Congratulations Are In Order!
It's the morning after the night before, and what a night it was! First off the bat, congratulations, California! It looks like the voters of the Great Golden State proved themselves, once again, to be the forward-looking independent-minded, trend-bucking bunch of eccentrics they've always prided themselves on being. Result: Governor Jerry Brown, Senator Barbara Boxer, Congressmembers Nancy Pelosi, Fortney "Pete" Stark, Henry Waxman, Lynn Woolsey, and a slew of other progressive Democrats. Neutral about Kamala Harris, but it looks as if she might have won her race, too. Thank you for keeping the Great State of California a deep and enduring blue. All over CA, Democrats have won their races by 60-80%.
Congratulations are also due to the Great State of Colorado! Despite forebodings and prognostications of doom, CO now has a Democratic Governor, John Hickenlooper, who ran on NOT attacking the other candidates. Yay, Hickenlooper. Hickenlooper's win means that disgusting maggot, Tom Tancredo, will have to find some other body politic to devour. CO has also returned Senator Michael Bennett to his Legislative seat. Good riddance to Ken Buck, the man who won't admit to wearing high heels. Finally, thanks to Dan Maes' dismal showing at the polls (<10% support), the Republican party is now an official minority party in CO. Thank you Dan, and thanks to all your teabagging supporters. Suck that Koch.
Congratulations to the State of Rhode Island, where former Republican-turned-independent and always-sensible moderate Lincoln Chaffee won the Governor's mansion with the help of Democrats, who turned the whole state blue. Democrats won all their statewide races. GO, RI! And as for Frank Caprio, dude, this is why you DO NOT fucking diss the fucking President of the fucking United fucking States, OK? He's the Prez. You might not like him, but he has a huge and loyal following. President Obama, despite the terrible shape of this country when he took over, still has higher ratings than most other Presidents at his stage of holding office. When you diss him, you piss off a lot of Democrats who might otherwise have thought of voting for you. I hope you've learned your lesson., you little fucker. Now go hold your tongue and try to make yourself useful.
Congratulations to the blue, blue State of Massachusetts! Deval Patrick keeps the Governor's mansion, and Barney Frank goes back to the Senate! And better yet, Democrats won EVERY SINGLE RACE in MA.
Congratulations to the State of New Hampshire for retaining your Democratic governor, John Lynch. Despite the efforts of homophobes to unseat him because he supports LGBTQ rights, Lynch beat out the Republican handily and goes on to serve his fourth term. Some anti-incumbent mood.
Congratulations to the State of Maryland for returning feminist icon Barbara Mikulski to the Senate. The Senate sure could use a few more like her, and a lot less like, gee, Cornyn? Coburn? Brownback?
Congratulations to the State of Connecticut for rejecting Linda McMahon and supporting Richard Blumenthal instead. Blumenthal's clearly the better candidate, and your voters proved that they knew it.
Congratulations to Delaware for sending the would-be witch and perennial Senate Candidate, Christine O'Donnell, back to her battery-toy collection. DE went with Chris Coons, who knows the First Amendment by heart. Yay, DE!
Congratulations to the Great State of New York for choosing Andrew Cuomo instead of krayZloony Carl Paladino, who brought his baseball bat to his concession speech. The guy is nuttier than a fruitcake, and I'm glad he's history. Also, Schumer. I'm not wild about him, but his constituents seem to be, so good work, NY, for sending him back to the Senate. Pity y'all allowed five districts to slip into Repub hands, but Gillibrand won her race, so overall, y'all done good.
Congratulations to the beautiful State of Hawai'i for making Neil Abercrombie your new Governor! Duke Aiona was a dangerous loon. Abercrombie was by far the better choice. Thanks to y'all, Democrat Brian Schatz takes the Lt.-Gov's seat. Democrats hold both the State House and Senate, so y'all are on the right road! Daniel Inouye returns to the Federal Senate. Colleen Hanabusa beat Charles Djou. And Mazie Hirono returns to her job with a solid win.
Congratulations to the Silver State for handing Sauron Angle a 7-8 point defeat in her widely acclaimed teabagger race for the Senate. The Koch brothers and Dick Armey spent millions there, only to lose. Happy Day. NV is no more for sale than CA or CO.
Congratulations to the Grand Canyon State for returning Progressive Rep Raul Grijalva to the House, despite last-minute attacks on him and his office. Congratulations for returning Democrats Ed Pastor and Gabrielle Gifford, also. Unfortunately, y'all have to live with the twin embarrasments of Dan "Potatoe-Head" Quayle and Jeff "There's A Good Reason For My Last Name" Flake. Also, Brewer? Srsly?
The Republicans are spinning like tops to claim that this was a landslide for their end of the political spectrum. We here at La Casa de Los Gatos are just really glad that the worst of the teabagger candidates went down faster than a manwhore. Palin endorsee and campaign slimebag Joe Miller? Looks like he's going down. Sauron "Church Lady" Angle? Gone, gone, gone. Cara Carleton Sneed Fiorina? History. Chuck deVore, are you happy now? PayLin endorsed her instead of you. It was the kiss of death.
Meg "Watch Me Spend My Billionz" Whitman? Gone. Christine "Masturbation is For Me, Not Thee" O'Donnell? Gone straight to jail, did not pass Go, did not collect those $200M dollars she needs to pay off all her bad debt, rehabilitate her candidacy, and try for political life ever again. Ken "Vote For Me, I Don't Wear Heels" Buck? A bad memory. Dan "Bicycles Are A UN Plot" Maes? To be remembered forever as the man who single-handedly took the Republican party to minority status in CO.
The teabagger candidates who won — Marco Rubio, Nikki Haley, and Rand Paul — represent a mere fraction of the total. But Rand will be a thorn in Mitch McConnell's side, which makes us kinda happy. Prediction? More political grandstanding, posturing, and fractures ahead. The Blue states seem to have become bluer, and the Red states seem divided between radicaloony teabaggers and moderate conservatives who find them unacceptable, with Democrats and Progressives tucked away in various corners, working hard to turn their Red states Blue. Despite teabagger challenges to most Republican candidates, most of them survived intact (Sam Brownback won handily in KS, Roy Blunt Trauma in MS, and Governor Goodhair in TX).
What's interesting is what happened to Blue Running Dog democrats, like Stephanie Herseth-Sandlin and Blanche Lincoln. 23 out of 54 Blue Dogs lost their seats. And their support of, (or opposition to) universal health care had nothing to do with it. If anything, we can expect more progressive Democrats in the House.
So, overall, as to be expected in a mid-term election year, the party in control lost seats. It's not a stinging defeat, it just shows that more work needs to be done. Today we celebrate. Tomorrow, we're back at work. Stumble It!