I Don't Care If It Rains or Freezes, Long As I Got My ... Oops!

Touchdown Jebus

Well, darn! Looks like gawd's sending somebody a little message. Apparently, this ol' honkin' thing you see in the photo up there is a fucking six-storey statue of jeebus calling a touchdown on the side of some freeway in Ohio. Gawd must not have been happy about the morons who built this fucking thing spending a quarter of a million dollars on shit like this while her children starve and suffer, because just today, she laid a touchdown on this fricking statue (thank you, gawd).

Yup, she burned the gawd-damned thing right down to the ground, leaving only the twisted steel skeleton and some bits and pieces of foam, or so says the news.

Now, who the fuck would put up some bullshit like this, instead of doing what Jeebus taught?

These bozos, that's who:

The 4,000-member, nondenominational church was founded by Bishop and her husband, former horse trader Lawrence Bishop.

Lawrence Bishop said in 2004 he was trying to help people, not impress them, with the statue. He said his wife proposed the Jesus figure as a beacon of hope and salvation.

Horse trader? I mean - is that fitting, or what?

They're actually going to rebuild the fucking thing, idiots that they are. Listen up, Bishops. If you claim to be following this weird hippie guy supposedly born a couple of thousand years ago, you know, one of them Ay-rab types with a big hooked nose, I'll bet, some real dark skin, beady black eyes, a big ol' beard and a Jewfro that made him look a foot taller, well, here's some things he said that you might prefer to do rather than spending all that money on something else that gawd might zap a couple years (or weeks, hopefully) down the line:

"For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.

Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?'

And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'"
(Matthew 25.35-40 ESV)

See, I don't remember that jeebus dude ever saying anything about making big ol' statues and idols to worship. In fact, I think he was pretty much against that kinda shit. So take that money and do one of two things with it: Feed some hungry people, visit some sick people, or jailed people, clothe some naked people — or convert it all into metal coins and shove them individually up your lardy asses.

ICHC

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