ThePoliticalCat

A Blog devoted to progressive politics, environmental issues, LGBT issues, social justice, workers' rights, womens' rights, and, most importantly, Cats.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Politics: Opinionifying

Douchebag

If you haven't already seen it, Ross Douchehat wrote a sanctimonious, assholistic, ignorant, lame-assed editorial for the New York Times that absolutely reeks of having been pulled out of his bung. For maximum benefit, take blood pressure and psychoactive medication before reading. You'll be glad you did.

Why the Times decides to let this worthless motherfucker opine on abortions he is never going to have is beyond me. In any event, it is my sincere hope that you will give them what-for. Until right-wing hacks like Douchebag disappear off the horizon, this country doesn't have a prayer of moving in a progressive direction. As always, Douchebag shows us that rightwingnuttia is far more interested in having its collective nose up the panties of women and LGBTQ folk than in, say, stopping war, apprehending war criminals, fixing the economy, making the switch from an exploitative, war-based economy to one that puts the environment and all its ecological components first, with health care for all and an end to starvation and poverty, respect for science and preservation of the world we inhabit. So. Fuck Douchebag. Figuratively, at least. At editorial@nytimes.com.

I took it upon myself to start the tirade:
Dear Sir or Madam,

I realize that you may have difficulty scavenging for "Op-Ed" writers, but really, do you HAVE to scrape the bottom of the barrel quite so obviously? Ross Douthat is hardly qualified to speak about so powerful and emotional an issue as abortion, having neither the capacity to ever experience the need for one, nor any other particular skillset that entitles him to make any pronouncements whatsoever on the topic. If you must have someone other than a person with pregnancy capabilities (or "woman," if you prefer, since it appears you are unacquainted with the female sex to any overwhelming degree), then you could at least find a writer who was either an obstetrician or a gynecologist, a psychologist or psychiatrist, a mental health worker of any other type, an educator, an embryologist - good heavens, there must, literally, be hundreds of people you could have selected! And some of them might even be women, which would give them a more realistic and appropriate perspective on pregnancies and the termination thereof.

Instead you chose this rambling idiot who does not back up his yammer with anything worthy of being called "proof." In addition to that, his idiocy is unmitigated by skillful prose, insight, sense, sensibility, meaning, empathy, or even, lacking all else, knowledge. Surely The Gray Lady can find SOMEone, ANYone, with better credentials than this emptyhat. Let me offer myself for the position. I can do no worse. No, wait, my cat could do no worse, so let me nominate her. I assure you, her fetching, winsome visage on the op-ed page, together with a collage of her pawprints and various household items that she has destroyed in her search for art, meaning, or amusement would appeal to your readers far more than the lard-faced apologist of the lower depths that is Douthat.

Sincerely,

thepoliticalcat
Look at that face. Who would want to fuck that pathetic thing? No wonder he can shoot his mouth off about abortions. He will never need one, or even cause anyone else to need one. After all, let's face it, if you thought something that looked like that was gonna crawl into or out of your twat, wouldn't you just give yourself a twatectomy with razor wire?

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Stumble It!

4 Comments:

At 5:22 PM, Blogger sgtg said...

Yowza! I love that this douche has a name that so easily morphs into douchehat.

So, question for everyone. Why is douchebag so popular now? My hubby, 59 years old, when told that douchebag is a very popular term in the blogoshphere almost fainted. When he was a lad, saying that would cause the mouth to be washed out with the soap!

Just curious.

 
At 5:49 PM, Blogger ThePoliticalCat said...

Yaknow, that's a good question. Could be the scary boy thing of anything involving girl bits. Lots of progressive bloggers prefer "cobag," which is short for "colostomy bag." Both terms include that icky sense of eww, container for something gross and dirty, although that's definitely more eww for cobag. I'm not familiar enough with douches to know (I know women use them, but I'm not really sure what for. When I was a young'un, I thought it was to prevent pregnancy, but I don't really think that's very effective, or at least, not as effective as The Pill or even a condom; in those days, ladies of teh evening used vinegar; these days those things come in strawberry and mint, which is kinda weird. If you want a strawberry, wouldn't it make more sense to get a lollipop?). Anywho. Do you think it's an offensive term? I'm beginning to think it might be.

 
At 7:16 PM, Blogger Ms. Manitoba said...

Great letter, PolCat!!! You were just telling me that you thought you'd lost your verbal touch because of pain pills and then you write a grand piece like that. You're fishing for complements, methinks.

Douchebag -- it's not so offensive ... although I think you are right that men are more offended than women.

Douching had two uses ... from my memory:
-- keep your twat healthy pH-wise, thus the vinegar
-- keep it smelling good - this came from some men making disparaging remarks about the smell of vaginas - one of these being Quentin Crisp that English gay man. I went to see him once and walked out when he started making all kinds of jokes about how he would never be a lesbian because he couldn't stand the smell or taste of fish -- couldn't understand how lesbians could muff dive -- to this day, he makes my blood boil ... but I digress [hee hee]

 
At 6:34 AM, Blogger sgtg said...

I'm assuming it's meant to be offensive. A more pleasant way of say fucking asshole I thought. Of course, I'd just rather say fucking asshole. But you knew that already. My mom always had one hanging in the bathroom off the towel rack. pretty ugly contraption. Never considered using one myself.

 

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