OK, What-All's in the Water Down South?
Because, yaknow, we here at La Casa de Los Gatos are having some serious problem understanding what the fuck is going on.
Let's start with last week's little fiasco. A math teacher in Jefferson County, Alabama apparently decided the best way to teach his students about geometry was to give them a hypothetical about the correct angle to use when attempting to assassinate the President of the United States.
President of the United States in the Oval Office
Excuse me, what the fuck?
They finally put the sum'bitch on leave, but I'm willing to bet it was paid leave. And it took them forever to do it. Apparently the only reason the school put him on leave at all was because they were flooded with irate calls from all over the country. However, you'll be relieved to hear that the Secret Service did pay the little asshole a visit, which probably gave him diarrhoea for a week or two. Here's hoping it left teh burn of overuse and chilli dogs on his hemorrhoids. Fecking eejit. The school has not released his name. Wonder why? For those of you who care, his name is Gregory Harrison, and he teaches, or taught, at Corner High School.
So kudos to those of you who called. Until you did, the school was going to "have a conversation" with him. Probly along the lines of "Don't say stuff like that again in public, dood."
Martin Luther King's Assassination
Now, back when the Bouchebag Gee, Dumb? Yeah! was in charge, this is how teachers who did anything similar were treated:
Steve White, a science teacher at West Limestone High School near Athens, Alabama, was fired in 2006 after showing a film clip to his class in which President George W. Bush, members of his staff, and conservative personalities were referred to as "a–holes."Incidentally, White was a Democratic candidate for the Alabama House of Representatives at the time. Imagine that, fired for telling the truth! I mean, how many people on this planet would disagree with the conclusion that conservative personalities are assholes? Geez, perhaps they're not. Perhaps they're GIANT MAJOR FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS SYPHILITIC ASSHOLES! There, I feel better already.
OK, it might look like I'm pickin' on poor ol' 'Bama, what with that story about the right Reverend or whatever you call those Baptist preachers, you know, that guy Aldridge with the two wetsuits and a condom-covered dildo stuck up his ass; followed by that darling little story about the homophobic, anti-sex-toy Attorney General of the State being busted by his wife schtupping his GAYGAYGAYGAYGAY male aide in the marital bed.
But, trust me on this, we're equal opportunity oppressors at mi Casa, just like Dear Old Mum. Catholic, as it were, in our hatreds. In fact, our next story takes place in Lumpkin County, Georgia.
I know. WTF were those dumb lumps thinking when they named the fecking place?
In the event, another fucking high-school teacher in that god-forsaken place apparently decided it was cool for her high-school advanced placement students to study racism by filming themselves cavorting around in — you guessed it, Ku Klux Klan costumes.
Except she didn't mention this little fact to anyone else in the school.
Imagine the surprise of the black and brown kids in the school who are sitting there eating their lunch when in come a bunch of assholes in Klan sheets with pointy hoods. Excuse me, Catherine Ariemma, what the fuck were you thinking? So far so bad, but here's where things take a turn for the abso-fucking worst.
The Klan-costumed kids start taunting the black kids and end up by inviting one of the black kids to join them in re-enacting a lynching.
We leave it to you to determine what part the black kid would have played. Stumble It!