Your proprietors have been the shit about keeping this place clean and up to date, eh? Fuckwits.
So here's the deal. We're going AWAY! For a while! But. It's a journey of pains in the ass, which deserve memorialization.
No, I am not going to poop all over your lives by giving you all kinds of TMI unwanted crap about, I don't know, whatever the Tweeters are tweeting these days, mostly their bowel movements or their children's. We do not do this kind of cheap shit at this fine cathouse. No. Instead, we will wax eloquent upon all the people whose asses we would enjoy to kick if we weren't a crabby, curmudgeonly, elderly GIMP. Yeah, fuck this shit, we still have Teh GIMPITUDE. And someone will be made to PAY. We could start with John BONER, oh, eh, I mean Boehner, of course, the Dooky of Orange, the man of colour, except it's a colour not found anywhere in Nature.
Get ready to return to drinking yourself green by 5 pm daily, John. I hear Nancy Pelosi's gunning, heh, I mean, angling, for your job, and if you know Nancy like I know Nancy, then you know what Nancy wants she usually gets. HAHAHA. I am so going to enjoy watching your fat ass being kicked all the way back to the golf courses where you can stumble around drunk like the drunk stumblebum you are.
OK, enough with the fucking vitriol already. John Boner has actually almost kind of thought about making arguey noises at bloated limpdick misogynist whale, Flush Rimbowl, who is busy trying to sex some law student who might just sue his fucking ass off with extreme prejudice. HAHAHA, so to speak. Whatevs. We're supposed to be fucking packing for Chrisake, 30 books and 2 changes of clothing plus socks, haha, is that enough for a month? It could be more.
Awright, awreddy. We're off.
Here is a video of a cat for both our faithful readers. Because we know you love cats. You can stay in touch with some of us through the blog. We're not saying squat about the slackers who are supposed to be blogging and keeping things up while yours truly rolls around in agony recovering from various fucking surgeries and pains and trips to deathbeds. Jesus, my life sucks something awful, don't it? Anyway. This cat looks JUST like Bandicoot! Except Bandicoot would probably disembowel me if I tried to get him to swim anywhere. Enjoy!