Politics: Incitement to Violence

ICHC FTLOL

The Foofaraw-Of-The-Day (hereinafter FoTD) was that some motherfucking idiot butthole surfer decided to create a poll asking whether his fellow FaceBookers thought that President Obama deserved assassination.

For those who don't use FaceBook, lots and lots of third-party developers write little apps that you can use to do silly stuff on FB, like create stupid polls that actually go to your FB account and pull all kinds of data about you and your friends and then sell it to people who want to pay money to find out what kind of people use FB and how dumb they are and also how likely to pay money for the dumb things these people want to sell them.

So there's this third-party app that lets you create polls. And most of the polls are really silly, harmless stuff like "What flavour of ice-cream are you?" and "Do you wear frilly panties?" and shit like that.

Well, this bright soul (not) decides to create this fucking poll about whether the President should be assassinated, and the choices it gives you are (Yes), (Maybe), (If he cuts my healthcare), and (No).

Some 700 or so other idiots found this poll and decided to take it. Well, actually, the first person to take it probably sent it to five other friends, who sent it to 25 other friends, and it snowballed. To the credit of most of the idiots who took it, the answer was NO by a staggering margin. And the total number of responses was very small in terms of the total number of users on FB. And, the Internets responded by reporting the dumb motherfucker to the Secret Service.

To FB's credit, they immediately suspended polls when this was brought to their attention. They then had a little talk with the app developer, asking him to fix his code so that no one could ever do such a revoltingly swinish thing again. Which he is, I believe, doing as we squeak. They also had their little session with the Secret Service and, no doubt, have turned over captured IP addresses and the like.

Welp. It won't be too long before the Men In Black have a little conversation with the feckin' eejit who wrote that feckin' poll, will it, now?



Good luck, you scum-sucking swine. You're going to need all of it that you can get. Not that we think you should be allowed much of anything, with the exception of bread, water, and shelter from the elements in a jail cell for some years, but hey. You get your day in court while the prosecutor tries to prove you guilty.

Maybe this will stop the likes of Annhole Coulter, Glen Blech, and Flush Rimbowl from making their unacceptable and unwarranted cracks about poisoning Supreme Court Justices, or the Speaker of the House, or shooting at the Speaker or the President.

Listen up, Fuckwits, one and all: US Code TITLE 18 PART I CHAPTER 115 § 2385:

Whoever knowingly or willfully advocates, abets, advises, or teaches the duty, necessity, desirability, or propriety of overthrowing or destroying the government of the United States or the government of any State, Territory, District or Possession thereof, or the government of any political subdivision therein, by force or violence, or by the assassination of any officer of any such government; or
Whoever, with intent to cause the overthrow or destruction of any such government, prints, publishes, edits, issues, circulates, sells, distributes, or publicly displays any written or printed matter advocating, advising, or teaching the duty, necessity, desirability, or propriety of overthrowing or destroying any government in the United States by force or violence, or attempts to do so; or
Whoever organizes or helps or attempts to organize any society, group, or assembly of persons who teach, advocate, or encourage the overthrow or destruction of any such government by force or violence; or becomes or is a member of, or affiliates with, any such society, group, or assembly of persons, knowing the purposes thereof—
Shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both, and shall be ineligible for employment by the United States or any department or agency thereof, for the five years next following his conviction.
If two or more persons conspire to commit any offense named in this section, each shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both, and shall be ineligible for employment by the United States or any department or agency thereof, for the five years next following his conviction.
As used in this section, the terms “organizes” and “organize”, with respect to any society, group, or assembly of persons, include the recruiting of new members, the forming of new units, and the regrouping or expansion of existing clubs, classes, and other units of such society, group, or assembly of persons.

So before you form into astroturfer organizations carrying placards advocating the violent overthrow of the government, please note that it is a fucking CRIME as defined by law. There are penalties for this kind of hate speech. You can't run around flapping your ugly gobs about killing people without consequences.

Do you understand, you cone-headed dimwits? The Free Speech amendment to the Constitution gives you the right PEACEABLY to assemble. Read it, idiots:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

If you're not assembling PEACEABLY, without guns or hate speech or threats or incitements to crime, well, there are consequences for that kind of behaviour. You have to take responsibility for your bullshit, assholes. Better start sending money to the ACLU now, motherfuckers, because they're the only ones that will bail your oversized useless lardy asses out of the hoosegow.

Moreover, these heah threats you're making against your freely and fairly elected President? That shit is laid out in the same fucking code, you worthless buttfucks. Read it and meep: TITLE 18 PART I CHAPTER 41 § 871.

Threats against President and successors to the Presidency

(a) Whoever knowingly and willfully deposits for conveyance in the mail or for a delivery from any post office or by any letter carrier any letter, paper, writing, print, missive, or document containing any threat to take the life of, to kidnap, or to inflict bodily harm upon the President of the United States, the President-elect, the Vice President or other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President of the United States, or the Vice President-elect, or knowingly and willfully otherwise makes any such threat against the President, President-elect, Vice President or other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President, or Vice President-elect, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.
(b) The terms “President-elect” and “Vice President-elect” as used in this section shall mean such persons as are the apparent successful candidates for the offices of President and Vice President, respectively, as ascertained from the results of the general elections held to determine the electors of President and Vice President in accordance with title 3, United States Code, sections 1 and 2. The phrase “other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President” as used in this section shall mean the person next in the order of succession to act as President in accordance with title 3, United States Code, sections 19 and 20.

OK, assholes? Didja get that? Do you understand the words of more than one syllable here? The next time one of you motherfuckers starts making that cocksucking pout of the lips and spouting off about the tree of liberty being watered with the blood of tyrants? Y'awl better be prepared to see some Men In Black coming through the front door, the back door, or both.

What part of PEACEABLY TO ASSEMBLE do you pointy-headed assholes not get? "Peaceably to assemble" does not mean "bring your fucking Uzis and AK-47s to the town hall and terrify little children and old ladies," do you get that yet?



Because by all you fucking hold holy, you brainless walking excrement, if you harm one hair on the head of our lawfully elected President, our Vice-President, or our Speaker of the House, be prepared for some real patriots to kick the holy fucking shit out of your cheetos-laden ass.

Stumble It!