Irony is Dying A Slow and Painful Death

The UN Crime Chief is saying that this financial crisis that's affecting us (remember? The one that started when the Bushies finally admitted they'd been lying out their asses about the "great shape" our economy was supposedly in?), yeah, well, it apparently affected banks so badly that they've been kept afloat only by the timely intervention of drug money. You know, money laundering, and all that. Illegal acts. Drugs, gambling, prostitution. At least so says the International Herald Tribune in yet another mind-boggling revelation.

My mind is so boggled right now, I think I need a drink. So, what, are they saying I shoulda gone into business wit' Uncle Vinny or "Dragon-Leg" Chau? Supported Benny the Frog and Willy Da Pimp in their endeavours, and I'd now be recession-proof? Like, if only I'd agreed to invest in Dadabhai Chor's money-schemes and Wilmington "We Break Knuckles So You Don't Have To" Szetoh's gambling parlor, today my 401(k) would not be looking like a 101(k)?

I mean, seriously. You can't make this shit up.

The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime had found evidence that "interbank loans were funded by money that originated from drug trade and other illegal activities," Costa was quoted as saying. There were "signs that some banks were rescued in that way."

Look, I know it's a little early to start hitting the bottle, but, goddammit, it's 5 o'clock SOMEfuckingwhere.

From ICHC, your source of cattitude

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