Politics: The Haramzada Gets The Joota

By now, the entire civilized (and possibly even some of the less-civilized) world has heard about Muntadar al-Zaidi, the plucky Iraqi journalist who dared to tell Bush exactly what many Iraqis thought of his "War on Terra" in Iraq.

In case anyone out there has a very very short attention span, Muntadar al-Zaidi is the guy who yelled "This is from the widows and orphans of Iraq, you dog," or something very like it, at Georgie while flinging both of his shoes at the Fratboy in Chief.



Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard people say repeatedly that the man should have been more ... restrained? (If he wasn't before, he sure as fuck is now, lemme tellya. As in, imprisoned with his hands and feet tied up either before, during, or after the hella beating he took for, um, voting with his feet. Or his footgear, at least.) al-Zaidi's current status is unknown. An Iraqi judge has vowed to conduct an inquiry into the assault on Mr. al-Zaidi. Code Pink has sponsored a petition to support the gentleman, if you care to sign up.

On the lighter side, some kind soul has set up a Web site to thank Mr. al-Zaidi for his fateful shoe-throw.

Unfortunately, the idiots who arrested al-Zaidi destroyed his shoes in the "search" for explosives they conducted upon said footwear. They could have been between $100,000 and $10,000,000 richer today if they'd squirreled one or both away. Muntadar's brother, Dargham al-Zaidi, states that his brother bought Iraqi-made shoes for the purpose. However, a Turkish company, one Baydan Ayakkabicilik San. & Tic. (or Baydan Shoes, in English) claims that they are the designer and maker of the shoe in question and are happy to announce that their sales have shot up so much, they're looking into TV advertising in the coming year. To which, Americans mired in financial distress at the holiday season, must shrug and retort, "Well, at least he's helping someone's economy.

Never let it be said, however, that anyone has passed up an opportunity to make money off this supposed insult to Teh Leader of Teh Free (??) World. The entrepreneurial spirit thrives in the bosom of one Kenney Jacob, who has posted here for your further enjoyment the "Throw Shoe at Bush" game, one that we all here at La Casa de Los Gatos highly recommend, irritating music and all.

If you want to yell at the Haramzada in Arabic at the same time, try this site. Wired has a nice piece (complete with flash games) on the plethora of other Concerned Citizens and Furrners who felt called upon to memorialize the Idiot'nThief's, um, booting. And DuckDuckBush lets you throw lots of other fun stuff at Der Dumbkopf, but not, alas, scheiss. However, they do let you suggest other things to throw, so if anyone sees fit to head over there with suggestions, hey.

To all of those who are planning to get your knickers in knots about the disrespect this post and all those linked hereto are showing to the President of the U.S.A., I'd like to point out that the somewhere between four and five thousand of your fellow citizens who are dead and the estimated 100,000 maimed and injured are probably wishing they'd been able to hurl something more painful. Four million Iraqis are refugees inside and outside their own country, and I'll bet they'd like to be in on the throwing. Add the more than one million Iraqi, Afghani, and Pakistani dead and the countless numbers of maimed and injured. Don't forget the one in seven who can't buy sufficient food for themselves and their families, the children who are literally dying of malnutrition, and the uncounted number who are being attacked on the basis of gender, sexual preference, or other failure to conform to the hardline Islamist nutcases we have put in power.

If they could do anything they wanted to the man they consider responsible for the death, disability, disappearance, and torture of their loved ones, I don't think they'll be reaching for a mere shoe.

Note: Although many translate haramzada as "bastard," that translation is incorrect. Haram is an Arabic word meaning "unclean." Think treyf. Treyf is a Hebrew word that is applied to things that are forbidden under the Mosaic laws. Haram is the Arabic equivalent. Thus, dogs are haram (though not windhounds, search me); pigs or anything made of them is haram; bottom-dwelling seafood is haram. Zada is a Farsi word meaning "son of." (The female equivalent would be zadi.)

Joota is a Hindi word meaning shoe, or shoes. Although some of you may remember having heard the old filmi song, Mera joota hai Japani, we would like to take this opportunity to point out to you that an updated version is being created for the InterTubes, titled Mera joota hai Iraqi.

For those who wonder about the significance of throwing a shoe or two at Gee Dumbya, kindly consult Salman Rushdie's brilliant novel, Shame, in which he recounts the creation of a garland of shoes as suitable wear for the shameless females Munni, Chunni, and Bunny, who chose to become pregnant without the benefit of that holy matrimony which our straight brothers and sisters so strenuously deny to their gay and lesbian siblings.

Finally, some wise soul has recommended that those who agree with Mr. al-Zaidi instantly mail an old shoe or two to Preznitwit Booooosh, at the white house. DO IT NOW so them shoes don't end up on President Obama's lawn. You might want to put a note on the package like "If unable to deliver before 01/15/2009, please return to" and put the nearest Goodwill store's address on it. Or something.

Thanks to FOTPC and Ms. Manitoba for holding down the fort while I fought with lawyers, doctors, insurance company scumbags, and pain medication. That new knee is looking more likely in the coming year!

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