospitals, kill old people by refusing them decent health care, figuratively spit on the troops by running sleazy "charities" that pay you half a million for throwing a few bucks their way ... it's all OK. As long as you hate gay people, brown people, and people of different religions.

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